Livre d'Or

I also can't telepathically interpret nou for you, but I think this interpretation is slightly skew. I think it is somewhat true that men in the feminist world have some negative assumptions to overcome, and it's somewhat fair to be upset about this. However, the whole point of feminism is to deal with massive negative assumptions against women in most areas of society, not to make men feel more comfortable and valued!

Also, it's not at all true that men, who are respected in their own field and generally intelligent and so on, but not particularly well-informed about feminism, are naturally objective and scientific, and it's not true that women who are experts in feminism just want to be victims and care about ideology more than empirical facts. Some feminists may be stupid and ill-informed and overly ideological, but that doesn't mean feminism as a whole is flawed. Their criticisms of feminism are not reasonable or correct, but based on hidden sexist assumptions that they're not aware of.

The privilege and surprise thing is about expectations and lack of empathy, I think. It's not the natural order of the world that middle aged, middle class white men should always be taken seriously and everybody else should have to prove themselves impeccable in every way in order to get any positive acknowledgement at all. But if all their experience is in a world where this is the case, they may have a hard time imagining what it's like not to be top dog. They might not even know that their experience isn't universal (or that they themselves are holding women as a group to a higher standard than men as a group). Hence, the mild bias of some feminists against men is very visible to them, because it affects them negatively, whereas the huge bias of sexists against women isn't visible to them so they assume it isn't important.