Livre d'Or

Nice to see you, and I really like this long, thoughtful comment! Secret admirer stuff doesn't sit well with me because I really like direct, honest communication and I'm scared of horrible misunderstandings. And also because I was always the kid who got left out when people were exchanging stuff like that. But if it's done in a spirit of fun rather than being taken too seriously I can definitely see the appeal.

I completely agree it's possible to have a thoughtful, personally meaningful Valentine's Day celebration even if you're being bombarded with "buy tacky shit" messages. I mean, I wouldn't say that people shouldn't celebrate Christmas just because there's lots of advertising encouraging people to spend money they can't afford on stuff they don't want. I definitely do like making my partners feel special.

It's great that you're giving your friends tokens of affection and making plans to enjoy a themed event even though you're single. I hope you have a brilliant time. It's also good to know you're appreciating being single and have excellent people. I think it's understandable to feel wistful for relationships that didn't work out, and perfectly reasonable to be self-aware about enjoying being in a relationship. Yay for you, and I'm sorry for the negative parts of your mixed feelings.