Dear libido,

[liv]

Yes, it's spring. I'm glad you noticed. You can shut up about it any time now though. Really.

I may have discovered a cute boy who appreciates my breasts. But cute boy lives in a different country and besides, he has other things to do than gratify your unreasoned cravings.

It's not that I begrudge you your fun, but seriously. I'm not a teenager any more. Get a grip!

Exasperatedly yours,
Liv

Comments

[ploni-bat-ploni.livejournal.com]

You know what the solution to an overactive libido is?

Planning a wedding.

Yes, it's that simple. :-)

[liv]

I have heard quite often that marriage reduces sex drive. But it's too drastic a cure for me; I would definitely rather be single and a bit frustated than married even if that let me be relaxed in my body.

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

The theory goes that it gets worse until you are 35ish before getting any better. (Peak for men is about 18, though, massive gender difference.) Sorry if thats not very helpful!

[timeplease.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think the peak at 18 is about right. Maybe a bit later. It's still annoying that it's part of my life I haven't sorted out (and apparently have no plan for doing so either).


...I have a plan?!

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

ooh, a plan? *wobbles eyebrows*

[timeplease.livejournal.com]

No, no plan whatsoever. Hence the '?' and the '!'.

I suppose I've never felt that getting together with anyone was particularly urgent. Apart from moderate ongoing angst, I don't know whether this is going to kick in at all. I've seen all kinds of bad stuff that happens when people get involved, and that's made me thankful that I've missed it. On the other hand, I do wonder if there's something good I'm missing out on...

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

I would say that while a good relationship is better than status quo, a bad relationship is far worse than status quo; not sure if I am stating the obvious here. Would agree with the lack of urgency too, one advantage of being male is there being much less urgency. (but internet is your friend)

[timeplease.livejournal.com]

The "less urgency" is presumably the biological thing?

I get the occasional twinges of "you're wasting your life!" and try to ignore them.

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

Why wasting life? That implies that the point of life is to have a relationship, which I really do not think is the case. Not that I am a great expert on what the point *is*..

[sunflowerinrain.livejournal.com]

Getting better at 35ish? I don't think so.

[pplfichi.livejournal.com]

Peak for men is about 18

For some, maybe...

[liv]

I am not totally convinced by that popular wisdom, and even if it's true on average there has got to be wide variation between individuals. But I suspect I have a while to go before I grow out of this kind of nonsense, so I need to find some other solution than just waiting until I get old.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

Some points and pointers which you may find helpful:

• The boy is quite clearly blessed with impeccable taste as well as cuteness;
• It is entirely possible that he doesn't have better things to do;
• In the event that he does, it is still quite likely that he would find the time for you;
• You are correct in saying that you're not a teenager anymore. All the more reason to indulge yourself when your inner teenager wants to come out and play;
• There is lasting satisfaction in knowing you have made someone else happy, too;
• Go to it and good luck.
Really, there's no point opposing your libido: it's a healthy part of you, and nobody was ever made a better person by trying to pretend that they are some kind of asexual exemplar of the 'virtue' of chastity.

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

no point opposing your libido

It would be nice to be able to strike a bargain with your libido and come to some sort of civilised arrangement, I feel.

[timeplease.livejournal.com]

a bargain with your libido

How might that work?

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

Well, you could promise that if it left you alone this spring, you would reimburse it next spring. Or something.

[redbird]

Or offer it alternate Sunday afternoons?

[sunflowerinrain.livejournal.com]

That's all very well if you have something to offer it on the alternate Sundays (other than the 18-year-old boys, of course).

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

Sex doesn't always have to involve a partner. This is particularly true when you're just trying to indulge your libido and gratify cravings that are getting in the way of other things you'd like to think about. You don't have to worry about hurting a vibrator's feelings if you ignore it for 2 weeks.

[sunflowerinrain.livejournal.com]

Doesn't work for me :(

[timeplease.livejournal.com]

But that's what I told it last year! And the year before that, and the year before that.

[liv]

Hm, this is all good advice, but it's not really relevant to the specific issue that I'm complaining about. I have been talking to the cute boy; don't imagine that I'm stupid enough to rely on semi-cryptic LJ posts instead of direct communication. The reason why we're not having hot monkey sex is a lot more to do with geography than my making unjustified pessimistic assumptions.

And this is really not the kind of post I would make if I were trying to convince either my friends or myself that I am chaste or asexual! I'm not opposing my libido in the least, I'm just whining because external factors prevent me from indulging it.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

That's a relief!

Re: Dear libido

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

welcome to the club. mine is still totally off the scale and it is BOTHERSOME.

though, as somebody else said, don't write the cute boy off without consulting his view of it -- if your view leans towards doing something about it, that is. i strongly prefer to be consulted before other people write off any potential interest of mine, and figure it's only polite to extend others the same courtesy. :)

oh, i have a fitting usericon. *cackle*.

[liv]

Ugh, I'm sorry you're still being bothered by that. Of course you don't keep complaining about the same problem.

And I do have enough sense to realize that hints in LJ posts do not make for good communication! I have been talking to the cute boy directly, and not at all writing him off. The fact still remains that he is not in the same country as me, so even if we do arrange to meet up and see how things develop at some point, it doesn't justify being fixated on sex more of the time than is really convenient right now.