Livre d'Or

Re: bad patches. I've been lucky enough not really to have experienced something I would call a "bad patch" with B but there are a couple of factors that would play into how long I stayed:

Firstly, the length of the relationship, when I hear about people who've only been dating for a few months but who have spent almost all of that time working really hard to stay together, I think "really? if it's that hard that early on, something is seriously wrong." Roughly, I think I have a 10:1 good times to bad times ratio in my head, having been with B for 9 years or so, I'd think of anything under around a year as a "patch" but anything much more than that as something I would consider leaving over.

Secondly, the nature of the rough patch. I know this is subjective and easier said than understood but I'd make a distinction between things that are external to the relationship and things that are internal to the relationship. So, your partner losing their job and this causing you both stress is external; but them violating the rules of your relationship is an internal problem. I'd be willing to spend a lot longer pushing through an external problem than an internal one. I'd still be willing to try to work out an internal one but I'd be much more aware, with the internal problem, that there was a greater liklihood of it just not being fixable.