Livre d'Or

I am not at all surprised to hear that money is the major factor, because it's really hard to compromise on, and affects so much of your life. I think at the moment, most of our peers don't really have any money to speak of anyway, so they can deal with a partner who has a different attitude to them. But in our culture, most people who get married do so at about the point in life when they have a mortgage and some level of financial status, and these issues must take on a greater importance at that stage. Typically, though not universally, marriages (as opposed to boyfriend-girlfriend relationships) have a fair amount of financial interdependence, too.

So if a partner is careless with money, and it's just their money and doesn't have much effect on you, that's one thing. But if they are careless with money and you're scared that you're going to lose the roof over your heads, or you're watching your life-savings diminish because your partner keeps buying expensive toys, then it almost can't help being a big issue. Equally if your partner is really mean and won't "let" you buy the things you want, that brings in a whole bunch of issues about control. When there are children in the picture I imagine it must exacerbate things; everyone wants the best for their kids, and that's a strong emotional drive. But is the best buying them lots of toys and everything they want, or is the best making sure they have financial security in the long term?

Not having enough money, what ever enough is, is really stressful. And it seems really likely that stress would affect relationships, especially if there are seriously conflicting ideas about what to do about the financial shortfall.

Good point about communication being valuable in itself, as well as being about the content of what you communicate. For some people, physical touch plays that sort of role, but I think it can often be a major factor just that you are interested and want to talk and listen.