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livThe week before last was one of the most stressful I can remember in a long time, and last week was one of the most relaxing. Neither of them involved much time for cherishing my connections with online friends, though!
The stressful week involved practical exams, two full days of alternating 5 minute blocks of closely observing a student performing a practical skill and 20 seconds of noting down the marks before the next student arrives. Repeat x 70 with one 20 minute and two 10 minute breaks. It also involved the festival of Shavuot (Pentecost), which it turned out my community had never celebrated before, so I had to instruct them, organize them and lead the service itself, including reading the whole book of Ruth in Hebrew.
Those things make for a busy, intense week, but nothing I hadn't done before. What made it stressful was that it was also the week of the funeral of our synagogue president. For various reasons I ended up leading the funeral service as well as the memorial prayers of the subsequent days, and although officially my job was simply to guide people in reciting the prayers, it's inevitable that people look to the officiant for emotional support.
My friends were absolutely amazing. I won't say I couldn't have done it without you, because I know it's my personality to get through things somehow, if there's no alternative. But I think I would have fallen apart emotionally if it wasn't for the incredible support of several people. So many that I kind of hesitated whether to list them all, because long lists of names make for boring posts. Still:emperor, ewt and hatam_soferet said exactly what I needed to hear at just the moment I needed it. angelofthenorth was supportive and understanding of what this kind of community commitment involves, and checked up on me after the funeral to make sure I was ok. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rysmiel and khalinche came and chatted to me and made time for long conversations which let me talk through my feelings and find strength. jack promised to carry on being there for me over the course of the next few months and years of dealing with my community's grief and helping to shape our future without our president. Thank you all, so much; I'm absolutely overwhelmed by how much support you all gave me when I had a lot to carry.
The timing worked out that I had one night between the end of the last exam and setting off to Sweden for a Busman's holiday, running another Shavuot related event for my Progressive community in Stockholm. Although the travelling was a bit of a pain, this turned out to be exactly what I needed. EBH, the chairman of the Progressive group and someone I'm really fond of, met me at the station and drove me home and fed me supper and teeeeeeea; there's something uniquely wonderful about being met by a host at the end of a journey, and being able to relax and stop having to worry about travelling and being in a foreign place. Not that Stockholm is all that foreign to me, but it's still not home.
Saturday I went to synagogue and met the famous new rabbi. He gave a very political sermon, yet still scholarly and erudite and tactful. I could clearly see both why he has such a fanbase and why he is not universally popular. Also lots of people (mainly of the Conservative persuasion, so people I wasn't naturally going to meet through running Progressive events) were touchingly pleased to see me, and it was good to catch up. It was also a gloriously sunny day, the sort that only happens a few days a year in Sweden, so I spent the afternoon wandering around Stockholm on foot. Nothing very dramatic, but still incredibly beautiful with everything in bloom and everybody smiling and drinking up the sunshine. This year the winter was harsh and the thaw came late, almost into May, and you could just tell how longed for the summer was!
Sunday was the Shavuot event, which took place in EBH's marvellous allotment, which is essentially a sizeable and very attractive garden right in the middle of the city. Those of the committee who hadn't already left the city for their country places according to Swedish tradition came and joined us for another Swedish tradition: sitting in the garden eating pickled herring with new potatoes and drinking schnapps. For the main event there were about 20 adults (including one of my former bat mitzvah pupils) and half a dozen little kids and lots and lots of cheesecake. We had a good discussion, and my children's game of "gleaning" sweets hidden in the long grass and eventually finding a plush Torah toy worked well. I ended up going out to dinner (in Stockholm's one decent Balti restaurant, yes I know that's a bizarre thing to look for in places that are not the UK, but I got nostalgic at some point when I was away from familiar cuisine for three years) with the BM pupil and her mother, and it was all lovely sitting in the sun eating mutar paneer and chatting.
Monday I somehow managed to get roped in to the early morning service, and it was lucky I did because I was the tenth to make a quorum for a girl who was celebrating her Bat Mitzvah and she wouldn't have been able to read from Torah without me. Also it was a good excuse to garner a bit more community gossip than at the big service on Saturday. Then I went to lunch with a couple of former colleagues. It was a very enjoyable afternoon even though I'm a bit sad to see that both of them have fallen out of the leaky pipeline and left research, one to work in technical industry and one to be a full-time mother. Nothing wrong with either of those jobs, but I was really hoping to see a better rate of women continuing in academia in Sweden. I went on to my former workplace to meet up with colleagues who are still around, and there was cream cake in celebration of something unrelated to my visit, and work gossip and good times. YX invited me home for dinner and was pleased that I appreciate her Chinese cooking and get on well with her kids.
Tuesday was shopping. EBH agreed to point out various boutiques to me; there are some places I was totally unaware of that do amazing things with colourful wool and linen, but I don't think any of them were quite the thing for a wedding dress. I tried some more conventional high street shops in the afternoon, and although I did somewhat better than in the London high street I still didn't find what I was looking for. Luckily the evening was relaxing (although it did involve getting rained on a lot); I went to the Modern Art Museum withsmhwpf to see an exhibition about a rather fascinating feminist artist, and then on to Hermans for dinner. Although the view over the water is as lovely as ever (even in the mist and rain), prices have gone up so it's no longer enough cheaper than a typical restaurant to really justify the crowded conditions and rough-and-ready atmosphere. I like the hearty, homestyle vegetarian food, but the place seems to have lost a lot of its specialness since I was last there.
Wednesday my flight was late enough to allow a fairly relaxed morning with EBH (having plenty of time to chat to her was one of the best things about a generally lovely trip), but even with an evening flight it's pretty hard to do much on the day of travel. I had boring travel delays and reached Cambridge at about 2 am, wherejack was thoughtful enough to meet me with a vacuum flask of hot, much needed teeeeea.
And then I rounded off the holiday with a wonderful few days in Cambridge, enjoying the chance to spend relaxed time withjack interspersed with intense May Week socializing. We went to the Science Fiction Society black tie dinner, which contained many many people who are lovely and fun to talk to. I sort of flubbed things at the afterparty, and ended up with everyone I wanted to talk to involved in games that aren't very easy or fun to spectate, and turned into a bit of a pumpkin. But then jack and some of the poohsoc people caused there to be tea, and I perked up and found some enjoyable conversations (particularly with undergrads who were being delightfully enthusiastic about their subjects!). And ended up staying very late playing a cool trivia game called Contact.
Thenjack hosted a party, with some fantastically shiny guests and more excellent conversations. I was particularly delighted to see illusive_shelle who came with her boy from miles away in the Midlands and generally made the party extra lovely. I also got into a really good conversation with vyvyan, who I wish would come to parties more often cos he's great. Unfortunately I was tired and tipsy enough that I was actually slurring my words, never mind trying to hold my end up in a high level intellectual conversation about the philosophical basis of my political views. But I hope I'll get more chances to talk to vyvyan when I'm more articulate!
I showed up at my parents' synagogue Saturday morning, which again gave me a chance to catch up with old friends, and also to spend the afternoon with my poor neglected family. And the evening was the Round Playford Ball. I had thought it was going to be a ceilidh with a classier dress code, so was slightly thrown by the reenacted courtly (as opposed to folk) dances and the rather minimal calling. But I settled in after a while; there was a very wide range of skill levels among the guests, and everybody was willing to help out if I didn't know the steps, and at least courtly dances have the advantage of slightly slower pace than a typical ceilidh. And there was a delicious dinner and more fun people to talk to (many of the same people I'd seen at other events in the week, in fact).
And I rounded off the week with Sunday lunch at parents', followed by a bit of chatting and a bit of visiting an acquaintance who is unfortunately in hospital after a minor stroke. At least she seemed in good spirits and not too incapacitated.
So yes, a week of good food and good conversation and sunshine and time in the same place as friends was just what I needed, I must say.
In unrelated, but very exciting news, my dear friend MK announced the birth of his daughter today! His son, just about the first baby to be born to my social circle, will turn 12 in a few weeks, and now he has a little tiny sister. Yay!
The stressful week involved practical exams, two full days of alternating 5 minute blocks of closely observing a student performing a practical skill and 20 seconds of noting down the marks before the next student arrives. Repeat x 70 with one 20 minute and two 10 minute breaks. It also involved the festival of Shavuot (Pentecost), which it turned out my community had never celebrated before, so I had to instruct them, organize them and lead the service itself, including reading the whole book of Ruth in Hebrew.
Those things make for a busy, intense week, but nothing I hadn't done before. What made it stressful was that it was also the week of the funeral of our synagogue president. For various reasons I ended up leading the funeral service as well as the memorial prayers of the subsequent days, and although officially my job was simply to guide people in reciting the prayers, it's inevitable that people look to the officiant for emotional support.
My friends were absolutely amazing. I won't say I couldn't have done it without you, because I know it's my personality to get through things somehow, if there's no alternative. But I think I would have fallen apart emotionally if it wasn't for the incredible support of several people. So many that I kind of hesitated whether to list them all, because long lists of names make for boring posts. Still:
emperor, ewt and hatam_soferet said exactly what I needed to hear at just the moment I needed it. angelofthenorth was supportive and understanding of what this kind of community commitment involves, and checked up on me after the funeral to make sure I was ok. rysmiel and khalinche came and chatted to me and made time for long conversations which let me talk through my feelings and find strength. jack promised to carry on being there for me over the course of the next few months and years of dealing with my community's grief and helping to shape our future without our president. Thank you all, so much; I'm absolutely overwhelmed by how much support you all gave me when I had a lot to carry.The timing worked out that I had one night between the end of the last exam and setting off to Sweden for a Busman's holiday, running another Shavuot related event for my Progressive community in Stockholm. Although the travelling was a bit of a pain, this turned out to be exactly what I needed. EBH, the chairman of the Progressive group and someone I'm really fond of, met me at the station and drove me home and fed me supper and teeeeeeea; there's something uniquely wonderful about being met by a host at the end of a journey, and being able to relax and stop having to worry about travelling and being in a foreign place. Not that Stockholm is all that foreign to me, but it's still not home.
Saturday I went to synagogue and met the famous new rabbi. He gave a very political sermon, yet still scholarly and erudite and tactful. I could clearly see both why he has such a fanbase and why he is not universally popular. Also lots of people (mainly of the Conservative persuasion, so people I wasn't naturally going to meet through running Progressive events) were touchingly pleased to see me, and it was good to catch up. It was also a gloriously sunny day, the sort that only happens a few days a year in Sweden, so I spent the afternoon wandering around Stockholm on foot. Nothing very dramatic, but still incredibly beautiful with everything in bloom and everybody smiling and drinking up the sunshine. This year the winter was harsh and the thaw came late, almost into May, and you could just tell how longed for the summer was!
Sunday was the Shavuot event, which took place in EBH's marvellous allotment, which is essentially a sizeable and very attractive garden right in the middle of the city. Those of the committee who hadn't already left the city for their country places according to Swedish tradition came and joined us for another Swedish tradition: sitting in the garden eating pickled herring with new potatoes and drinking schnapps. For the main event there were about 20 adults (including one of my former bat mitzvah pupils) and half a dozen little kids and lots and lots of cheesecake. We had a good discussion, and my children's game of "gleaning" sweets hidden in the long grass and eventually finding a plush Torah toy worked well. I ended up going out to dinner (in Stockholm's one decent Balti restaurant, yes I know that's a bizarre thing to look for in places that are not the UK, but I got nostalgic at some point when I was away from familiar cuisine for three years) with the BM pupil and her mother, and it was all lovely sitting in the sun eating mutar paneer and chatting.
Monday I somehow managed to get roped in to the early morning service, and it was lucky I did because I was the tenth to make a quorum for a girl who was celebrating her Bat Mitzvah and she wouldn't have been able to read from Torah without me. Also it was a good excuse to garner a bit more community gossip than at the big service on Saturday. Then I went to lunch with a couple of former colleagues. It was a very enjoyable afternoon even though I'm a bit sad to see that both of them have fallen out of the leaky pipeline and left research, one to work in technical industry and one to be a full-time mother. Nothing wrong with either of those jobs, but I was really hoping to see a better rate of women continuing in academia in Sweden. I went on to my former workplace to meet up with colleagues who are still around, and there was cream cake in celebration of something unrelated to my visit, and work gossip and good times. YX invited me home for dinner and was pleased that I appreciate her Chinese cooking and get on well with her kids.
Tuesday was shopping. EBH agreed to point out various boutiques to me; there are some places I was totally unaware of that do amazing things with colourful wool and linen, but I don't think any of them were quite the thing for a wedding dress. I tried some more conventional high street shops in the afternoon, and although I did somewhat better than in the London high street I still didn't find what I was looking for. Luckily the evening was relaxing (although it did involve getting rained on a lot); I went to the Modern Art Museum with
smhwpf to see an exhibition about a rather fascinating feminist artist, and then on to Hermans for dinner. Although the view over the water is as lovely as ever (even in the mist and rain), prices have gone up so it's no longer enough cheaper than a typical restaurant to really justify the crowded conditions and rough-and-ready atmosphere. I like the hearty, homestyle vegetarian food, but the place seems to have lost a lot of its specialness since I was last there. Wednesday my flight was late enough to allow a fairly relaxed morning with EBH (having plenty of time to chat to her was one of the best things about a generally lovely trip), but even with an evening flight it's pretty hard to do much on the day of travel. I had boring travel delays and reached Cambridge at about 2 am, where
jack was thoughtful enough to meet me with a vacuum flask of hot, much needed teeeeea.And then I rounded off the holiday with a wonderful few days in Cambridge, enjoying the chance to spend relaxed time with
jack interspersed with intense May Week socializing. We went to the Science Fiction Society black tie dinner, which contained many many people who are lovely and fun to talk to. I sort of flubbed things at the afterparty, and ended up with everyone I wanted to talk to involved in games that aren't very easy or fun to spectate, and turned into a bit of a pumpkin. But then jack and some of the poohsoc people caused there to be tea, and I perked up and found some enjoyable conversations (particularly with undergrads who were being delightfully enthusiastic about their subjects!). And ended up staying very late playing a cool trivia game called Contact. Then
jack hosted a party, with some fantastically shiny guests and more excellent conversations. I was particularly delighted to see illusive_shelle who came with her boy from miles away in the Midlands and generally made the party extra lovely. I also got into a really good conversation with vyvyan, who I wish would come to parties more often cos he's great. Unfortunately I was tired and tipsy enough that I was actually slurring my words, never mind trying to hold my end up in a high level intellectual conversation about the philosophical basis of my political views. But I hope I'll get more chances to talk to vyvyan when I'm more articulate! I showed up at my parents' synagogue Saturday morning, which again gave me a chance to catch up with old friends, and also to spend the afternoon with my poor neglected family. And the evening was the Round Playford Ball. I had thought it was going to be a ceilidh with a classier dress code, so was slightly thrown by the reenacted courtly (as opposed to folk) dances and the rather minimal calling. But I settled in after a while; there was a very wide range of skill levels among the guests, and everybody was willing to help out if I didn't know the steps, and at least courtly dances have the advantage of slightly slower pace than a typical ceilidh. And there was a delicious dinner and more fun people to talk to (many of the same people I'd seen at other events in the week, in fact).
And I rounded off the week with Sunday lunch at parents', followed by a bit of chatting and a bit of visiting an acquaintance who is unfortunately in hospital after a minor stroke. At least she seemed in good spirits and not too incapacitated.
So yes, a week of good food and good conversation and sunshine and time in the same place as friends was just what I needed, I must say.
In unrelated, but very exciting news, my dear friend MK announced the birth of his daughter today! His son, just about the first baby to be born to my social circle, will turn 12 in a few weeks, and now he has a little tiny sister. Yay!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-22 10:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-23 01:49 pm (UTC)I think this week is a example of the flaws in my academic's attitude of "oh, I'll just pick this up as I go along, training is for wimps". People who are mourning could really do with someone with appropriate pastoral skills, I feel.