Not sheepish, but individ-ewe-al
2017-03-02 01:34 am (UTC)
I think people are unlikely to attribute the breakup to the adversity because they see the problem as not the adversity, but how their partner reacted to the adversity.
My family home burned down when I was four and we lost everything. Neither of my parents would attribute to that catastrophe their ultimate divorce four years later. But it has become clear to me as an adult that that was the circumstance that revealed to my mother that she couldn't count on my father in a crisis – and having someone she could count on in a crisis was pretty core to what she wanted out of a spouse. So when she asked for the divorce four years later, it wasn't "You abandoned me to recover from the fire alone and that's why I want to divorce you", it was more like "I don't feel any longer you're a person worth making sacrifices to stay married to, and since you're now asking for me to make another sacrifice for your career, eh, know what? I'm out."
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