Livre d'Or

Yeah, this is exactly my issue. Defaulting to they is (relatively) helpful for non-binary people, though of course some may prefer zie or em or whatever. But it's worse than assuming he or she for binary trans people, who may have had to fight really hard to get people to use the correct pronoun. (The other problem with they is that it can cause all kinds of difficulties for people who are multiple but not out about it; instead of thinking I'm avoiding gender assumptions, multiple folk might fear that I've somehow found out this private thing and am announcing it to the world.)

With names I always ask every single student how to pronounce their name, so that I don't end up making a likely correct guess for those with English names and either fucking up or singling out those with names from cultures I'm not familiar with. But I can't think of an equally neutral equivalent for preferred pronouns, sadly.