Livre d'Or

Yes, Ebert's quoted philosophy sounds very close to a major strand of my own religious background, it seemed strange to me that it was couched as being completely unpalatable to a religious person. I may also be interpreting his words differently from how he intended them, of course.

I definitely think it's a bad idea to set up a template for what emotions people should be feeling on what timescale after a bereavement. It makes sense to me that once you'd finished crying you didn't want social pressure to cry because that's the expected behaviour at funerals. I do have mixed feelings about life celebrations; sometimes it's a really good thing, really helpful, but sometimes it can be a kind of forced cheerfulness when one wants more time to be sad about a loss. I am glad to know that you had the opportunity to share good stories when your people when your mother died.