Power imbalances and the internet
Apr. 15th, 2009 12:34 pmThis is tangentially about both RaceFail and AmazonFail, but only in that they're both examples of the phenomenon I want to talk about. And I'm not drawing any direct comparisons between the two incidents.
Let's take a sequence of events: Somebody is Wrong on the internet. And not just Wrong about, you know, gun control or abortion or whether to vote Democrat or Republican (or whether the rest of the world outside the USA actually exists as anything more than a fable or source of rhetorical ammunition) but displaying bigotry against some minority group. Because the internet is inherently a public medium, people who belong to the minority group are going to notice, and are quite likely to express their hurt feelings. What happens now?
People don't like being criticized in public, especially when it's something that touches an important part of their self-image. A bigot is a bad person in most people's understanding these days, so it's hard to hear "this action or comment has bigotry-promoting consequences" without hearing "you're an evil bigot!" So the accused person is very likely to get defensive. In scrabbling to find reasons why the accusation can't possibly be true (because I'm a good person!), they're likely to cause more harm. For example, they may accuse the minority group of being over-sensitive or stupid, or claim that bigotry is a thing of the past. If the targeted minority was hurt before, being called stupid or told that their experiences of discrimination don't really matter to real people is likely to make them incensed. Because the internet is the internet, they'll deal with this by complaining to all their friends. The friends will rush to support the target and try to make the originally accused person see reason. Inevitably, the accused person will also get support from their friends, and the more tempers run high the more random second-degree connections and eventually total strangers will start following links and everything will get amplified and messy. (I very much like
cartesiandaemon's comment on outrage:
Once things get horrible in public, people who don't really know the original facts will conclude that the whole thing's just a pointless flamewar, and that both sides are equally at fault. The people who are complaining about bigotry get accused of dogpiling, of ganging up, of being too angry and aggressive. And because emotions are already running high, you hear the rhetoric of violence, talking about mobs or lynching or angry hordes.
I think what really drove this home to me is that some people are taking this line regarding the AmazonFail story; the people who twittered about it and got large groups of people shouting about how Amazon is homophobic and they're going to stop buying from Amazon until there's a proper apology are being classified as an angry mob, getting carried away by the crowd dynamics, rushing too quickly to violence before they know all the facts... Waitaminute! Deciding to buy books from Barnes and Noble instead of Amazon because you don't like Amazon's homophobic policies is not violence. It's not even a little tiny bit like violence. Googlebombing is not bombing. A commercial boycott is neither social shunning nor, most certainly not, declaring war! And this is Amazon, this isn't even an individual person who meant well but said the wrong thing in an internet discussion and ended up getting their feelings hurt and understandably their friends want to take their side.
Part of it is an instinct to go against whatever the crowd is doing; if everybody is angry with Amazon, it's natural to want to defend Amazon, to feel like a balanced person who sees both sides of the argument. But realistically, Amazon is not the underdog here. Straight, gender normative, able bodied individuals are not the underdog here. (Some of the worst of this is in the Making Light post on the subject, and again understandably, the mods are not very happy about the comparison to RaceFail. Which is why I'm taking this here rather than trying to comment in that thread.)
The other thing I want to talk about is the asymmetry. On a very crude level, it means something different when a white person calls a black person stupid, from when a black person calls a white person stupid. A white-only club is a very different thing from a club for an ethnic minority group to get together and provide mutual support. But there's another aspect to this. There are some techniques which the powerful use against outsiders, such as shunning and social exclusion, such as getting a big group together to gang up on one individual, such as shouting and aggressive mannerisms, and so on. That's definitely bullying, and since many people who make their social life on the internet were bullied as kids they're very sensitive to it. But when a group of hurt people get together and decide that they don't want to socialize with someone who keeps hurting them, that's not the same as social exclusion. When people get support from their friends in order to defend themselves against bigotry, that's not the same as ganging up or piling on. When a member of a minority gets angry about being constantly mistreated based on a superficial characteristic, that's not the same as a powerful person yelling at someone in a subservient position in order to intimidate them. Refusing to do business with someone because you don't like their skin colour is not the same kind of action as refusing to give your money to a business that discriminates.
Equally, some of the dynamic I'm seeing is that people with power are adopting some of the tactics used by discriminated groups to try to lessen discrimination. For example, suing institutions for discrimination against white people or men if they have policies to try to support POC or women. Accusing people of intolerance when they complain about bigotry. Again, complaining about homophobes is not at all equivalent to discriminating against gay people!
There's another aspect which is a bit harder to define. Often, part of unconscious prejudice against minority groups is that the same reaction is perceived as being more aggressive than coming from a higher status person. This is partly because of direct stereotypes about the group (eg "black people are violent and animalistic"), and partly because groups that experience discrimination often learn to be extremely polite, deferential and conciliating and any deviation from that is perceived as threatening (eg a woman who complains about sexism instead of trying to adapt to it is "a man-hating feminazi"). It's also partly because people are quite naturally more inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to people like them, and if people like you happen to run society, then they get a whole bunch of automatic credibility on top of that. Also, it's a big problem when a group that is generally not subjected to violence uses the rhetoric of violence to dismiss the complaints of a group who do fear actual, literal violence.
In the probably vain hope of forestalling annoying responses to this, I want to point out that I am NOT saying that anything that a person from a discriminated background ever does is right, or that anyone who shares characteristics with the people who generally wield social power is automatically in the wrong. I'm saying that I've seen a lot of dynamics where an argument between powerful people who are behaving in a bigoted way, and vulnerable people who are complaining about that bigotry is perceived as "both sides are just as bad as eachother". Or when both sides do in fact behave badly, the less than perfect behaviour of one or two representatives of the minority is treated much more seriously than all the bigotry which led to the situation in the first place.
In conclusion: calling someone a homophobe is really not equivalent to calling someone a f*ggot. Calling someone a racist is really not equivalent to using a racial slur.
Let's take a sequence of events: Somebody is Wrong on the internet. And not just Wrong about, you know, gun control or abortion or whether to vote Democrat or Republican (or whether the rest of the world outside the USA actually exists as anything more than a fable or source of rhetorical ammunition) but displaying bigotry against some minority group. Because the internet is inherently a public medium, people who belong to the minority group are going to notice, and are quite likely to express their hurt feelings. What happens now?
People don't like being criticized in public, especially when it's something that touches an important part of their self-image. A bigot is a bad person in most people's understanding these days, so it's hard to hear "this action or comment has bigotry-promoting consequences" without hearing "you're an evil bigot!" So the accused person is very likely to get defensive. In scrabbling to find reasons why the accusation can't possibly be true (because I'm a good person!), they're likely to cause more harm. For example, they may accuse the minority group of being over-sensitive or stupid, or claim that bigotry is a thing of the past. If the targeted minority was hurt before, being called stupid or told that their experiences of discrimination don't really matter to real people is likely to make them incensed. Because the internet is the internet, they'll deal with this by complaining to all their friends. The friends will rush to support the target and try to make the originally accused person see reason. Inevitably, the accused person will also get support from their friends, and the more tempers run high the more random second-degree connections and eventually total strangers will start following links and everything will get amplified and messy. (I very much like
if I'm a little bit outraged, it might either look like (a) I think amazon were only a little bit culpable or (b) I only care about discrimination a little bit.)
Once things get horrible in public, people who don't really know the original facts will conclude that the whole thing's just a pointless flamewar, and that both sides are equally at fault. The people who are complaining about bigotry get accused of dogpiling, of ganging up, of being too angry and aggressive. And because emotions are already running high, you hear the rhetoric of violence, talking about mobs or lynching or angry hordes.
I think what really drove this home to me is that some people are taking this line regarding the AmazonFail story; the people who twittered about it and got large groups of people shouting about how Amazon is homophobic and they're going to stop buying from Amazon until there's a proper apology are being classified as an angry mob, getting carried away by the crowd dynamics, rushing too quickly to violence before they know all the facts... Waitaminute! Deciding to buy books from Barnes and Noble instead of Amazon because you don't like Amazon's homophobic policies is not violence. It's not even a little tiny bit like violence. Googlebombing is not bombing. A commercial boycott is neither social shunning nor, most certainly not, declaring war! And this is Amazon, this isn't even an individual person who meant well but said the wrong thing in an internet discussion and ended up getting their feelings hurt and understandably their friends want to take their side.
Part of it is an instinct to go against whatever the crowd is doing; if everybody is angry with Amazon, it's natural to want to defend Amazon, to feel like a balanced person who sees both sides of the argument. But realistically, Amazon is not the underdog here. Straight, gender normative, able bodied individuals are not the underdog here. (Some of the worst of this is in the Making Light post on the subject, and again understandably, the mods are not very happy about the comparison to RaceFail. Which is why I'm taking this here rather than trying to comment in that thread.)
The other thing I want to talk about is the asymmetry. On a very crude level, it means something different when a white person calls a black person stupid, from when a black person calls a white person stupid. A white-only club is a very different thing from a club for an ethnic minority group to get together and provide mutual support. But there's another aspect to this. There are some techniques which the powerful use against outsiders, such as shunning and social exclusion, such as getting a big group together to gang up on one individual, such as shouting and aggressive mannerisms, and so on. That's definitely bullying, and since many people who make their social life on the internet were bullied as kids they're very sensitive to it. But when a group of hurt people get together and decide that they don't want to socialize with someone who keeps hurting them, that's not the same as social exclusion. When people get support from their friends in order to defend themselves against bigotry, that's not the same as ganging up or piling on. When a member of a minority gets angry about being constantly mistreated based on a superficial characteristic, that's not the same as a powerful person yelling at someone in a subservient position in order to intimidate them. Refusing to do business with someone because you don't like their skin colour is not the same kind of action as refusing to give your money to a business that discriminates.
Equally, some of the dynamic I'm seeing is that people with power are adopting some of the tactics used by discriminated groups to try to lessen discrimination. For example, suing institutions for discrimination against white people or men if they have policies to try to support POC or women. Accusing people of intolerance when they complain about bigotry. Again, complaining about homophobes is not at all equivalent to discriminating against gay people!
There's another aspect which is a bit harder to define. Often, part of unconscious prejudice against minority groups is that the same reaction is perceived as being more aggressive than coming from a higher status person. This is partly because of direct stereotypes about the group (eg "black people are violent and animalistic"), and partly because groups that experience discrimination often learn to be extremely polite, deferential and conciliating and any deviation from that is perceived as threatening (eg a woman who complains about sexism instead of trying to adapt to it is "a man-hating feminazi"). It's also partly because people are quite naturally more inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to people like them, and if people like you happen to run society, then they get a whole bunch of automatic credibility on top of that. Also, it's a big problem when a group that is generally not subjected to violence uses the rhetoric of violence to dismiss the complaints of a group who do fear actual, literal violence.
In the probably vain hope of forestalling annoying responses to this, I want to point out that I am NOT saying that anything that a person from a discriminated background ever does is right, or that anyone who shares characteristics with the people who generally wield social power is automatically in the wrong. I'm saying that I've seen a lot of dynamics where an argument between powerful people who are behaving in a bigoted way, and vulnerable people who are complaining about that bigotry is perceived as "both sides are just as bad as eachother". Or when both sides do in fact behave badly, the less than perfect behaviour of one or two representatives of the minority is treated much more seriously than all the bigotry which led to the situation in the first place.
In conclusion: calling someone a homophobe is really not equivalent to calling someone a f*ggot. Calling someone a racist is really not equivalent to using a racial slur.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 11:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 11:51 am (UTC)Might I be permitted to raise a point related to the Amazon fiasco, but only tangentially to what you've said here? I have seen quite a number of comments to the effect that Amazon had no business to filter what, for want of a better phrase, are termed "adult books" out of their search listings in the first place. With everyone getting so indignant about gay fiction, which I suspect is no more likely to be pornographic than mainstream fiction, there seems to be a move in favour of the idea that Amazon should throw the baby out with the bathwater and abandon filtering altogether. I think this would be a very grave mistake.
I've seen people argue that porn filters are all about protecting children, implying that there could be no other use for them. Not so. Obviously I wouldn't want children to see porn, but this kind of attitude completely ignores the fact that many adults are offended by it because it turns people into objects. That is certainly what I have against it. I once saw a shop window where the dummies seemed to be remarkably lifelike; a closer look revealed that this was because they were, in fact, real people, all adopting the awkward poses that one expects of display models. I found this creepy, embarrassing and somehow offensive, and it was only much later that I realised that I was experiencing exactly the same feelings as I would about porn, even though all the models were perfectly decently dressed. The feelings are similar because the process is similar: the personality behind the face I'm seeing is being totally negated by the situation in which the face finds itself.
Now, obviously, none of that alters the fact that Amazon fouled up over the weekend. (For the record, I am not interested in gay fiction, but neither would I be even remotely offended if it turned up in a search listing, as long as it was not also pornographic - and, as I said above, in most cases it probably won't be.) But I do hope that in putting right their mistake, they will not overreach themselves in their enthusiasm and remove all the filters. I think that would be just as retrograde a move as the one they originally made.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 12:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 12:22 pm (UTC)I do find a lot of porn offensive for the reasons you outline. But then I find anti-semitic books and books about how Jesus can cure your child of being gay pretty offensive too. I'd still rather Amazon sold them than not; after all, everybody has different ideas of what constitutes offensive. One of the great strengths of Amazon is the long tail effect, they can sell millions of books that I wouldn't touch if they were the only reading matter in my jail cell, while providing me with books that some of their other customers might hate just as much.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 12:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 12:36 pm (UTC)Although a great screaming and wailing (no matter how justified) also fails to answer the questions "exactly what happened, exactly why did it happen and how do we fix it?". Sometimes I am irritated by people shouting not because I think they should not be shouting but because I want to hear some specific thing. Hopefully Amazon (whether or not they are going to actually tell everyone) has answers to those questions, they seem to have set about fixing it. But an apology would be good to, they have a PR disaster here as well as a technical fuckup (or a moral fuckup but I don't think that there was ever any intention to do this).
The was somewhere a nice video (of course I can't find it, I suck) making clear the difference between "what you did" and "who you are". You can clearly *do bigoted things* without *being a bigot* (you can do bigoted things entirely by accident) - but I think that too few people clearly recognise that, and people are often too quick to say "but I'm not a bigot" (and jump to "and thus my action could not possibly have been bigoted" rather than examining whether their actual action was a bigoted action (I am starting to think that word does not look like an English word now).
Also there is the common problem that a lot of bigoted actions are actually not *individually* all that bad, the problem is that they are repeated *so many times*. Being called "stupid" by one person is not a big bother, being called "stupid" by everyone *is* a big bother. And I think that a lot of people who don't suffer from bigotry fail to understand just how awful it is to repeatedly suffer from such "small" problems (because as privileged people they only encounter such problems once-in-a-while and can brush them off as "only small"). This also has the failure mode of people talking in generalities "all these bigoted actions" facing people who demand *specifics* and then being yelled at because each individual specific-thing is "small" (because the problem is not the individual thing, it is the *pattern* of things).
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 12:38 pm (UTC)You divide the groups into "more powerful" and "more discriminated against". You suggest that statements by members of these groups cannot be viewed equally because of the surrounding power disbalance. You say more allowances should be made when judging behaviour of the discriminated against groups. (Presumably the aim is to eventually achieve fairness and even power balance.) This makes sense.
Effectively your argument means we need to quantify - how powerful? How discriminated against?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 01:00 pm (UTC)I do not mean this in a flippant way, of course many people do find porn offensive and I respect their response. Personally I find porn more visually striking more than adverts for lipstick just because I am less used to it and I did not see it as a child. I would say I find porn less offensive than lipstick adverts though, because I perceive it to be less about exploitation and pressure to conform.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 01:14 pm (UTC)For the Amazon thing specifically, I agree it was much more likely to have been a technical problem exacerbated by bad PR, than actual deliberate homophobia. And I agree that they really ought to apologize; the problem here is (thankfully a minority of) comments saying, oh, why are you being so mean to Amazon, it was a simple technical mistake. People shouldn't be shouting at Amazon, they're being too judgemental and hasty. That kind of thing.
I'm not sure that trying to force the distinction between person and action works very well. Partly because it turns into a tone argument: if you'd only phrase it more nicely when you accuse me of doing racist things, while carefully assuring me that you know I'm a decent person and I didn't really mean it, then I might just possibly condescend to make a tiny bit of effort to be less racist. And partly because it just doesn't work psychologically. It's like when Christians talk about "hating the sin but loving the sinner"; people just don't feel loved when being lectured about how evil and sinful their lifestyle is.
I think your last paragraph is spot on, though. I've noted before that it can be difficult to speak out about discrimination, because either it's such a "minor" incident that you're making too much fuss, or it's so extreme that only a complete sociopath would ever behave like that. Very, very good point about a particular incidence of discrimination being more hurtful and dangerous because it's part of a pattern.
(Sorry about bigoted; I want a general term so I didn't have to keep saying "sexist, racist, homophobic, ableist etc etc". I know it makes my argument sound weaker if I talk in vague generalities, though.)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 01:22 pm (UTC)Hmmm, you have a point about the tone. And of course some people seem to think that there is simply *no* right tone in which to say "dude, you FAILED there; say sorry". But I think it would be good if as one step in getting people to FAIL less they could be convinced that admitting to one incident and saying sorry doesn't mean that they are the most horrid, awful person evar. Of course I dunno how to convince people that.
Bigoted is a fine word, and the right one. It's just that if I write it out that often it looks silly. (all words do this IME)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 01:26 pm (UTC)I'm not really saying that you should "make allowances" for the behaviour of someone complaining against discrimination. I am saying that behaviour is actually different, depending whether you're reacting against someone who is putting you down, or doing the putting down yourself. Getting together with all your friends and saying "We're not going to buy Amazon's books any more until they apologize for being homophobic" is not the same thing as getting together with all your friends and agreeing not to buy any books by gay people because you think they're icky. Yelling at someone "how dare you use that racist language?!" is not the same thing as yelling at someone you have power over "shut up, you incompetent fool!" It's not that you should judge people less harshly because their life is hard, it's that you should realize that the superficially similar behaviours are actually different depending on the power balance between the people engaging in them.
I don't know if the aim is to , exactly. There are always going to be power differences. And while fairness may be the long term aim, the immediate aim is to make sure that you don't contribute to discrimination by supporting the powerful in their argument against the vulnerable.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 01:39 pm (UTC)But search filtering is still needed, mainly on grounds of relevance. If you're looking for cookbooks, you want your search results to return mainly cookbooks, not porn. If you're using Amazon at work or in a public library, you don't want to get into trouble because some porn result shows up. Precisely because porn isn't very socially acceptable, it's often classified in misleading ways, so you need to have a filtering system to counter that. In the case of Google, if you turn safe search off you get more porn than relevant search results, because the porn all disguises itself (thinly) as useful information.
This system is kind of messed up from the beginning, in my opinion: if porn were accepted as a normal part of human expression and sexuality, the vendors would label it clearly and not need underhand tricks to get people to view their products. And it wouldn't automatically get you fired from work if you accidentally followed a link to a pornographic book when you were looking for work-relevant or neutral information. And there wouldn't be a problem distinguishing factual information about sexuality from porn.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 02:17 pm (UTC)There is a time and a place for both reasoned discussion and, when that fails, highly visible activism and protest. No doubt it's valuable to have a degree of flag waving to publicise the story, but this is too much, too fast.
Going straight from discovery to the small nuclear option (boycotting Amazon), especially on what is a UK bank holiday, is mob mentality. The sensible option is to request a timeframe for a response, and when (if) there is no satisfactory response then escalate it. Such a sensible timeframe would normally, I suggest, be at *least* half, to a whole week. No-one is dying from this discrimination - it does not demand a response in an hour.
Online discussion frequently suffers from a lack of context and reasoned response. Therefore, it's difficult to know when someone is not being serious. Add in a large degree of disagreement over when it's appropriate to use certain terms, whether it's appropriate to see certain groups in certain ways and the frequent lack of education from the discriminated community and it's no wonder things explode.
(Incidentally, before anyone points me at the 'shitty things people of privilege do when arguing' checklist, let me spare you the bother. Specifically the 'it is the ignorant person's responsibility to educate themselves' argument is *wrong*. Whilst it is not the responsibility of any individual disadvantaged person to educate the ignorant, it *is* a responsibility for the community as a whole. This means that someone, somewhere, has to provide the response. 'Go look at this concise set of accessible webpages' is acceptable, so are marches containing easily understood banners, whilst 'go to the library, ask for subjects on this matter and read three books' is not.)
The above is also a reason for the 'both sides at fault' viewpoint. Even if one side is objectively utterly in the wrong, if the opposing community fail to articulate why they are wrong to a third uninvolved party, the people that matter (the ones without fixed ideas) will not change.
As to the rest I generally agree. Minor quibbles would be of the 'I know what you mean, but what you said isn't accurate' of white club vs POC club - the difference being when membership of the club confers privilege or enforces discrimination. Theoretically there could be non discriminatory white only clubs, but I'm struggling to find a reason for one.
The other quibble would be the workplace discrimination issue - unfortunately it's sometimes difficult to draw the line between supporting someone to help them compete on the same level as a privileged person (good) and 'positive discrimination' (something I personally consider a bad idea). If the line goes too far in one direction, it will lead to complaints.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 02:33 pm (UTC)If someone says "oh, if only you had a more reasonable tone", it falls on you to decide whether they really would listen and you care what they think, or whether they're making a (perhaps unconscious) excuse to avoid dealing with things they find uncomfortable, or whether you just don't care about what that person thinks anyway (for example, if they're an outsider who's come into a space for rallying the troops). If it's the former, you should ignore the fact that the person made an OMG TONE ARGUMENT and do what you think it takes to win. If it's one or both of the latter two, carry on as you were.
In the Amazon case, I think making a big noise was the winning thing to do. In other cases, it sometimes seems the participants think the universe automatically rewards the righteousness of your cause.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 02:34 pm (UTC)Thank you for re-explaining the difference between superficially similar behaviours. I think I agree, although I am not thinking about this in terms of my agreement or otherwise, it is more just building different mental models to ponder on. I read your argument as "to us as outside observers the putting down behaviour is different to the victim reaction against the putting down behaviour, and both the observers and the people involved should realise this difference exists".
I guess the powerful group who is accusing the vulnerable group of discrimination (e.g. powerful manager accusing the assertive female employee of feminist agression) does not see this difference. They see an accusation against them and feel persecuted, not necessarily realising they have been doing the same thing to the vulnerable group for a long time (the manager does feel hurt by accusations brought by the female employee). Hence there is a need to demonstrate to people how they fit in to the "discriminators" versus the "vulnerable" historic layout.
I was not being deliberately contrary when I suggested quantifying/classifying/listing discrimination - severity obviously varies between different cases of discrimination, and some sort of statistical system like that may well help?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 02:38 pm (UTC)There's also the problem that some groups complain LOUDLY about OMG Discrimination when you take away some un-earned privilege that was screwing with some other group (like the 'right' of Christians to have prayer in schools or something). These groups make much the same sort of noise as "we" do. It is very annoying.
Which sometimes makes it hard at first glance to see whether a group asking for some rights is after more rights than they "should" get or not. And of course "should" varies by moral system (but I'm aiming for "everyone gets the same" as a starting point).
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 02:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 02:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 03:03 pm (UTC)I'm not sure that there's a pre-defined level of rights that everybody should get, that's kind of an odd way of looking at rights. It's more that there have to be compromises between "doing whatever you like" and "impinging on other people's rights". I admit that some people say, there's no point campaigning for men to be able to wear dresses or be full-time parents, they already have so much more than women in so many other areas that they don't need those things as well. But I don't really agree with that argument; it is unfair that men can't do those things, and granting them that right wouldn't hurt any women, so they have just as much right to demand that the discrimination should be ended as women suffering from sexism do. But equally, men who demand the "right" to a wife who does whatever they say and devotes her life to keeping the house beautiful and always being willing to have sex should just get laughed at, because that's not a right, that's the ability to exploit other people.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 03:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 03:25 pm (UTC)Yes, people should realize that the differences in similar behaviours exist, that was most of the point of my post. But I agree with you that when you're directly involved in the situation (or even when you're observing it with incomplete information), it's often pretty hard to tell. The sexist manager is a good example, he probably genuinely feels that his employee is attacking him and is not just making up excuses not to have to deal with his issues. I don't know how one would go about convincing him; I suppose by having a feminist movement that does in fact give lots of examples and explanations from history.
I don't know about quantifying and classifying; yeah, there needs to be lots of information out there for people to be able to make these judgements. But I'm not sure there's a lot of point in coming to a careful conclusion that, say, racism is worse than homophobia. Obviously different people are going to have such different experiences, and lots of people fit into more than one category. But absolutely, everybody needs more information in order to be able to perceive the differences I'm talking about (which are more obvious in a generalized, theoretical post like this than in actual specific situations).
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 03:43 pm (UTC)I agree that theoretically there could be such a thing as a white-only club that wasn't racist. I was trying to give a simple example of the asymmetry that I could build on to develop my argument, so I take your point that I made a statement that was more sweeping than accurate there.
I'm with you on being against positive discrimination, as it happens. In order to overturn an unfair discrimination, you have to have good tactics as well as noble goals. Not every action that claims to be against discrimination is necessarily a good thing. But the problem is when powerful people use the language of discrimination to avoid actually doing anything to stop exploiting people. For example, being made to attend a diversity awareness course is not "discrimination" against your right to be a bigot. Having a legal requirement to enforce fair employment procedures is not "discrimination" against your right to employ only your mates (who all happen to be white men from a middle class background). You could legitimately argue that these are poor tactics for making the workplace fairer, but that's a different thing from saying that they are discriminating against the majority group.
The one place I do disagree with you is in referring to the blogging and Twittering against Amazon as or a . Putting an "Amazonfail" hashtag in your tweets is not violence. Refusing to buy from Amazon is not nuclear war. I think it would be reasonable to give Amazon a few days to fix their fuckup, but on the other hand, if people are rushing to judgement too fast, nobody is dying from the boycott either. If Amazon causes the authors of books including gay material to lose money for a few days, then it's fair for them to lose sales to outraged customers for a few days. I think the degree of publicity in this case was proportionate to the scale of the situation. Exactly what was needed here was a mass movement to make it very clear to Amazon that homophobia, even if it's accidental, is going to lose them more customers than it gains.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 03:56 pm (UTC)See
Personally, I don't like calling "Bingo!" and do prefer making an effort to present arguments in a way that my audience will be likely to receive them well, and that's a lot to do with the tactical reasons that you mention. But I think if I had made every effort within my power to present my case in a fashion as conciliatory as possible, and just got called abusive for my pains, I'd probably give up after a while. And I might well devolve to "well, if you're going to keep claiming I'm a mean nasty bitch anyway, fuck you too".
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 05:10 pm (UTC)I think a bigger problem is the whole "adult" category. which usually means erotica, porn, and sometimes anything to do with sexuality. None of which are adult issues. Erotica and porn are not really suitable for young children, but then neither are power tools and we don't label those adult. Sexuality is definitely relevant to teenagers, and probably younger then that - I certainly remember being nine and fancying a boy in my class. But the large parts society that thinks porn is unaceptable thinks the same of sexuality and wants to hide from themselves as well as their children material they aren't comfortable seeing whilst shouting about saving the children.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 05:18 pm (UTC)