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livSo I was born just about a year before the end of a decade, meaning that I'm inclined to look back on decades when I reach a round number birthday rather than when the calendar turns over to a year ending in zero. Rather than repeat what I wrote when I turned 40, let me talk about what I didn't do in the 2010s.
I didn't budget. From the start of the decade I earned enough that I never really had to go without anything I wanted, or compromise on a cheaper version. I didn't buy a whole lot of seriously luxury items, and I know plenty of people supporting dependants on a similar salary to mine who struggle, but I spent the 2010s financially comfortable in a way I never really expected when I went into academia.
Relatedly, I didn't take any menial jobs or filler jobs or temp jobs. I started a really interesting job as a lecturer a few months before the start of 2010, and moved to a really interesting job as an educationalist exactly 8 years later, and I got the best job I could never have imagined a few weeks before the start of the twenties.
I didn't move countries, in stark contrast to the 2000s when I did so multiple times. I appear to have settled in England now, and I didn't achieve escape velocity when things went tits-up politically, so I expect I'll probably stay here for the next decade too.
On the other hand, I didn't make any real scientific breakthroughs. Despite spending the 2000s training to be a scientist and most of the 2010s trying to actually be one, it didn't work out. I don't have to say that I didn't publish anything, because once I escaped from my conventional academic job, I published quite a bit of educational research in the last year of the decade.
I didn't end any relationships. Instead I added some new ones, spending the second half of the decade as a very happy member of a quad. There was a time when two of my partners redefined their relationship with each other in a way that felt somewhat like a break-up, but I didn't go through any actual literal break-ups. I suppose when I got married I was intending to remove break-ups from my life, but I wasn't completely certain that intention would come to pass.
I didn't get pregnant or otherwise become a parent, which is in accordance with my life plan. But I did end up with my partners' children as a significant part of my life, which was really even more unexpected than a serious relationship with multiple people.
I didn't read 500 books, which is what I would have predicted based on the rate I was reading at the start of the decade.
Really, the decade kind of divides into two halves. The first half, I was trying to establish a scientific career, and I was living long distance but very much entangled with my life partnerjack. The second half, I was getting myself out of the ruins of that unsuccessful career attempt, and moved back to Cambridge (in stages, I bought a house here and started spending all my spare time here in 2014, then actually properly moved back here in 2017). Now I have three partners who live in the same city, and my career builds on my scientific background but is primarily about teaching, which was always my first love. Politically, well, the second half of the decade has been incredibly worse than the first half, but I'm still here and my life still works really well and suits me, at least for now.
I didn't budget. From the start of the decade I earned enough that I never really had to go without anything I wanted, or compromise on a cheaper version. I didn't buy a whole lot of seriously luxury items, and I know plenty of people supporting dependants on a similar salary to mine who struggle, but I spent the 2010s financially comfortable in a way I never really expected when I went into academia.
Relatedly, I didn't take any menial jobs or filler jobs or temp jobs. I started a really interesting job as a lecturer a few months before the start of 2010, and moved to a really interesting job as an educationalist exactly 8 years later, and I got the best job I could never have imagined a few weeks before the start of the twenties.
I didn't move countries, in stark contrast to the 2000s when I did so multiple times. I appear to have settled in England now, and I didn't achieve escape velocity when things went tits-up politically, so I expect I'll probably stay here for the next decade too.
On the other hand, I didn't make any real scientific breakthroughs. Despite spending the 2000s training to be a scientist and most of the 2010s trying to actually be one, it didn't work out. I don't have to say that I didn't publish anything, because once I escaped from my conventional academic job, I published quite a bit of educational research in the last year of the decade.
I didn't end any relationships. Instead I added some new ones, spending the second half of the decade as a very happy member of a quad. There was a time when two of my partners redefined their relationship with each other in a way that felt somewhat like a break-up, but I didn't go through any actual literal break-ups. I suppose when I got married I was intending to remove break-ups from my life, but I wasn't completely certain that intention would come to pass.
I didn't get pregnant or otherwise become a parent, which is in accordance with my life plan. But I did end up with my partners' children as a significant part of my life, which was really even more unexpected than a serious relationship with multiple people.
I didn't read 500 books, which is what I would have predicted based on the rate I was reading at the start of the decade.
Really, the decade kind of divides into two halves. The first half, I was trying to establish a scientific career, and I was living long distance but very much entangled with my life partner
jack. The second half, I was getting myself out of the ruins of that unsuccessful career attempt, and moved back to Cambridge (in stages, I bought a house here and started spending all my spare time here in 2014, then actually properly moved back here in 2017). Now I have three partners who live in the same city, and my career builds on my scientific background but is primarily about teaching, which was always my first love. Politically, well, the second half of the decade has been incredibly worse than the first half, but I'm still here and my life still works really well and suits me, at least for now.