Livre d'Or

I haven't read all of what you want as thoughtfully as I might if I wasn't as tired as I am now - but I disagree with something written by your friend.

I think that if the girl says 'Yes', even under pressure, then the man isn't just not an 'evil rapist' but he isn't a 'rapist' at all.
In some respect, even if it was diminished, she had control in the situation.

Of course it's grey, perhaps there are women who agree because agreement is better than the perceived alternative (rape) and the spoken agreement gives them a better feeling about the situation. Perhaps it's more complex even than that - but she agreed ergo it isn't rape.