Livre d'Or

Because I'm transsexual, I've seen a bit of this issue from both sides and I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it all, because the issue is really complicated and it's not as simple as I thought it would be now that I've been transitioning for a while. I kinda expected for things to be simpler now, and they aren't.

I guess the main things that I've noticed is that one of the effects of changing hormones as I've done is that I got increased emotional capacity and I'm much better at communicating, versus becoming physically weaker.

I'd heard that women tended to be weaker than men, which is what makes women more prone to sexual harassment and violence, and that's definite and can be measured (and I had to admit I was surprised at how much weaker I've gotten). But I'd kinda dismissed the whole communication/emotional thing as a stereotype and it surprised me a lot that there was some truth behind it.

It also made some sense of things that I was picking up, because I can remember talking to men in dating contexts and having really positive reactions where I behaved emotionally supportively and just helped them out with expressing themselves, as if this was some big thing and I was being particularly nice to them as opposed to just a decent human being.

Inversely, I'd pick up lots of antagonism if I behaved manipulatively and men would more often respond with being physically threatening. Indeed, once I got over the initial painful and awkward phase of transitioning, I made it a rule not to manipulate men and, on the whole, I haven't had much trouble since then.

It also reminds me of a transguy I was talking to who said how he'd instantly gone from not being noticed to suddenly being stopped by police when hanging around after dark. Because he was male, he was instantly suspicious to everybody. That's something I found in reverse going the other way. Suddenly I was less suspicious and I could walk around supermarkets without security eyeing me up.

Putting it all together, it makes me think that, if men have the advantage in physical situations, but women in social situations, then accusations of harassment, both sexual and non, are exactly the kinds of places where men are most scared of women, because they're most out of their depth and least able to defend themselves and where the consequences are most likely to be serious.