Can I ask a favour?

[liv]

If you happen to see me in the next few weeks, please try to avoid making a big fuss over the fact that I'm about to move abroad. Quite a few people in the past few days have been doing the whole I'm probably not going to see you again thing when I try to leave. And I know it's well meant, and in fact I am flattered. Just I'm rather in denial about the fact that I'm about to move and break up this nice cosy situation where I have lots of free time and not too much geography between me and a sizeable group of cool people. And all those goodbyes get embarrassing, as well as reminding me of things I don't want to think about too hard.

After all, I'm not going to the ends of the earth. I mean, I know I considered doing just that at one stage, but as it happens, I'm only going to be a few hours away, and I will be back in the Cambridge / London area every so often.

This isn't directed at anyone in particular; several people have been doing this. I'm not criticizing, mind you, it's a perfectly rational thing to do, just, would you (collectively) mind respecting my foibles?

Comments

[ajollypyruvate]

Is it all right if I make a fuss when I see you? ;)

[liv]

You may make all the fuss you like. I need to make more plans to be in NorAm again sometime not too far in the future! But I would rather you made the fuss about seeing me in general, rather than about saying goodbye when the visit comes to an end. I'm not good at goodbyes.

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

Unrelated to the subject (since Sweden, Scotland, and London are all equally far away, as far as I'm concerned)... I really like your new journal lay-out. Tres cool.

[liv]

Thank you! More people than I expected positively like this plainer layout. I think of it as neutral, and really chose it as a stop-gap, but the longer I have it the more I think it's worth keeping. It's really well written, especially compared to the official system styles *cough*

It's cmshaw's entry for the styles contest from last year. Technically, it's head and shoulders above most of the other entries, but it's not visually pretty and I think most people just voted on the basis of the screenshots. At some point they might incorporate it as a system style, but for the moment, info is at widelines. But anyway, the point is that I can't take much credit for it, it's cmshaw's thinking like a programmer that makes it so easy to make something really good from his base.

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

People in denial get eaten by crocodiles! ;^b

Right, I'll shut up now. :o)

[liv]

You can take your horrible puns to the narrow place, you old crock.

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

You are such (http://www.fmnh.helsinki.fi/users/haaramo/Metazoa/deuterostoma/Chordata/Archosauria/Pseudosuchia/Suchia.htm) a mitserable killjoy! ;^b

[liv]

Tut, puns that rely on hyperlinks aRE cheating, you jackal!

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

Well, I could have left it out, but I didn't think you'd have got it without. (I can think of people (apart from myself!) who would have.)

And why the tut? I nefer tit anything to deserve that!

[redbird]

But you're already abroad!

More seriously, I've gotten rather used to having my friends scattered around much of the planet.

[hatam-soferet.livejournal.com]

Come have some tea :)

[liv]

You're quite right. Friends being scattered all over the place is an ongoing thing. I can't quite say I'm used to it, I still hate geography, but it's not a new thing connected with the impending move to Sweden.

I've had a year of living within range of a lively social circle. It includes some of my dearest friends, and it's been so nice to be able to see them regularly rather than a couple of times a year. It also includes a bunch of acquaintances who are turning into friends, a process much helped by regular contact. But there are still loads of people I really want to see more who live the other side of the world, of course, so that doesn't really change. I think the consequence of the move that I'm not facing up to is about just being able to be around people and do the kinds of social gatherings that I enjoy easily. Yes, I am going to miss specific people, but there are so many people I spend most of the time missing anyway, as you point out, so that's not really the issue.

[cyberlibrarian.livejournal.com]

I for one think that it's incredibly exciting that you're moving to Sweden, but I've only just met you as it were. I think you'll discover that the distances aren't so large. I've found, over the years, that the people who matter will stay in touch, and the people who didn't matter can assume a new significance. And then, as you said above, there are the people that are forever displaced from us. And, at least you have the lj to keep in touch with some and electronic or telephonic for others.
One big global village (terrible term)! With Ingmar Bergman thrown in for good measure. You'll be grand. You're very likeable and give off an instantly calm, intelligent aura (nother term I can't stand) that I think you'd do well anywhere. So there.

[liv]

Aww, this comment is so sweet! Thank you. You've really cheered me up.

You're right, telecommunications make this whole thing a lot easier and less scary. I don't know if I'd even be able to go through with this if I didn't have LJ (and to a lesser extent, email and IM).

The concept of a global village with added Ingmar Bergman is very cool, and goes a long way towards reconciling me to the move, thank you.

And thank you for the compliment. I have to point out that you did meet me when I was in an exceptionally good mood, what with the fun exhibition and meeting lots of cool new people. But you're right, I have a fair amount of confidence in my ability to survive socially.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I can sympathise, and there are some ways in which I do miss the ease of socialising in Cambridge. I'm probably not the right perspective to really grok this though, because there being lots of geography between me and the people I care about and know best has pretty much been a default for my adult life. Part of me very definitely feels "but you're not going anywhere really, you'll still be right here online". *hug* I suppose it's not the same to some extent because of how absolutely sure I am that I intend to see you again when circumstances permit, and to go a fair way in arranging said circumstances in due course.

[liv]

I know what you mean, and as I was trying to say to redbird, there's always been too much geography. That's not why I'm nervous about the move, not really. I've pretty much accepted that this idyll where I get to see lots of cool people regularly and often is not destined to last. But that doesn't mean I want to endure prolonged and tearful goodbyes at every social event I attend between now and the end of April, you know?

Thank you for being there, thank you for being good at virtual forms of being together. And I'm very heartened to hear that you're definitely intending to see me again. The fact I miss you has little to do with moving at this point.