Livre d'Or

*hug* It's not so much that your assumptions are wrong, it's that there are several different conversations going on all cross-referencing eachother. I'm reasonably convinced that Fifty shades does in fact portray BDSM unfairly, and I can completely understand why many kinksters are protesting about that.

But there's a second level of problematic dynamics that can arise, where if a particular subculture is ostracised and stereotyped, people from that culture start seeing things as a kind of "us against the world" situation. They're not entirely wrong to do so, but there can be bad consequences, namely that if abuse happens within the subculture, which will happen eventually because some people are evil, the subculture then deliberately protects the abusers. And if anyone should possibly suggest that some abuse might be going on, the immediate defence is to react as if any possible suggestion of any problems is just stereotyping of the culture by outsiders and should be ignored or denied. That in fact makes the subculture into a fertile ground for predators, because they know their social group will turn a blind eye. I think elialshadowpine is trying to draw attention to this second kind of problem within the BDSM culture. Not to accept the stereotype that all dominant men are actually abusers.