Livre d'Or

That's something I'd forgotten, thanks for reminding me. Talking about emotionally fraught topics or even just opening up about things that are usually private can definitely be a hard thing to do. So non-communication might happen because talking is too difficult, not because of putting a low value on it.

I think the help and advice versus listening sympathetically thing is an aspect of communication style. It is really important to establish which a person prefers, whether that's a general personality thing or case by case. Misunderstandings about that issue are a big subset of upsetting misunderstandings, IME, though you could regard that as meta-communication problems, I suppose.

For me, if I tell a partner or close friend that I'm upset, I'm quite happy for them to suggest what I can do about the problem. It's still communication in which I have expressed my feelings and my dear one has listened. Where I get upset is if I get no (meaningful) reaction at all, or if I feel the person is not telling me things that it is important for me to know.