Livre d'Or

It's not really about Bicon, everything I've heard about it suggests it would be a very supportive and welcoming environment for people in just my situation. It's much more to do with my hangups; the Bicon issue was just a way of introducing what I wanted to talk about.

Thank you for commenting with encouragement. The thing is that I think it's a bit glib to just assure myself that there will always be some people who disapprove. Very few people who have any effect on my life at all will disapprove of me being in a relationship with a man of my own age, class and culture. Even those few who do disapprove will probably do so on quite an abstract, theoretical level. In contrast, people in non-normative, including same-sex relationships, encounter disapproval all the time, from strangers who see them together in the street, from colleagues, from parts of their social circle, from at least some of their family. And it's not just in theory thinking that, for example, het relationships can never be free of the taint of patriarchy, no, it's finding people and their relationships disgusting, it's the ever-present threat of serious rejection and even violence. Those things are not equivalent, no way.

Even frank biphobia is rare compared to homophobia in general, and in most cases much less pernicious. And beyond that, there is lots of justified resentment by Queer people of people like me who may benefit from their struggle without really directly sharing it. That's part of the reason why I don't want to just lump a bunch of different things together under the catch-all of "some people disapprove".