Crowd-sourcing the wedding planning
Mar. 28th, 2011 07:09 pmCongratulations to ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
angelofthenorth and NZ on their respective engagements to lovely men!
One thing about being engaged (I don't know if it will happen to you guys) is that I find I'm attending weddings with my note-taking brain switched on. I spent the whole of Saturday thinking, hm, that's a good idea, maybe we should do that, or, hm, that works really well for them but it wouldn't suit us, or very occasionally, hm, I don't really like that, let's not do that. And next weekjack and I are attending a wedding workshop for mixed faith couples (thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lethargic_man for bringing it to my attention). The main reason for this is because I want to meet Jewish people who are religiously committed enough to attend community-oriented workshops and also in serious relationships with non-Jewish partners. But I figure it'll help if I show up with some idea of what I'm expecting our wedding to look like, as a starting place for discussion.
Part of my trouble is that I never really included "marriage" in my life plans, so I never fantasized about what my wedding would be like. And it seems inappropriate for this particular relationship to start from a religious framework (either Jewish or Christian), so I almost have a blank slate. I should note that I don't think it's inappropriate in general for mixed couples to use some religious elements in their ceremonies, I just don't want to do so.
As usual when I can't decide things, I appeal to the internet! Please express some opinions on these issues. Don't worry, we won't just democratically do whatever you suggest, so don't bother reassuring us that it's completely up to us and we can do whatever makes us happy. I'm asking because I think it would really help to know your reasons for why something seems like a good idea or a bad idea, both from the practical point of view of organizing it and from your own subjective ideas about what sort of things you would enjoy / appreciate as a guest.
The main principles I'm working on here are: I don't want to be a princess for the day, I don't want anything excessively elaborate or ostentatious, and I don't need it to be planned and coordinated down to the last detail of the table decorations matching the wedding stationery. Rather, my main aim is for my friends to have a good time, with a degree of formality that will make it feel solemn and real and provide dressing up opportunities for those who like that sort of thing, but without the formality and the ceremony taking over the event.
( hard decisions are hard )
OK, that grew to giant proportions. I'll stop brainstorming at you for a bit! I think part of my reaction toelemy's wedding is that I am sort of feeling that I'm depriving jack of the simple grandeur of a mainstream C of E (style) English wedding. I have ideological objections, sure, but there is something about it that speaks to the heart, if only because it has such strong emotional associations. So I need to find something pretty wonderful and personal to us, because it won't have that weight of repetition to make it meaningful.
angelofthenorth and NZ on their respective engagements to lovely men! One thing about being engaged (I don't know if it will happen to you guys) is that I find I'm attending weddings with my note-taking brain switched on. I spent the whole of Saturday thinking, hm, that's a good idea, maybe we should do that, or, hm, that works really well for them but it wouldn't suit us, or very occasionally, hm, I don't really like that, let's not do that. And next week
jack and I are attending a wedding workshop for mixed faith couples (thanks to lethargic_man for bringing it to my attention). The main reason for this is because I want to meet Jewish people who are religiously committed enough to attend community-oriented workshops and also in serious relationships with non-Jewish partners. But I figure it'll help if I show up with some idea of what I'm expecting our wedding to look like, as a starting place for discussion.Part of my trouble is that I never really included "marriage" in my life plans, so I never fantasized about what my wedding would be like. And it seems inappropriate for this particular relationship to start from a religious framework (either Jewish or Christian), so I almost have a blank slate. I should note that I don't think it's inappropriate in general for mixed couples to use some religious elements in their ceremonies, I just don't want to do so.
As usual when I can't decide things, I appeal to the internet! Please express some opinions on these issues. Don't worry, we won't just democratically do whatever you suggest, so don't bother reassuring us that it's completely up to us and we can do whatever makes us happy. I'm asking because I think it would really help to know your reasons for why something seems like a good idea or a bad idea, both from the practical point of view of organizing it and from your own subjective ideas about what sort of things you would enjoy / appreciate as a guest.
The main principles I'm working on here are: I don't want to be a princess for the day, I don't want anything excessively elaborate or ostentatious, and I don't need it to be planned and coordinated down to the last detail of the table decorations matching the wedding stationery. Rather, my main aim is for my friends to have a good time, with a degree of formality that will make it feel solemn and real and provide dressing up opportunities for those who like that sort of thing, but without the formality and the ceremony taking over the event.
( hard decisions are hard )
OK, that grew to giant proportions. I'll stop brainstorming at you for a bit! I think part of my reaction to
elemy's wedding is that I am sort of feeling that I'm depriving jack of the simple grandeur of a mainstream C of E (style) English wedding. I have ideological objections, sure, but there is something about it that speaks to the heart, if only because it has such strong emotional associations. So I need to find something pretty wonderful and personal to us, because it won't have that weight of repetition to make it meaningful.