Encounters
Oct. 9th, 2018 08:57 pmLast year, Ada Lovelace day was unbearable. A year on, it's still painful, but it's often productive to write DW posts about things I find difficult. You see, in October 2016, I was a woman-in-STEM being celebrated. As of thirteen months ago I'm a woman-who-quit-STEM, I'm the outcome that Ada Lovelace day is supposed to prevent. I still haven't posted about it publicly, and I think I have about half a dozen posts in me, though I don't want to be that cliché always droning on about Why I Quit Academia. I'm going to make a start, though, because I think I do have something to say.
( ex scientist )
I think it's mostly bad luck that I'm sitting here feeling sad about Ada Lovelace day. But it's also a very specific shape of bad luck that women are much more prone to than men. And I'll probably never be sure, if I'd somehow done gender differently, could I have achieved launch velocity? As it is, I don't get to be a role model to girls who want to be scientists, because I didn't make it. I'm what everybody is cheerfully trying to avoid, and that hurts.
( ex scientist )
I think it's mostly bad luck that I'm sitting here feeling sad about Ada Lovelace day. But it's also a very specific shape of bad luck that women are much more prone to than men. And I'll probably never be sure, if I'd somehow done gender differently, could I have achieved launch velocity? As it is, I don't get to be a role model to girls who want to be scientists, because I didn't make it. I'm what everybody is cheerfully trying to avoid, and that hurts.
