Livre d'Or

Take a step back and read this essay in comparison with the "my wedding got me a great European vacation without much economic or logistical hardship" post, as I did (coming over from LJ and reading a bunch at once).

Liv, I think you're great. But the "I can't complain... here's a whole post that's really kind of complaining" attitude here is galling. I mean, so much of the Croatia post is about the privilege you were afforded because of this decision.

Let me give you a comparison. I work for an incredibly under-resourced, under-funded public university that is stretched to its breaking point. But I happen to work in what is probably the only unit of the university that gets the resources it needs and the money it needs and really has zero problems with overcrowding. I go do my job in a beautiful building in a wealthy neighborhood with ample room to do what I need to do, as opposed to being one of 200 adjuncts in a community college department where none of the rooms have windows and I can't get any chalk. (And yes, I've also had that job in my time here.)

When I go out with my friends, and people are bitching about work, you know what I do? I keep my mouth shut. Because I know my friends have to deal with far more hardships than I do. Part of dealing with your privilege is, frankly, keeping a lid on it. Sure, I could leave my job--and you could get divorced. But since that's not likely to happen, a woman married-by-choice musing on singleness feels akin to a man putting forth strong opinions on abortion.