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Date: 2017-07-21 01:58 pm (UTC)
liv: Detail of quirky animals including a sheep, from an illuminated border (marriage)
From: [personal profile] liv
The paying attention thing: this is a big part of why Jewish weddings have yichud, being alone together as the symbolic consummation part. Not public kissing, not slow dancing in front of an audience, going into a room with a closed door and some guards to keep intruders out for long enough to at least theoretically have sex. I'm pretty sure most couples use it for paying attention to eachother rather than literal sex, and if I were planning a wedding and were concerned about that that's what I'd do.

Actually I didn't feel that deprived of Jack attention during our wedding, but that's partly because I positively wanted to be co-hosting and interacting with as many of our guests as possible. I think we managed bits of brief intimacy during the ceremony, like when [personal profile] angelofthenorth bound our hands together, when we did the Jewish-style circling eachother, when we had a sharing cup of tea. Dancing I would have felt too self-conscious and in the spotlight to see it as paying attention to my husband time. But I imagine lots of people are totally comfortable with show dancing just like I'm relaxed about public speaking, so I can really see how that works.

I love the idea of getting a blessing for a wedding ring tattoo! And the three person marriage in Colombia is lovely, thank you for linking to that.

But for me personally, I agree with you that there shouldn't be any more legal marriages. And I don't want to have a non-legally binding commitment ceremony either with or without a partner who dislikes wedding ceremonies, hence my reasonably high certainty that choosing music is redundant.
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Miscellaneous. Eclectic. Random. Perhaps markedly literate, or at least suffering from the compulsion to read any text that presents itself, including cereal boxes.

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