Drachenwald Coronation roadtrip
Jan. 9th, 2026 11:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kareina We had planned to leave at 05:00, and Keldor figured that he would need only his normal 15 minutes to go from the alarm rings to out the door. So I set the dawn light to 05:40, and hoped I would wake early enough for a quick pilates, so my hips wouldn’t hurt later.
This worked well enough that I managed a four minute session before his alarm. However, even though we had packed everything last night, it was still 05:18 before we had the last things in place, cats fed, etc and we actually started driving.
Luckily, that meant that Angelika was also ready, and we had picked her up and started driving south at 05:25
We dropped off Angelika with Maria and Matts in Umeå, and continued south 07:05
Quick stop at Örnsköldsvik for a toilet at 08:30.
Timmerå 10:37, picked up Charlotte.
Tönnebro 13:06
One more stop at a random gas station , somewhere.
On site 16:59.
Check in for those of us in crash space was delayed due to last minute change in plans. The site owners decided that we were too many to sleep dormitory style in one house due to there not being tjat many toilets, so there were some emergency reshuffleing, which resulted in we four from Reengarda who were in crash space being assigned to the boat house, which is a long way away from the other houses.
So we drove out there, unloaded everything we needed to have there and settled in (this house has a refrigerator, so I emptied the ice chest into it, and put the ice in the freezer). Then we got dressed, gathered the things we’d need on site, and drove back over to the main castle area, then walked down to the house where dinner was served so the others could eat.
Then we moved over to the main hall and hung out chatting with people, and sewing,till time for court, which I enjoyed. Lots of good awards for well deserving people, the incoming Kings looked magnificent in their matching garb.
After court four musicians started playing violin, so I hung out sewing, dancing, and chatting till qiute late, then I walked back to the boathouse with Keldor’s sister and we did yoga today before heading to bed at about 02:30. An hour and a half later, I got up, went downstairs to the loo, and found poor Keldor who had been awake for 23 hours, trying to deal with the drain on the bathroom floor. He had started to shower, but as soon as the water went down the drain the toilet backed up and spit icky water all over the floor.
So I sent the event stewards an email letting them know, and went straight back to sleep
packing for tomorrow
Jan. 8th, 2026 10:50 pmkareina While we often leave for roadtrips to southern Sweden already on Thursday evening, this time Keldor decided that we would leave super early Friday instead. Given that there is some serious snowstorm and winds happening today, especially in the Sundsvall area, where they had thunder and lightning with the snow, but most of the extreme weather warnings are for Thursday and not Friday, this is likely a good thing.
So today started with my getting the last of the cutting for the Keldor copper trim tunic done so it is ready to sew this weekend. Then packing and organising, with breaks for food, and chores like washing the cat’s water fountain.
Now it is later than I should still be up, given that we want to pick up Angelika at 05:00.
sewing progress
Jan. 7th, 2026 11:48 pmkareina I had planned to get up early and start laundry. I managed half of these, but the first load didn’t get in the machine till almost 09:09. I also planned to do my morning workout while it ran, but the time needed to run that load vanished to writing 2026-01-06 book review, The King’s Dragon and scrolling a bit.
Keldor went in to town to use the workshop at work to finish projects for friends we will see this weekend, and I got the last of the small final pieces for the Silk bliaut short tunic cut out. I think I can easily finish the sewing during the drive to 12th Night on Friday.
I was busy enough that I didn’t get to my workout at all till time for the evening zoom workout with friends.
Pr
book review, The King's Dragon
Jan. 6th, 2026 11:55 pmkareina In between errands and computer stuff I finished reading The King’s Dragon by Kate Elliott. I started it at least a week ago (when I did my first log entry for tracking reading, but was already 200 pages in, so I strongly suspect I just failed to mske a note of it). I remember that I bought the book much longer ago than that, but after downloading the app complained that I needed to activate some sort of Adobe security thing, which I had previously activated for another book, and it just didn’t work, so I gave up and forgot about it for weeks, till I bought another book for school that had a similar issue, and when i solved it, by getting yet another book app, the new book app worked for this one too.
However, the delay between purchasing and access means that I have long since whose recommendation got me to buy it, and what they said that got me past my inherent reluctance to buy stuff. Whatever it was, it didn’t warn me about how very, very unpleasant huge parts of the story are, with abusive people being abusive. I almost didn’t finish due to that aspect early on, but decided to persevere, as somewhere, somewhen, someone whose opinion I respect had said something good about the book.
I am still not sure what that praise might have been. Our viewpoint characters experience many very unpleasant things, and at no time did I wish I could live in this world, which is full of religious fanatics, sexism, class opression, and callousness. Yah, sure, the sexism is packaged a little different than is the world we live in, as power and inheritance is more through the female line, but it is still very unpleasant.
Like many classic fantasy books, this one focuses on young people who are raised to believe they are unimportant and outside the established power structure, and by the end of this book at least one is revealed to be very much part of it after all, and the other has been set up to soon be significant in kingdom scale politics.
I have always been an addicted re-reader, loving to go back to books now that I know the overall framework of the story to pick up the details and connections I missed on the first pass, and to learn who everyone is. Especially for a book like this one, where the viewpoint characters don’t cross paths till late in the book, so there are double the number of people to try to kerp track of. However, I don’t know if I am willing to go back and read through those abusive bits again. Once feels like too many, and one can’t un-read to get the bad taste out of the brain.
If you can ignore that aspect and enjoy major political upheaval, battles and betrayal, this might be a book for you.
adding properties to the blog
Jan. 6th, 2026 11:43 pmkareina I woke up this morning to a notification that I clicked on. I don’t remember what that one was, but as soon as FB presented whatever it was, I saw a post by Anne Marie Decker of https://nalbound.com/, saying she will be attending the Roman Archaeology Conference (RAC/TRAC 2026) in Denmark. so, of course, I sent a note wondering if she’d also want to come to Umeå University and present at our department seminar. She said that it sounds interesting, so after my morning workout I sent an introduction email to Ivanka, our seminar coordinator this term. I hope it works out, it would be lovely to see her. Even better if we can find museums in the north with nålbindning fragments we could go look at when she is here. Since I was sitting at the computer anyway, I got ChatGPT’s help to add properties to the GitHub version of my blog , since I had them in Obsidian. In the process I tried linking to my notes (adding properties), which file is not in the content part of this blog, and that caused an error message for the missing file such that the blog wouldn’t post at all. So I tried making that an external link to the obsidian URL, and now the link works fine, for me, and if I click on it, from within the blog it will open obsidian and display that page. However, I assume that anyone reading my blog will get an error message, unless they happen to have an obsidian vault with the exact same name and file path.
After we got home and put everything away I spent some time figuring out how to create some of the year-end financial reports for the shire. I will need to get help from Þórólfr for the others, when he is over his cold.
By the time I got the blog working Keldor was up and had eaten breakfast, so I grabbed a quick lunch, packed food for later, and we went into town, where we bought some things for the car and I picked up some fresh vegetables for a salad. Then we went to his job workshop and I borrowed the kitchen to make the salad while he changed burned out bulbs and checked fluid levels of everything that needed checking. Then he washed the outside of the van while I vacuumed the inside, whiped down surfaces, and sorted out stuff that shouldn’t be there.
Then we waxed the car and made certain it was dry before heading back into the -15⁰ C weather. Now the car is ready for the drive to Drachenwald 12th Night Coronation on Friday.
After we got home and put everything away I spent some time figuring out how to create some of the year-end financial reports for the shire. I will need to get help from Þórólfr for the others, when he is over his cold.
Daily Check-In
Jan. 15th, 2026 08:36 pmmecurtin posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
fandom_checkinThis is your check-in post for today. The poll will be open from midnight Universal or Zulu Time (8pm Eastern Time) on Thursday, January 15, to midnight on Friday, January 16 (8pm Eastern Time).
Please, talk about how things are going for you in the comments, ask for advice or help if you need it, or just discuss whatever you feel like.
Poll #34086 Daily check-in poll
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: Access List, participants: 23
How are you doing?
I am OK
14 (63.6%)
I am not OK, but don't need help right now
8 (36.4%)
I could use some help
0 (0.0%)
How many other humans live with you?
I am living single
10 (43.5%)
One other person
10 (43.5%)
More than one other person
3 (13.0%)
Please, talk about how things are going for you in the comments, ask for advice or help if you need it, or just discuss whatever you feel like.
Dept. of JFC
Jan. 15th, 2026 07:08 pmkaffy_rPer the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
She did not answer reporters' questions as to whether he accepted it.
We are indeed in not only the darkest timeline, but the most fucking surreal timeline.
*wanders off to find alcohol and a wall she can bang her head against*
We are indeed in not only the darkest timeline, but the most fucking surreal timeline.
*wanders off to find alcohol and a wall she can bang her head against*
(no subject)
Jan. 15th, 2026 06:43 pmshadarasSometimes adulthood is going "oh wow for once I don't have anything I need to do once I get off work" and promptly going and doing an errand and then washing dishes and doing laundry once getting home.
Assorted brief notes:
1.
My dojo is doing kyu testing this coming Saturday, which will be delightful. The two people testing are more than ready for these tests. (There's another person who we've been trying to get to test for years and it's just a matter of "please come consistently for a few months and take this test already!" at this point.)
2.
Wednesday evening classes are just. Draining. I do not like needing to be at school from 5pm-8pm. I didn't even when I was in college! Now it's just like "I wake up at 4:30am because of work, why must I suffer like this."
Also next week is going to be very boring because this week was a "oh shit the guest instructor suddenly can't make it" week and so they sort of half-assed an unprepared version of what they were gonna do next week. So. You know. I understood what they were teaching from the half-assed version, the teachers know that, but since most of the cohort was like ???, next week will be them going step-by-step through it with more prep. Which will be useful, and is good pedagogy, but is also going to Bore Me.
3.
h/t totrobadora for talking about Star Trek: Starfleet Academy, which mostly got me going back to Star Trek: Discovery, since Academy is set after Disco.
which means I am currently re-watching the first episode of s3, because I watched the first two episodes when they first aired and then fell off because... idk, it was Oct/Nov 2020 and I was running headfirst into QZGS and infinite flow cnovels...? But hey, Disco is a fun show, I'm so fond of Michael Burnham, and s3 is in some ways a soft reboot due to being right after the timeskip, so! Looking forward to actually getting to know the future timeline.
I do think that a huge amount of why I fell off is just... 2020 being 2020. Because I don't think I had nearly as much fun with this the first time I watched it, and now I'm just like "wow this is such good tropey fun, s3e1 is using so much good trope stuff to set up Michael/Book".
4.
god I feel like I had some other things. hm.
A podcast reminded me that Escaflowne exists, and that it's an anime that I probably would have been obsessed with as a teenager if I'd seen it then. Mecha and guys with wings. Normal things. xD I feel like it should be on crunchyroll but it's not? Alas. Probably for the best if I'm going to actually watch Star Trek right now, but I do want to at some point experience this show.
5.
Work is very nonsense.
...I think I was going to give examples, but, idk. just. nah. it's! a lot! and mostly not outright bad, just tiring, and takes too much time, as work does.
Assorted brief notes:
1.
My dojo is doing kyu testing this coming Saturday, which will be delightful. The two people testing are more than ready for these tests. (There's another person who we've been trying to get to test for years and it's just a matter of "please come consistently for a few months and take this test already!" at this point.)
2.
Wednesday evening classes are just. Draining. I do not like needing to be at school from 5pm-8pm. I didn't even when I was in college! Now it's just like "I wake up at 4:30am because of work, why must I suffer like this."
Also next week is going to be very boring because this week was a "oh shit the guest instructor suddenly can't make it" week and so they sort of half-assed an unprepared version of what they were gonna do next week. So. You know. I understood what they were teaching from the half-assed version, the teachers know that, but since most of the cohort was like ???, next week will be them going step-by-step through it with more prep. Which will be useful, and is good pedagogy, but is also going to Bore Me.
3.
h/t to
trobadora for talking about Star Trek: Starfleet Academy, which mostly got me going back to Star Trek: Discovery, since Academy is set after Disco.which means I am currently re-watching the first episode of s3, because I watched the first two episodes when they first aired and then fell off because... idk, it was Oct/Nov 2020 and I was running headfirst into QZGS and infinite flow cnovels...? But hey, Disco is a fun show, I'm so fond of Michael Burnham, and s3 is in some ways a soft reboot due to being right after the timeskip, so! Looking forward to actually getting to know the future timeline.
I do think that a huge amount of why I fell off is just... 2020 being 2020. Because I don't think I had nearly as much fun with this the first time I watched it, and now I'm just like "wow this is such good tropey fun, s3e1 is using so much good trope stuff to set up Michael/Book".
4.
god I feel like I had some other things. hm.
A podcast reminded me that Escaflowne exists, and that it's an anime that I probably would have been obsessed with as a teenager if I'd seen it then. Mecha and guys with wings. Normal things. xD I feel like it should be on crunchyroll but it's not? Alas. Probably for the best if I'm going to actually watch Star Trek right now, but I do want to at some point experience this show.
5.
Work is very nonsense.
...I think I was going to give examples, but, idk. just. nah. it's! a lot! and mostly not outright bad, just tiring, and takes too much time, as work does.
From spoofing to tunnelling: New Red Team networking techniques for initial access and evasion
Jan. 15th, 2026 10:45 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
apnic_blog_feedGuest Post: In modern network architecture, we often assume that perimeter defences are robust enough to keep internal traffic secure. However, vulnerabilities inherent in the trust mechanisms of fundamental network protocols reveal that unencrypted tunnels can become fatal backdoors in enterprise intranets.
snowflake challenge 08
Jan. 15th, 2026 07:00 pmseraphikissday eight of the snowflake_challenge! a bit late but it's fine. click here to see all of my snowflake 2026 posts! ✧*。
snowflake_challenge challenge #8: Talk about your creative process.
hmm... this one i'd have to really think about, since i'm a huge pantser and i tend to just wing all of my fics. in my previous snowflake entry, i mentioned that a lot of my fic ideas are based off dreams. which is true! my joscarl fantasia au was actually based on a dream i had about the manhwa, the queen's knight.
but let's talk about the process. which... isn't a lot, to be honest.
( my writing process )
snowflake_challenge! a bit late but it's fine. click here to see all of my snowflake 2026 posts! ✧*。snowflake_challenge challenge #8: Talk about your creative process.hmm... this one i'd have to really think about, since i'm a huge pantser and i tend to just wing all of my fics. in my previous snowflake entry, i mentioned that a lot of my fic ideas are based off dreams. which is true! my joscarl fantasia au was actually based on a dream i had about the manhwa, the queen's knight.
but let's talk about the process. which... isn't a lot, to be honest.
( my writing process )
friday
Jan. 16th, 2026 09:25 amtielanI woke up this morning at 6:15 when the alarm went off. Then I fell asleep again for another two hours. Which is unusual for my body.
I'm still feeling tired though, like I didn't get enough sleep.
We have someone coming around to talk to us about home battery options. It's not the 'lasts forever' kind of battery option that I wanted, but I'll take it for the moment just so I can learn a little more about battery options and also get something in place for the moment.
I'm still feeling tired though, like I didn't get enough sleep.
We have someone coming around to talk to us about home battery options. It's not the 'lasts forever' kind of battery option that I wanted, but I'll take it for the moment just so I can learn a little more about battery options and also get something in place for the moment.
Must Reads Magazines Statement on Changes Made to Standard Contract in Response to SFWA
Jan. 15th, 2026 10:53 pmfile770_feedMust Reads Magazines, publisher of Analog, Asimov’s and F&SF, has been working for several months with the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association on issues SFWA raised about MRM’s standard contract (“boilerplate”) language. MRM announced January 14 that now they … Continue reading
Breakfast time (well, not now, but...)
Jan. 15th, 2026 11:38 pmloganberrybunnyPublic
349/365: Larch Wood Farm, Kidderminster
Click for a larger, sharper image
Yes, I know about Robert Jenrick's defection from the Tories to Reform, which has been all over the news today, but I can't stand the man regardless of party so I'll move on quickly! Much more enjoyably, I had a free morning and so was able to go into Kidderminster for a buffet breakfast at Larch Wood Farm. Fortunately I was hungry, as shown by the fact that I had a black pudding with each of my two helpings! The bacon was particularly succulent this time, though the sausages were a tad underwhelming. Decent beans and hash browns, good fried eggs, acceptable mushrooms. Overall, pretty solid.
349/365: Larch Wood Farm, Kidderminster
Click for a larger, sharper image
Yes, I know about Robert Jenrick's defection from the Tories to Reform, which has been all over the news today, but I can't stand the man regardless of party so I'll move on quickly! Much more enjoyably, I had a free morning and so was able to go into Kidderminster for a buffet breakfast at Larch Wood Farm. Fortunately I was hungry, as shown by the fact that I had a black pudding with each of my two helpings! The bacon was particularly succulent this time, though the sausages were a tad underwhelming. Decent beans and hash browns, good fried eggs, acceptable mushrooms. Overall, pretty solid.
a productive writing day
Jan. 15th, 2026 06:22 pmseraphikissi posted about this on fandom.ink, a mastadon server that i'm giving a try. it's very quiet and i enjoy it a lot. not much traffic. but since it has a 500 character limit i might as well talk more about my writing here.
forficwip's genuary jubilee event, i wrote yet another fic of miklan and byleth as a duo. this time the prompt was found family, which is one of my favorite platonic tropes. i found is kind of a shorter fic than i wanted it to be, but i'm really proud of how it ended.
it has a simple ending, and it's a quiet conversation between miklan, someone who has never really had a family, and byleth, someone who has a father to protect her.
miklan feels out of place in a lot of my fics. he's a bandit, thug, criminal. byleth is the opposite; she delivers justice, whether it's in the name of the goddess or underneath edelgard's banner. i kind of imagine that i found is an AU where, for the longest time, byleth and jeralt were still mercenaries long before byleth met the three house leaders.
i imagine that at one point, byleth was the one who found miklan years ago, wounded and on the brink of death. hence where the title of the fic comes from, which is also named after an amber run song.
miklan is sometimes difficult to depict in situations involving family. i imagine that he hasn't felt the love of a mother in years, and so love is a foreign concept to him. when byleth tended to his wounds when she was nine years old, i feel like miklan, at the time, suspected a trap. that byleth would patch him up and kick him into the dirt. miklan is a cynical person, he always has been, and i do think he wouldn't have trusted byleth if he were older.
since this story takes place during the pre-timeskip, i kind of imagine that miklan is around his mid-20's and byleth is 21. even though it's been over a decade since they first met, miklan is still not used to the mercenary life. he's used to raids, theft, murder. he isn't used to honor codes or protection. sure, he's a brilliant leader and he does care for his crew, but do they care about him?
that's the question i kind of wanted to answer in my other miklan/byleth fic.
i posted chapter two of my orpheus/joseph/frederick fic, someone to hate. it's a slow burn, and i will admit, this chapter was a little slower than i'd like it to be. it explores more of how frederick feels about joseph, about how orpheus's behaviors are making frederick feel uncomfortable and replaced.
joseph, who i'm portraying as autistic (using my personal experiences and symptoms), is very observant. i imagine that frederick thinks that he might be too observant.
on the other hand, frederick can't blame himself for being captivated by joseph. in this fic, joseph is frederick's new housemate. orpheus suggested that joseph could fit in with frederick.
but it's later revealed that joseph and orpheus are collaborating together on orpheus's novel, identity v (yes, this is a little tongue-in-cheek easter egg). joseph takes photographs for the novel, while orpheus writes it.
frederick, a musician, isn't sure where he stands.
he's been orpheus's best friend for over two decades, and now it feels like the relationship is slipping. but is it?
i'm pretty happy with how chapter two turned out. and i'm also pretty excited about writing chapter three.
i found | miklan & byleth
for
ficwip's genuary jubilee event, i wrote yet another fic of miklan and byleth as a duo. this time the prompt was found family, which is one of my favorite platonic tropes. i found is kind of a shorter fic than i wanted it to be, but i'm really proud of how it ended. it has a simple ending, and it's a quiet conversation between miklan, someone who has never really had a family, and byleth, someone who has a father to protect her.
miklan feels out of place in a lot of my fics. he's a bandit, thug, criminal. byleth is the opposite; she delivers justice, whether it's in the name of the goddess or underneath edelgard's banner. i kind of imagine that i found is an AU where, for the longest time, byleth and jeralt were still mercenaries long before byleth met the three house leaders.
i imagine that at one point, byleth was the one who found miklan years ago, wounded and on the brink of death. hence where the title of the fic comes from, which is also named after an amber run song.
miklan is sometimes difficult to depict in situations involving family. i imagine that he hasn't felt the love of a mother in years, and so love is a foreign concept to him. when byleth tended to his wounds when she was nine years old, i feel like miklan, at the time, suspected a trap. that byleth would patch him up and kick him into the dirt. miklan is a cynical person, he always has been, and i do think he wouldn't have trusted byleth if he were older.
since this story takes place during the pre-timeskip, i kind of imagine that miklan is around his mid-20's and byleth is 21. even though it's been over a decade since they first met, miklan is still not used to the mercenary life. he's used to raids, theft, murder. he isn't used to honor codes or protection. sure, he's a brilliant leader and he does care for his crew, but do they care about him?
that's the question i kind of wanted to answer in my other miklan/byleth fic.
someone to hate | orphjosrick
i posted chapter two of my orpheus/joseph/frederick fic, someone to hate. it's a slow burn, and i will admit, this chapter was a little slower than i'd like it to be. it explores more of how frederick feels about joseph, about how orpheus's behaviors are making frederick feel uncomfortable and replaced.
joseph, who i'm portraying as autistic (using my personal experiences and symptoms), is very observant. i imagine that frederick thinks that he might be too observant.
on the other hand, frederick can't blame himself for being captivated by joseph. in this fic, joseph is frederick's new housemate. orpheus suggested that joseph could fit in with frederick.
but it's later revealed that joseph and orpheus are collaborating together on orpheus's novel, identity v (yes, this is a little tongue-in-cheek easter egg). joseph takes photographs for the novel, while orpheus writes it.
frederick, a musician, isn't sure where he stands.
he's been orpheus's best friend for over two decades, and now it feels like the relationship is slipping. but is it?
i'm pretty happy with how chapter two turned out. and i'm also pretty excited about writing chapter three.
Meme Friday
Jan. 16th, 2026 12:03 amslippery_fishMeme from snickfic
Go to your Works page on AO3, look at the tags, and see what the answers to these questions are. (Or any other site that has tags)
1. What rating do you write most fics under?
General Audiences. I don't write sex scenes all that often and when I do, the are hardly ever explicit. Also, almost no explicit violence.
2. What are your top 3 fandoms?
Marvel, Buffy, The Social Network
3. What is your top character you write about?
Faith Lehane (Buffy)
4. What are the 3 top pairings?
Eduardo Saverin/Mark Zuckerberg (TSN)
Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers (Buffy)
Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, GQ Edwards/Waylon Jones, Bradley Bradshaw/Jake Seresin (MCU, DCEU, Top Gun)
There are a few & combinations that have more fics but I haven't put them in here for this meme.
5. What are the top 3 additional tags?
Triple Drabble
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Post-Canon
6. Did any of this surprise you? e.g. what turned out to be your top tag.
TSN still being in my top three fandoms kinda surprises me. That was a crazy phase for me and while I did write them for my drabble project, I didn't think that fandom would end up this high.
snickficGo to your Works page on AO3, look at the tags, and see what the answers to these questions are. (Or any other site that has tags)
1. What rating do you write most fics under?
General Audiences. I don't write sex scenes all that often and when I do, the are hardly ever explicit. Also, almost no explicit violence.
2. What are your top 3 fandoms?
Marvel, Buffy, The Social Network
3. What is your top character you write about?
Faith Lehane (Buffy)
4. What are the 3 top pairings?
Eduardo Saverin/Mark Zuckerberg (TSN)
Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers (Buffy)
Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, GQ Edwards/Waylon Jones, Bradley Bradshaw/Jake Seresin (MCU, DCEU, Top Gun)
There are a few & combinations that have more fics but I haven't put them in here for this meme.
5. What are the top 3 additional tags?
Triple Drabble
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Post-Canon
6. Did any of this surprise you? e.g. what turned out to be your top tag.
TSN still being in my top three fandoms kinda surprises me. That was a crazy phase for me and while I did write them for my drabble project, I didn't think that fandom would end up this high.
One Battle After Another – DORK TOWER 14.01.26
Jan. 15th, 2026 06:00 amdorktower_feed
Most DORK TOWER strips are now available as signed, high-quality prints, from just $25! CLICK HERE to find out more!
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The Friday Five for 16 January 2026
Jan. 15th, 2026 05:41 pmanais_pf posting in thefridayfiveThese questions were written by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
frieliegh.
1. If you could change one life-changing event in the life of someone important to you, would you?
2. Which do you think is easier to do, being friends for many years, or being life partners for many years?
3. Have you ever walked away from someone you considered a friend?
4. If you had to choose between telling the truth and hurting a friend or lying and making them happy, which would you choose?
5. Which would you rather hear--the truth which will hurt, or the comforting lie?
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!
frieliegh.1. If you could change one life-changing event in the life of someone important to you, would you?
2. Which do you think is easier to do, being friends for many years, or being life partners for many years?
3. Have you ever walked away from someone you considered a friend?
4. If you had to choose between telling the truth and hurting a friend or lying and making them happy, which would you choose?
5. Which would you rather hear--the truth which will hurt, or the comforting lie?
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!
Heated Rivalry supporting cast | 490 icons
Jan. 15th, 2026 05:12 pmsweeticedtea posting in dwrp_iconsCANON: Heated Rivalry
CHARACTERS: Scott Hunter, Kip Grady, Svetlana Vetrova, Rose Landry
ADDITIONAL INFO: Episodes 1 - 5
CREDIT TO:sweeticedtea
Scott & Kip & Svetlana & Rose @sweeticedtea
CHARACTERS: Scott Hunter, Kip Grady, Svetlana Vetrova, Rose Landry
ADDITIONAL INFO: Episodes 1 - 5
CREDIT TO:
sweeticedtea Scott & Kip & Svetlana & Rose @
sweeticedteaHeated Rivalry supporting cast | 490 icons
Jan. 15th, 2026 05:02 pmsweeticedtea posting in fandom_iconsHeated Rivalry supporting cast
(160) Scott Hunter
(160) Kip Grady
(85) Svetlana Vetrova
(85) Rose Landry
Scott & Kip & Svetlana & Rose @sweeticedtea
(160) Scott Hunter
(160) Kip Grady
(85) Svetlana Vetrova
(85) Rose Landry
Scott & Kip & Svetlana & Rose @
sweeticedteaFavourite Eleventh Doctor stories from Doctor Who
Jan. 15th, 2026 09:49 pmvivdunstanAs I'm currently working my way through rewatching Peter Capaldi's Twelfth Doctor stories, I thought I might afterwards those post about my favourites from his era. And since before him I rewatched the Eleventh Doctor I might as well do the same now for Matt Smith's era! Hopefully Jodie Whittaker's era will follow in due course.
So, Eleventh Doctor. I really like his old man in a young body characterisation. And he's very well performed. Fortunately also paired with strong companions throughout, and generally good writing.
In chronological order, here are some thoughts on some of my favourite stories from his era:
So, Eleventh Doctor. I really like his old man in a young body characterisation. And he's very well performed. Fortunately also paired with strong companions throughout, and generally good writing.
In chronological order, here are some thoughts on some of my favourite stories from his era:
- The Time of Angels / Flesh and Stone. The first time we see River with this incarnation, and the return of iconic monsters the Weeping Angels. This is a tight puzzle box of a two parter, with much to enjoy, and also mysteries only to be uncovered later on. It's also one of Amy's best stories. And remarkably, it was the very first story Matt Smith and Karen Gillan filmed.
- Vincent and the Doctor. I've studied art history at university. But am often rather immune to its qualities. I also don't resonate much with Van Gogh's work, Starry Night excepted. But this is a beautiful story of a troubled artist, briefly enlivened by a visit from the Doctor and Amy. And the visual effects as they look up at the night sky is quite magical.
- The Girl Who Waited. An acting tour de force from Karen Gillan, playing two versions of Amy, and a beautiful tale of love, longing, and survival. It's really special.
- Asylum of the Daleks. On the one hand this is a difficult watch, with the fractured relationship of Amy and Rory viscerally depicted. But it's also a thrilling piece of scifi. And seeing the surprise first appearance of Jenna Coleman's Clara was a jaw dropping moment.
- The Angels Take Manhattan. I like historical Who, and this is a powerful mix of 1930s New York, Weeping Angels, River, and Amy and Rory, in a story that will linger long in the mind. The music is also stunning.
- The Snowmen. A call back - or forward? - to another Doctor Who tale, this is a Christmassy gem, and another introduction for Clara. The story wanders a bit in the third quarter, but overall is a strong one for me. A mix of festive fun and moving pathos.
New year, new friends
Jan. 15th, 2026 04:27 pmdecemberthirty posting in addmeHello, all! I know I'm a little late to really consider this a new year's post, but here I am looking to meet a few new people nevertheless.
About me:
My name is Katie. I'm 47 years old, and this summer will mark my 25th year of journaling on LJ/DW/both.
I'm a writer by profession, primarily of literary fiction with occasional book reviews for variety. I live in Philadelphia with my partner of 27 years (she's a high school physics teacher). We have a pair of eight-month-old kittens named Oscar and Zorro. I'm the oldest of three sisters in a pretty close-knit family. My sisters have five kids between them, and being an aunt is basically my favorite thing.
I love books and am always reading. Favorite authors include E.M. Forster, Marilynne Robinson, Leo Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf, Ursula K. Le Guin, Lauren Groff, Andrea Barrett.... The list could go on and on. I also love the outdoors and learning about nature. I've been a birdwatcher for years; more recently I've gotten into things like butterflies and insects, reptiles, wildflowers, and more. In summer, my favorite thing is finding wild orchids. My partner and I like to travel, and when we do, I use it as an opportunity to learn about the amazing variety of nature in other places.
In case you haven't already guessed, I'm a very introverted person. I spend most of my time at home, where I keep myself busy writing, reading, or in the kitchen. I like cooking, baking, and food preservation, and I'm always working on some sort of kitchen project or trying to teach myself a new skill.
About my journal:
My journal began as a place for me to keep track of my reading, and that's still the subject I write about most often. Other frequent topics include the interests mentioned above: writing, nature, cooking and baking. I tend to post more about what I'm thinking than about what I'm doing at any given time, although I do sometimes use my journal to keep track goals or record projects that I'm working on. I often include photos. I would say I post about once a week...but realistically it's probably a bit less than that.
If you're looking for a friend who comments on every single post, I'm probably not the right person for you. I do like to interact and I always read my friends page, but I prefer to comment only when I have something worth saying. Also, I've found over the years that I don't mesh well with extremely prolific posters. Once a day is fine, but if it's more than that I have trouble keeping up.
My journal is friends-locked for privacy, but I will be happy to add anyone who's interested in checking it out. And I won't be offended if it turns out that it's not your style.
Say hello if you think we'd get along!
About me:
My name is Katie. I'm 47 years old, and this summer will mark my 25th year of journaling on LJ/DW/both.
I'm a writer by profession, primarily of literary fiction with occasional book reviews for variety. I live in Philadelphia with my partner of 27 years (she's a high school physics teacher). We have a pair of eight-month-old kittens named Oscar and Zorro. I'm the oldest of three sisters in a pretty close-knit family. My sisters have five kids between them, and being an aunt is basically my favorite thing.
I love books and am always reading. Favorite authors include E.M. Forster, Marilynne Robinson, Leo Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf, Ursula K. Le Guin, Lauren Groff, Andrea Barrett.... The list could go on and on. I also love the outdoors and learning about nature. I've been a birdwatcher for years; more recently I've gotten into things like butterflies and insects, reptiles, wildflowers, and more. In summer, my favorite thing is finding wild orchids. My partner and I like to travel, and when we do, I use it as an opportunity to learn about the amazing variety of nature in other places.
In case you haven't already guessed, I'm a very introverted person. I spend most of my time at home, where I keep myself busy writing, reading, or in the kitchen. I like cooking, baking, and food preservation, and I'm always working on some sort of kitchen project or trying to teach myself a new skill.
About my journal:
My journal began as a place for me to keep track of my reading, and that's still the subject I write about most often. Other frequent topics include the interests mentioned above: writing, nature, cooking and baking. I tend to post more about what I'm thinking than about what I'm doing at any given time, although I do sometimes use my journal to keep track goals or record projects that I'm working on. I often include photos. I would say I post about once a week...but realistically it's probably a bit less than that.
If you're looking for a friend who comments on every single post, I'm probably not the right person for you. I do like to interact and I always read my friends page, but I prefer to comment only when I have something worth saying. Also, I've found over the years that I don't mesh well with extremely prolific posters. Once a day is fine, but if it's more than that I have trouble keeping up.
My journal is friends-locked for privacy, but I will be happy to add anyone who's interested in checking it out. And I won't be offended if it turns out that it's not your style.
Say hello if you think we'd get along!
Well, the WHEA errors are increasing, I had better buy a new computer
Jan. 15th, 2026 03:14 pmdorchadasI'll just go check on part prices and-
SSD prices
Perhaps I should have bought a computer earlier.
(Still have to do it because I'm getting daily restarts now but boy, I should not have waited)
SSD prices
Perhaps I should have bought a computer earlier.
(Still have to do it because I'm getting daily restarts now but boy, I should not have waited)
Poetry Fishbowl Themes for Early 2026
Jan. 15th, 2026 02:42 pmysabetwordsmithThis poll covers the ideas proposed in the recent call for themes. Everyone is eligible to vote in this poll. I will keep it open until at least Friday night. If there are clear answers then, I'll close it. Otherwise I may leave it open a little longer. If you don't have a Dreamwidth account, you can vote in an anonymous comment or email to me, but include some kind of handle to distinguish yourself.
For this poll, you can vote for as many themes as you find appealing. I recommend that you don't vote for all of them, since that makes it harder to whittle down the list. The themes are arranged in alphabetical order.
Here are your options ...
( Read more... )
For this poll, you can vote for as many themes as you find appealing. I recommend that you don't vote for all of them, since that makes it harder to whittle down the list. The themes are arranged in alphabetical order.
Here are your options ...
( Read more... )
Wildlife
Jan. 15th, 2026 02:21 pmysabetwordsmithMonkeys With Smaller Testicles Scream Louder to Compensate
It's a "calls vs balls" tradeoff.
It’s a long-held belief that loudmouths overcompensate for something, but in the case of howler monkeys, science has confirmed it’s a biological fact. A landmark study by Dr. Jacob Dunn at Cambridge University, along with 2026 follow-up research, has established that monkeys who scream the loudest effectively “pay” for that volume with significantly smaller testes and lower sperm counts.
You gotta wonder if this applies to humans and some of their absurd behavior.
It's a "calls vs balls" tradeoff.
It’s a long-held belief that loudmouths overcompensate for something, but in the case of howler monkeys, science has confirmed it’s a biological fact. A landmark study by Dr. Jacob Dunn at Cambridge University, along with 2026 follow-up research, has established that monkeys who scream the loudest effectively “pay” for that volume with significantly smaller testes and lower sperm counts.
You gotta wonder if this applies to humans and some of their absurd behavior.
Wednesday What I'm...
Jan. 15th, 2026 03:21 pmreeby10On Thursday, whoops.
Reading
Reading
- I finished Clariel by Garth Nix. It was fine, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped. I was much more interested in the potential story a after the story than the one that was, you know, in the actual book. Oh well.
- Ficwise, I've been reading a lot of NutHong and JunDylan fics, with a sprinkling of other things including more Yuletide fics.
- The roommate and I finished Cherry Magic. It was great! Very sweet and I enjoyed TayNew and JuniorMark a lot. I did wish there was a bit more of the side pairing's relationship, but what we did get was good.
- The roommate and I started watching Ossan's Love. Even sillier than I expected, especially Earth's character! I was getting a bit of second hand embarrassment tbh, but I'll push through and hope that passes.
- The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of Goddess Bless You From Death. I feel a little like we're getting edged for shit really going down, but it's still great. I also was proved right for a theory I voiced in like the second episode, so very happy about that lol
- The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episodes of Me and Thee. So sweet! So funny! Still so sad it's almost over!
- The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of Burnout Syndrome. The drama with these characters is like watching a train wreck tbh lol
- The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episode of Melody of Secrets. Halfway through and I can confidently say I still don't know what's going on :)
- The roommate, best friend, and I watched the latest episodes of Dare You to Death. Things are definitely picking up! Like, wow, really picking up. I was not expecting them to kiss in the third episode, but here we are. Not that I'm complaining!
- The roommate, best friend, and I finished ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat. Loved it once again! The best friend did as well, which I'm very happy about. Made me more excited to see everyone's upcoming shows this year.
- The roommate, best friend, and I started watching 4 Minutes. I'm not sure what I expected from this series, but it's definitely a lot darker than I'd assumed it'd be. In some ways similar vibes to Dead Friend Forever, which I don't love, but I am liking it more than that so far. The allure of Bible is at least strong enough to get me through, especially since it's a shorter series.
- The roommate and I went to see Labyrinth in theaters for the 40th anniversary. It was so nice seeing it on the big screen for the first time! Love this movie.
- T-pop this week has been a lot of Perses after seeing them on Idol Energy. They've got a different vibe than what I'm used to, but I'm enjoying them.
- Caught up on some more Ouija Broads episodes.
- I wrote a fic for a Just the Tip flash exchange.
- I started writing an OhmLeng fic after waking up yesterday being suddenly very sad about them lol
- New category! Because I am trying to do more active learning of things this year and maybe this will be good incentive to keep that up.
- Did some more of Pimsleur's Thai. Still need to do more to see if I like it and it's working, but the second lesson was definitely easier than the first. To be fair, it's covered several words/phrases I already know, so we'll see if that continues as it goes on.
Neighborhood Poetry
Jan. 15th, 2026 02:06 pmysabetwordsmithsef1029 shared a picture of a tiny bulletin board for neighborhood poetry. This is the kind of thing that anyone could put up, a riff on the Little Free (whatever) concept. It would work just as well for any kind of creative writing that fits on one page, like nature writing or drabbles, as well as things like copies of a journal page with a sketch and description of local flora or fauna. No poem? No problem! Sponsors of my work get nonexclusive reprint rights. I'd be happy to write one-page poems for neighborhood use. See something of mine that you already like? Chip in, you're a cosponsor, you can pass around free copies.
Also keep an eye out for local poets in your area who might like to participate. Watch for bookstores, libraries, coffeehouses, etc. to host an open mike night, poetry reading, author signing, etc. where you can meet poets from your area. These also make good places to put up a poetry post, indoors or outdoors.
Of course, you could also look up classic poems in the public domain and use those.
jujutsu kaisen season 3 icons
Jan. 15th, 2026 08:10 pmmaerad posting in dwrp_iconsCANON: Jujutsu Kaisen
CHARACTERS: Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Okkotsu Yuta, Zen'in Maki, Choso
ADDITIONAL INFO: Plus various others from the named episodes
CREDIT TO:sonea or maerad
episode 1/2 here and episode 3 heresonea
CHARACTERS: Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Okkotsu Yuta, Zen'in Maki, Choso
ADDITIONAL INFO: Plus various others from the named episodes
CREDIT TO:
sonea or maerad episode 1/2 here and episode 3 here
soneawhen should an employer contest unemployment benefits?
Jan. 15th, 2026 06:59 pmaskamanager_feedA reader writes:
When should an employer contest an unemployment charge and when should they let it be? I’m an HR department of one, and the managers have me contest almost everything! It’s hard to explain to them when unemployment is supposed to get awarded (poor performance) and when it isn’t (gross misconduct).
Can you help to determine what it should look like? This past year, we had an unprecedented number of firings and it’s been a doozy.
Most of the time, employers should avoid contesting unemployment benefits unless something egregious happened. They definitely shouldn’t be doing it as a reflexive response to any unemployment filing.
First, the basic rules around unemployment benefits: in most states, if someone is fired for not performing well enough, they’re eligible to receive unemployment. If they’re fired for clear misconduct or significant rules violations (which includes things like chronic lateness or absenteeism, cussing out a customer, drinking at work, lying on a timesheet, etc.), they’re not. In overly simplified terms, the idea is that if someone was trying to do their job but just wasn’t good enough at it, they get benefits. If the firing was easily avoidable and their “fault,” they don’t. (You can argue with whether or not it should work this way, but regardless this is how it’s set up.)
Too often, employers view benefits eligibility through a punitive lens — “she shouldn’t get unemployment because she was a screw-up / didn’t try hard enough / messed up the X project / was a pain to manage.” But it’s generally not in companies’ best interests to approach it that way (even putting questions of basic humanity aside). Any employment lawyer will tell you that challenging unemployment makes it vastly more likely that a fired employee will end up suing the company (whether or not they have real cause). For example, say you’ve got someone who was fired and has wondered if their age/disability/pregnancy/whatever played a role but they’re weren’t planning to pursue it … but then you fight her unemployment, which comes across to most people as “they fired me and now they want me to starve and lose my house.” Now she’s bitter and angry, and she decides to talk to a lawyer after all. Even if you ultimately prevail, you’re going to have to spend time and money dealing with it.
In most states, employers pay into the unemployment system based in part on how many of their former employees end up collecting it, so they figure they have a financial incentive to keep those numbers down. But you can’t make that calculation without factoring in the above.
So at a minimum you should tell your managers that contesting unemployment is only for situations where there was gross misconduct, not just where someone wasn’t good enough at the work.
Also: what’s going on in your organization that’s causing an unprecedented number of firings? Maybe that’s legitimate and unavoidable, but are your managers making bad hires? Managing people badly? I’d dig in there as well.
The post when should an employer contest unemployment benefits? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
Birdfeeding
Jan. 15th, 2026 01:38 pmysabetwordsmithToday is mostly sunny and cold.
I fed the birds. I've seen a flock of sparrows and a starling.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I did some work around the yard.
I've seen a downy woodpecker drumming on a branch, and a pair of cardinals flying away.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I dumped out the cloverleaf pots and stacked them upside-down on the patio. Last year I tried growing wild strawberries in towers. This didn't work great because 1) the berries weren't very good, 2) the towers were difficult to water, and 3) they were prone to falling over. However, I learned some things so it wasn't a wasted effort. I'm not sure what I'll try next. Certainly I could plant better strawberries, either my wild ones or the pink-flowered Toscano that produced excellent berries last summer. Watering should be easier with a hose. Stability, hmm, I might try stakes or just spread them out.
.
I fed the birds. I've seen a flock of sparrows and a starling.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I did some work around the yard.
I've seen a downy woodpecker drumming on a branch, and a pair of cardinals flying away.
EDIT 1/15/26 -- I dumped out the cloverleaf pots and stacked them upside-down on the patio. Last year I tried growing wild strawberries in towers. This didn't work great because 1) the berries weren't very good, 2) the towers were difficult to water, and 3) they were prone to falling over. However, I learned some things so it wasn't a wasted effort. I'm not sure what I'll try next. Certainly I could plant better strawberries, either my wild ones or the pink-flowered Toscano that produced excellent berries last summer. Watering should be easier with a hose. Stability, hmm, I might try stakes or just spread them out.
.
and every demon wants his pound of flesh
Jan. 15th, 2026 02:14 pmmusesfoolI had a very long anxiety dream last night that involved trying to get home and failing repeatedly. First I told the driver I lived at my old address on the Upper East Side, then other people joined the ride and demanded to get dropped off before heading to Queens. The then driver bailed and a new set of passengers took over the driving and refused to exit the BQE to the LIE to get me home. Eventually I was dropped off on what appeared to be Hillside Avenue, which is not far from me in the waking world, but somehow in the dream the walk never brought me any closer. Ugh. I guess it was a new spin, since usually I'm trying to get to work in these dreams, but it felt like it lasted all night (I did sleep through for about 6 hours straight, so maybe it did).
Anyway, despite the ongoing trashfire, some cool stuff is coming:
- NEW SIX OF CROWS BOOK IN JUNE!!!! It's supposed to be the "private correspondence of Kaz Brekker with a mysterious person identified only as 'I.'" KAZ/INEJ EPISTOLARY STORY!??! I am seated and ready. Take my money, please!
- You probably already know this, but The Pitt was renewed for a third season last week.
- Pitchers and catchers report in less than 1 month. The Mets only got worse over the winter, so who knows what the hell is going to happen, but that is always a sign spring isn't too far away!
- The (NY football) Giants may be getting an actual factual head coach? I don't expect miracles but maybe they won't be embarrassing next season?
I feel like there were one or two other things I meant to post about but can't remember what they were. Oh, there's a new Fonda Lee novel coming, too! I do want to try out Matt Fraction's Batman at some point, and Cass's new book, but since I generally wait for the trade paperbacks (in ebook form anyway), they're not always top of mind. Still no release date for Alecto the Ninth (is it ever coming out?) and no kindle edition for DCC: Parade of Horribles but I keep checking!
*
Anyway, despite the ongoing trashfire, some cool stuff is coming:
- NEW SIX OF CROWS BOOK IN JUNE!!!! It's supposed to be the "private correspondence of Kaz Brekker with a mysterious person identified only as 'I.'" KAZ/INEJ EPISTOLARY STORY!??! I am seated and ready. Take my money, please!
- You probably already know this, but The Pitt was renewed for a third season last week.
- Pitchers and catchers report in less than 1 month. The Mets only got worse over the winter, so who knows what the hell is going to happen, but that is always a sign spring isn't too far away!
- The (NY football) Giants may be getting an actual factual head coach? I don't expect miracles but maybe they won't be embarrassing next season?
I feel like there were one or two other things I meant to post about but can't remember what they were. Oh, there's a new Fonda Lee novel coming, too! I do want to try out Matt Fraction's Batman at some point, and Cass's new book, but since I generally wait for the trade paperbacks (in ebook form anyway), they're not always top of mind. Still no release date for Alecto the Ninth (is it ever coming out?) and no kindle edition for DCC: Parade of Horribles but I keep checking!
*
updates: my husband doesn’t want anyone I work with to know we’re married, and more
Jan. 15th, 2026 05:29 pmaskamanager_feedHere are four updates from past letter-writers.
1. My husband doesn’t want anyone I work with to know we’re married
Thank you for publishing my letter — it was quite reassuring to read that this particular request from my husband was giving others pause as well.
There was a lot of speculation in the comments, which was quite amusing to read, and lots of excellent points being made too! I do want to add that my husband has always been very conscious about sharing “private” info, but to be clear — he’s never hidden the fact that he is a married (straight) man, but he won’t go around telling his coworkers my name or my employer. Like you said, this was more of a husband problem than a work problem.
As recommended, I had another sit down with my husband and explained again why the situation made me uncomfortable and how awkward this could be for Jeff, too.
I wish I could tell you that this fixed everything, but it didn’t. The argument actually got a little heated, and we could not get on the same page. This might sound unbelievable, but my man is generally emotionally intelligent (one of the many qualities I adore in him) and yet I could not get him to see things from mine or Jeff’s point of view. I can’t remember there ever being a subject between us where it was so hard to find common ground (and we’ve been a great team through far worse). Disappointing, sure, but it is what is.
I did let him know that I would not be crossing that line of lying — either implicitly (by omission) or explicitly — again with Jeff. He wasn’t happy about it, I wasn’t either, but at least it was clear where we both stood on the matter.
A few weeks after that, Jeff found out anyway (as I always assumed would happen at some point, it’s really hard to keep a mutual connection secret in this day and age!). Jeff asked me about it at a company event, and I kept it very matter-of-fact (“Yup, that’s my husband, he prefers to keep that info private, kinda weird but oh well”) and that was … it? Jeff made no fuss about it, so if he thought it was weird, he kept it to himself. Jeff hasn’t brought it up with my husband either. My husband knows the cat’s out of the bag because I told him, and he got a little huffy at first, then dropped it.
I see Jeff weekly at tennis now, and all is well. I’m a bit more mindful than usual about the things I share but we have plenty of other common interests to talk about so my husband doesn’t really come up as a topic of conversation.
Not the most exciting of updates, sometimes you’re just going to clash with your person.
2. Why does job-searching feel like actual torture?
I wrote in earlier this year about being unhappy in my job but feeling unable to make myself search for a different one. Well, I now have a new job!
I really lucked out because a role opened up at my company in a department I’ve worked with the entire time I have been here. I immediately talked to the decision-makers for that department and accepted the job a few weeks later after the role was reworked specifically for me (!). I’ve been slowly transitioning from the old job to the new one over the past couple months and officially transferred a couple weeks ago. It’s a step down in pay but still a comfortable wage for me, and I’m SO much happier with the work and the team … plus I don’t have to change any of my benefits, learn a new office culture, or kiss my unvested retirement funds goodbye!
This situation made me realize how much anxiety was affecting me and how much extra anxiety my previous job was creating. I knew I had anxiety, but I didn’t realize the full effect until I started feeling like I was on the brink of a panic attack one day at work, which was a new experience. I’ve been on an antidepressant for several years, but after that day, I went to my doctor and added an anti-anxiety medication, which has been incredibly helpful. It’s made a huge difference at work and basically every other part of my life (imagine that)!
My plan now is to stay in my new role for at least three years. I think it’s likely that having this job on my resume will open a lot more doors for me next time I end up job-searching, both because of the skills I’m developing and because it will make sense to employers that I’m applying for jobs that I previously wouldn’t have looked as qualified for. I’m also hopeful that better management of my anxiety will make job-searching feel more doable in the future.
Thank you again for answering my letter!
3. How do I apply for a job internally without my boss knowing?
I did apply to the internal job. I read my employee handbook and it said I need to let my manager know, so I did that and then let the hiring manager know I had applied.
While I tried to play it cool, I pinned a lot of hopes on this new position. Just a couple weeks later, guess what happened? A partner org outside my company contacted me (I do a lot of answering outside partner questions as part of my role) to ask about being put in touch with new hire Samantha. Samantha? Who was that and what role did she get? My dream role, that’s what she got.
I was in shock. I was so upset not only that I didn’t get the job but that this is how I found out. No notice from the hiring manager, who I spoke to on a regular basis, not even a form email from HR. As I sat there in shock, who came around the corner? Samantha herself, being given the tour of the office. It took all my strength to smile and welcome her — it wasn’t her fault, of course.
The most upsetting thing about all this was that the hiring manager, who I thought I had rapport with, never once mentioned this to me. She never again brought up the role or our conversation about it. It was hurtful, not gonna lie.
My own manager had my back and even though I was trying to leave her team, she was furious on my behalf!
While there are good things about working where I do, clearly my workplace has its issues. I’m contemplating what to do from here.
4. How do I give 360 feedback to my clueless coworker?
Thank you for the advice! I did end up consulting Bob’s boss with similar language to what you suggested and additionally noting that the 360 review was adding stress during a busy period. His boss looked at me and said, “He’s leaving for grad school in three months anyway, so don’t worry about it.” So, I didn’t end up saying anything in his review, and I helped hire and onboard his replacement, who is much better.
The post updates: my husband doesn’t want anyone I work with to know we’re married, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
Constitutional rights - Red Cards
Jan. 15th, 2026 12:16 pmotter posting in thisfinecrewThese cards can be ordered or printed on you own. They provide a summary of constitutional rights and a brief script to follow if/when needed.
You have constitutional rights:
• DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR if an immigration agent is
knocking on the door.
• DO NOT ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS from an
immigration agent if they try to talk to you. You have the
right to remain silent.
• DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING without first speaking to a
lawyer. You have the right to speak with a lawyer.
• If you are outside of your home, ask the agent if you are
free to leave and if they say yes, leave calmly.
• GIVE THIS CARD TO THE AGENT. If you are inside of
your home, show the card through the window or slide it
under the door.
I do not wish to speak with you, answer your questions,
or sign or hand you any documents based on my 5th
Amendment rights under the United States Constitution.
I do not give you permission to enter my home based
on my 4th Amendment rights under the United States
Constitution unless you have a warrant to enter, signed
by a judge or magistrate with my name on it that you slide
under the door.
I do not give you permission to search any of my
belongings based on my 4th Amendment rights.
I choose to exercise my constitutional rights.
These cards are available to citizens and noncitizens alike
https://www.ilrc.org/redcards#print
You have constitutional rights:
• DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR if an immigration agent is
knocking on the door.
• DO NOT ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS from an
immigration agent if they try to talk to you. You have the
right to remain silent.
• DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING without first speaking to a
lawyer. You have the right to speak with a lawyer.
• If you are outside of your home, ask the agent if you are
free to leave and if they say yes, leave calmly.
• GIVE THIS CARD TO THE AGENT. If you are inside of
your home, show the card through the window or slide it
under the door.
I do not wish to speak with you, answer your questions,
or sign or hand you any documents based on my 5th
Amendment rights under the United States Constitution.
I do not give you permission to enter my home based
on my 4th Amendment rights under the United States
Constitution unless you have a warrant to enter, signed
by a judge or magistrate with my name on it that you slide
under the door.
I do not give you permission to search any of my
belongings based on my 4th Amendment rights.
I choose to exercise my constitutional rights.
These cards are available to citizens and noncitizens alike
https://www.ilrc.org/redcards#print
Snowflake Challenge 8: Creative Process
Jan. 15th, 2026 11:51 amysabetwordsmithSnowflake Challenge 8: Creative Process
Talk about your creative process.
This challenge looks at what goes on behind the scenes to produce all the wonderful fannish contents that come to be in the world. By ‘create’ we don’t just mean fic or art or videos -- there’s a process behind every blog post, comment or any other kind of fannish engagement. We’re all creators -- and every creator loves to know about other peoples'.
I write fanfic "derive in, extrapolate out." This means I look for something in the canon that could use more explanation, think about how it could have gotten that way, then consider how that could influence further stories.
My biggest fanseries is Love Is For children (The Avengers). Several of these entries dig into the backstory of the characters, starting with a scene in canon that shows something already developed which must have had a way to get started but that part is never mentioned. So I used the character as known, and the context, to build something that would logically fit into that gap.
In the first Iron Man movie, we see Tony Stark build the Mark I suit in a cave, with a box of scraps. Specifically, we see him swinging a hammer, like Hephaestus at his forge. Now blacksmithing is one of those things that cannot be learned entirely from a book. It requires muscles and muscle memory; you actually have to do the work, a lot, over a long time. If you want to learn efficiently and also not set yourself on fire too much, it also requires a master blacksmith to teach you the tools and techniques. But the movie says nothing about how or where or when Tony learned any of that; it shows the end result of a mastersmith building a supergizmo out of junk.
I wrote "What Little Boys Are Made Of" to fill in that part of Tony's backstory. The earliest sections describe, also inspired by canon, examples of Tony's relationship with his father and Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Then it covers college, Tony's boredom because it's too easy, and his continuing efforts to get Howard's attention. The real key comes when Tony revisits Museum Village in Monroe, New York. There he meets a blacksmith and hits on the idea of working as an apprentice for the summer. And the rest is history.
Consider the Six Layers from Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud. With fanwriting, a creator necessarily starts at the surface of the canon element, in this case a movie. "Derive in" means picking a point on the surface, then delving underneath into the structure which supports it, and often consulting the idiom. To create something new requires an idea, which is the first or core layer. From there, "extrapolate out" simply works back up to the surface again.
There in a nutshell is the process for most of my fanwriting. It works equally well with all sizes and media. I use some other methods, but I usually pair them with this one.
Talk about your creative process.
This challenge looks at what goes on behind the scenes to produce all the wonderful fannish contents that come to be in the world. By ‘create’ we don’t just mean fic or art or videos -- there’s a process behind every blog post, comment or any other kind of fannish engagement. We’re all creators -- and every creator loves to know about other peoples'.
I write fanfic "derive in, extrapolate out." This means I look for something in the canon that could use more explanation, think about how it could have gotten that way, then consider how that could influence further stories.
My biggest fanseries is Love Is For children (The Avengers). Several of these entries dig into the backstory of the characters, starting with a scene in canon that shows something already developed which must have had a way to get started but that part is never mentioned. So I used the character as known, and the context, to build something that would logically fit into that gap.
In the first Iron Man movie, we see Tony Stark build the Mark I suit in a cave, with a box of scraps. Specifically, we see him swinging a hammer, like Hephaestus at his forge. Now blacksmithing is one of those things that cannot be learned entirely from a book. It requires muscles and muscle memory; you actually have to do the work, a lot, over a long time. If you want to learn efficiently and also not set yourself on fire too much, it also requires a master blacksmith to teach you the tools and techniques. But the movie says nothing about how or where or when Tony learned any of that; it shows the end result of a mastersmith building a supergizmo out of junk.
I wrote "What Little Boys Are Made Of" to fill in that part of Tony's backstory. The earliest sections describe, also inspired by canon, examples of Tony's relationship with his father and Howard Stark's A+ parenting. Then it covers college, Tony's boredom because it's too easy, and his continuing efforts to get Howard's attention. The real key comes when Tony revisits Museum Village in Monroe, New York. There he meets a blacksmith and hits on the idea of working as an apprentice for the summer. And the rest is history.
Consider the Six Layers from Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud. With fanwriting, a creator necessarily starts at the surface of the canon element, in this case a movie. "Derive in" means picking a point on the surface, then delving underneath into the structure which supports it, and often consulting the idiom. To create something new requires an idea, which is the first or core layer. From there, "extrapolate out" simply works back up to the surface again.
There in a nutshell is the process for most of my fanwriting. It works equally well with all sizes and media. I use some other methods, but I usually pair them with this one.