Livre d'Or

Something I noticed in your post. You set up a dichotomy between being angry at "the unfairness of it all" on the one hand, and some unspecified concept of "accepting" on the other. You don't unpack that "accepting", but the way you use it seems to suggest that you think it means "not being upset by death or suffering or loss".

As my previous comment illustrates, those are not the only two options. If one believes that the only choices are being angry every time one grieves or not grieving at all, well, that would explain why one would never get over the anger at "the unfairness of it all".