Livre d'Or

Thank you so much! It is really helpful to be told that I'm impressive for establishing a routine and sticking to it. I mean, it doesn't seem much, and I mainly keep up because of buddying with mathcathy. But yeah, I have achieved something worthwhile by keeping this up for 9 months.

Listening to my body is always a struggle for me. I still have to remind myself that it's not just an annoying meatsack I have to drag around, and get over the intellectual snobbery of thinking that information I can obtain by pure reasoning is more valuable. Also my body is slightly broken in that it tends to send "help, not enough air!" messages long before it's necessary. But I'm definitely getting the hang of distinguishing such false alarms from stuff I actually should be paying attention to.

I think just following the exercises at half pace isn't quite the solution for me at the moment. I don't have enough coordination to be able to handle picking out the musical beat while doing things differently from the instructor and the rest of the class and trying to do exercises complicated enough to require attention. When I'm panicking anyway, I definitely don't have enough spare brain power. Right now I think a better solution is to stay away from that class when it's the instructor who wants to do complicated things fast. That's a bit harder to do without being rude, because if I turn up, get ready for class and then walk out when she appears, it's hard to do that discreetly.