Livre d'Or

Our mutual friend can confirm that I am very, very intentional about my clothing. I have a distinct sense of style (made all the more specific in the past year, now that I have to look professional five days a week for the first time in my life) and my clothing is absolutely a way in which I express myself. Today at work I'm presenting my first annual report; every last item of clothing or piece of jewelry has been specifically picked out days in advance, including underthings and shoes.

It's just that every choice was made based on how I want to feel today--not on how this clothing will resonate with others. So that's where I'm challenged by the modesty business. Even if the relevant religious texts seem to be about modesty of spirit and apply to all, the practical application of those laws seems to be based on caring too much about what others think of you?

I have a not-so-secret fascination with Christian evangelical mommy blogs; they're something I read when I have downtime. (My parents nearly became conservative Christians in the early 80s, so I have a "that could have been me!" sort of feeling, particularly since my life is nearly the opposite.) I feel like I see a lot of policing there--so much so that the person is erased, and only the rules remain. In contrast, I want my clothing to highlight, complement, and extend who I am. So for me, I don't apply any external code to how I dress--it's a very internal thing, driven by personality and desired emotions.

I also think we should take on a generous mindset, and just not worry about what other people wear? What you wear is your thing. Honestly, it kind of makes me sad that you wore a cropped top to please someone else. I'm all for people wearing whatever they want to wear, and that includes fat folk (myself included) wearing whatever they feel like, but I would really really hate to think someone was making clothing choices specifically to make me comfortable. I basically think your friend should get over their discomfort.