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Date: 2009-06-09 07:50 pm (UTC)
liv: A woman with a long plait drinks a cup of tea (teapot)
From: [personal profile] liv
Thank you, I'm really touched by this. It wouldn't work as a pamphlet, it covers way too many connected issues and I can't do concise. But I'm most flattered that you think that pushing it on people could help to change attitudes in a positive direction.

I don't think all the guys who bristle at negative generalizations about their gender are fuckwits, I think many of them are sincere. They may not have a visceral sense of just how big a problem rape is, so they probably honestly believe that it's completely unfair that they should fall under suspicion because of the actions of a few sociopaths.

And I think people genuinely are concerned about rape of men and how it's under-reported and stigmatized; this is a real problem, it's not fuckwitted to be concerned about it. There's an odd kind of cognitive bias going on, though, which is that people tend to pay more attention to exceptions. If someone says, rape is overwhelmingly a male crime and most of the victims are women, one's mind immediately jumps to, but I know a man who was raped, so that's wrong. But most people know tens if not hundreds of women who have been raped, it's just that in feminist discussions the existence of rape of women isn't in doubt.

The one I really thought was a fuckwit was the guy who complained that his amazingly noble non-raping behaviour wasn't getting him laid. I don't like to jump to conclusions about random strangers on the internet, but he struck me as someone I'd avoid being alone with. His protestations sound like denial or possibly even deliberate, lying manipulation. I'm glad he got jumped on hard.

The guy I met at Oxford interviews, yes, he's one of my closest friends. We haven't been in touch regularly in the past few years since he moved to Australia, and refuses to touch blogging, but he's still important to me. He kept me sane when I was having a hard time dealing with reality when I was 19 or so, and I was the first to hear that his then girlfriend was pregnant and the one who spent hours on the phone soothing him while she was in labour. I would have missed out on something very precious, and possibly not have survived university at all, if I had followed the usual "safety" advice when I was 17.
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Miscellaneous. Eclectic. Random. Perhaps markedly literate, or at least suffering from the compulsion to read any text that presents itself, including cereal boxes.

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