Notice of marriage

[liv]

liv, of Dreamwidth, (formerly livredor of LiveJournal) intends to marry jack, also of Dreamwidth, (also known as cartesiandaemon, of LiveJournal) on 29^th February 2012 in Cambridge Register Office.

You have 15 days to present any formal legal objections to this marriage, (although you might have to do some work since I don't use my documented name here, and the registry office hasn't yet learned about internet usernames).

Valid objections are:

• We made the classic folksong mistake of not finding out before it's too late that we're actually close blood relatives.
• We made the classic SF mistake of spending too much time hanging around memory altering devices or travelling faster than light, and one of us is already married to someone else but has erased all memory of this.
• We made the classic internet mistake of creating false personas and spending many years convincing people to believe in them, and we're not who we say we are.
• We made the classic romance novel mistake of trying to force an unwilling partner into marriage for nefarious reasons.

Invalid objections are: anything else, particularly anything along the lines of "it should have been me". If that's the case, I would say it's mostly your fault for not speaking up sooner, (with one or two exceptions who did ask but wanted to marry me on terms I couldn't accept).

And yes, I will post something similar using our offline names, but I don't want to link those to my journal. The names are also on a noticeboard tucked away in the depths of Hanley Town Hall, but honestly I don't think anybody in this city knows me well enough to know of any potential objections. And even if they did I can't imagine they would go and look at the noticeboard in the depths of the town hall, so this seems a singularly inefficient way of "publishing" a notice to marry.

Note that we actually intend to celebrate our wedding on 20^th May; this is just the legal formalities. We're considering providing some opportunities to object to the emotionally meaningful part of the wedding too, but we haven't quite worked out the logistics of how to do that, because that's the part we're making up as we go along.

Comments

[hatam_soferet]

I've got one! You abused a comma after a [Unknown site tag] tag!

Oh wait, comma abuse isn't an impediment to marriage is it. Forget I said anything.

[liv]

Feh, there's nothing wrong with my commas! You're a very creative person, please don't go applying your creativity to finding reasons why I can't get married :-p

[jack]

Which comma did you mean?

Notice of Marriage

[(Anonymous)]

Legally, I hope that Jack has placed the statutory notice in Cambridge Register Office.

Southernwood

Re: Notice of Marriage

[liv]

Yes, definitely. We ended up doing it in a staggered way because of living in different places, and also it seems that Cambridge is pretty happy for you to just turn up and do the formalities, whereas here you have to book in advance and this was the first appointment they had free.

[rho]

[On the extremely slim chance that the following could be construed as an actual objection, I wish to point out that nothing I am about to say actually constitutes an objection, and that I am actually delighted by the wonderful news, even though it isn't exactly news. But I'm still delighted.]

I object! I object on the grounds that jack is actually a clone of liv created by the two of them in 2029 as part of their illicit experiment on in-uterine development factors on the sex of human foetuses and predestination paradoxes. As such, not only are they (extremely) close blood relatives, but in Jack's personal timeline, Liv is already married (to his future self). Furthermore, pursuant to the Human Cloning Act of 2023, a clone and its parents shall, when contractually connected, be considered alternate identities of the same person, meaning that Liv is actually attempting to marry her own sock puppet. Furthermore, neither party is entering into the marriage of their own free will, seeing as both are constrained by the predestination paradox, and are aware that failure to marry could result in the unravelling of space and time. Being held hostage by the laws of physics in this manner, neither can be deemed willing or consenting.

[emperor]

*giggle*

[verazea]

Legal impediments to marriage? Meh. And aside any religious objections what's wrong with group marriage anyway?

But marrying your own sock puppet? Something about that does seem deeply wrong.

[liv]

I'm not personally against group marriage, or indeed multiple marriages which aren't fully commutative. It's just that bigamy, sir, is a crime and it would be perjury to lie about an existing marriage in order to contract this one.

I agree that it would be deeply wrong to marry my own sockpuppet, though. Ew.

best objection ever!

[liv]

This is incredibly brilliant and amazingly twisted! Thank you for providing another reason why online announcements are much superior to dusty noticeboards in registry offices. My head hurts from trying to follow all your paradoxes and my tummy hurts from laughing at your description.

[nanaya]

Just generally YAY!

[liv]

Thank you! I do feel very yayful about this, even if the bureaucracy is a little bizarre.

[sunflowerinrain]

Beware of the Leopard.

[liv]

Sounds like excellent advice, but why specifically in the context of this post?

[emperor]

Otherwise, there might be cat-astrophic consequences :-)

[liv]

Meeeeow!

[sunflowerinrain]

Random connection alert! Sorry.

"But look you found the notice didn't you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard"."
Douglas Adams.

[azurelunatic]

I'm not sure what it says about me that I knew exactly what you meant before you explained it.

[sunflowerinrain]

Ahhh, I love it when somebody knows what I'm talking about :)

[lethargic_man]

It got a giggle from me too, FWIW.

[syllopsium]

i object on the grounds that im not sure if a registry office can contain that much Awesome at one time without the universe splitting ;)

Good luck :) i didnt know you had to give 15 days formal notice

[liv]

Aww, *hug* thank you, that's a lovely objection.

I didn't know quite how much paperwork was involved either; you have to have been resident somewhere for at least 7 days, and then you have to give 15 days notice within a year of the intended marriage. (If your situation is complicated it has to be within 3 months, I think.) And if you live in different places you have to go to fairly elaborate lengths to prove that you actually know each other and both have the same plans for the marriage. It doesn't work like in films when people just randomly run away to get married on a whim. But maybe that was allowed at some point in history, or in some states of the US, or something?

[403]

In several parts of the U.S., you can get married on no more notice than bride and groom both showing up at the courthouse to pay a fee and sign a document.

[sunflowerinrain]

In Scotland. It's why people eloped to Gretna Green, because that was the first town over the border. My immediate family has recent experience of a quick (and painful but fortunately brief) marriage contracted on a holiday there.

[ajollypyruvate]

*squeal!*

[azurelunatic]

I know neither of you well enough to possibly formulate any objection, and the only one I could imagine from what little I do know, is that the logistics of inviting the entire internet to the ensuing celebrations have got to be pretty rough.

[pthalo]

congrats!

[megamole]

Mazel tov!

[lumiere.livejournal.com]

Congratulations!