Social

Feb. 20th, 2017 07:40 pm
liv: Table laid with teapot, scones and accoutrements (yum)
[personal profile] liv
I've had a good month for seeing friends I don't spend time with often enough. I managed long phone chats with [personal profile] hatam_soferet and [personal profile] lethargic_man, and [personal profile] jack and I managed to get most of a weekend with [personal profile] doseybat and her mother and [personal profile] pplfichi, and the wonderful [personal profile] angelofthenorth came to stay with me for a few days.

I feel really really blessed by having such wonderful friends, especially when they reach out to me when I'm doing badly at keeping in touch. And several other people have got in touch too and I really do want to get back to them to make plans. And I'm not doing at all well at posting or commenting here (though I'm still reading, definitely, I haven't missed a day.)

It's easy to worry that I'm failing to live up to the standard I've always held, that I shouldn't let friendships slide because I'm too absorbed in romantic relationships. But I think that's not really true, that's just me being self-critical; there are lots of reasons why I'm finding keeping in touch hard, and it's not particularly because I'm poly or caught up in NRE. (Really, it's been 2½ years, I can hardly blame newness.) I've always struggled with regular correspondence, and keeping lots of different friendships going is hard for everybody at a life stage when we're dealing with demanding jobs, parenting – and it's more and more common that my friends have caring responsibilities for older relatives, grandparents or even parents.

And the fact that lots of my time and energy is taken up by commuting. I can't socialize much during the week since basically none of my friends live near me (since [personal profile] mathcathy moved away). I can't easily cram socializing into my extremely tight weekends, because if I go anywhere other than Cambridge I end up not seeing my partners for ages. Also, everybody is ridiculously busy and booked up at weekends. I think the solution to this is probably to move nearer to my main social group, who are in Cambridge and London, and hopefully that will give me more time for friends who are more distant. That is obviously quite a difficult thing to sort out, though, and I don't want to pin too much hope on everything magically becoming easier.

Anyway, the only way to restart the habit of posting here is to just go ahead and do so. Have a meme which [livejournal.com profile] ghoti sensibly imported from FB: suggest a category and I'll tell you my top five things in that category. Feel free to propagate it if you think it would be a fun thing to do in your own journal.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 07:50 pm (UTC)
angelofthenorth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] angelofthenorth
Top five festivals

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 07:55 pm (UTC)
mathemagicalschema: A blonde-haired boy asleep on an asteroid next to a flower. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mathemagicalschema
Top five places to spend an afternoon?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 08:31 pm (UTC)
onyxlynx: Blue bkgrd, large red 7th, words "decade of fabulous." (As in "I'm in my 7th decade of fabulousn)
From: [personal profile] onyxlynx
Oooh, "Categories Are" without the handclapping and the pressure to name things quickly!

Top five comedies?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 08:33 pm (UTC)
green_knight: (Kaffeeklatsch)
From: [personal profile] green_knight
I understand the 'no time to socialise' thing too well :-(

It's not that I even see people who live in London, but much of my internet circles have drifted away, dissolved, or moved to Facebook, which is too loud, too transient, and too shallow for me. My relationship has taken away my prime e-mail/socializing time - I now have relatively stable mealtimes (yay), and conversations, and board games and dishwashing in the evenings, but that's taking 2-3h that I used to spend socialising, and I haven't quite found a way to make up for it, even though - as I said - a lot of people have just drifted away anyway.

What are your top five short board games?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ewt
Top five rabbits (real or fictional).

(I have no idea why I thought of this, but now I'm genuinely curious.)

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ewt
If it would help, I could come to visit at some point. (I don't know if you have space at Keele. I can probably find crashspace in Cambridge, and I know [personal profile] hairyears likes going there too, it's just a matter of finding weekends when we are both free.)

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 11:12 pm (UTC)
kht: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kht
Top five top fives?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-20 11:59 pm (UTC)
emperor: (Default)
From: [personal profile] emperor
Top five works of fiction?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 12:18 am (UTC)
jack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jack
I almost want the top five fictional rabbis separately, there are so many amazing real-world rabbis, but I'd be really interested to know.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 07:06 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ewt

I genuinely meant rabbits as in the hopping things rather than rabbis, but I suppose if one doesn't know many rabbits at all, choosing the top 5 could be difficult.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 08:23 am (UTC)
jack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jack
Doh! I'm sorry, real-and-fictional rabbits totally makes more sense, I just read it without the 't'.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 10:04 am (UTC)
wildeabandon: photo of me with wavy hair and gold lipstick (Default)
From: [personal profile] wildeabandon
Heh, I was just about to ask this.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 10:14 am (UTC)
wildeabandon: photo of me with wavy hair and gold lipstick (Default)
From: [personal profile] wildeabandon
Top five feminist writers

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Follow up question - why is Hazel obvious? (I think part of the reason I dislike Watership Down is that I don't care about Hazel as a character, the other half being that I find the second half unmemorable to the extent that I read the book three times before remembering I'd actually finished it three times)

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 06:43 pm (UTC)
green_knight: (Lightbringer)
From: [personal profile] green_knight
Oooh, I shall check these out. It's not that I don't love long games, but while I might add one or two to my collection (I would LOVE to play Dominion - it looks fun, but so does Magic the Gathering until you play it), but we don't have time for a long session that often, and we already have plenty of games to fill that slot with.

(Where and how do you play these things online? That sounds like a great way of discovering things.)

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 07:31 pm (UTC)
rysmiel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rysmiel
Top five films generally, if that's not too impossible?

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 07:32 pm (UTC)
rysmiel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rysmiel
I kind of feel logic compels a request for top five long board games here. This is fun.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 07:45 pm (UTC)
jack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jack
I also wonder whether you've accumulated more people over time, so there's more people you'd LIKE to stay in touch with, in addition to the people you want to stay in touch with being less and less concentrated in one place.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 07:48 pm (UTC)
jack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jack
Yeah, I was afraid of that :( But I hoped you might know better than me. It's true, I can think of almost no other examples at all.

(no subject)

Date: 2017-02-21 10:42 pm (UTC)
kerrypolka: Contemporary Lois Lane with cellphone (Default)
From: [personal profile] kerrypolka
Aggadah! ❤

Soundbite

Miscellaneous. Eclectic. Random. Perhaps markedly literate, or at least suffering from the compulsion to read any text that presents itself, including cereal boxes.

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