liv: oil painting of seated nude with her back to the viewer (body)
[personal profile] liv
Two months.

9 weeks of pandemic.
56 days of lockdown and isolating at home with [personal profile] jack.

I had 17 days of vague but new-to-me symptoms on and off near the start of lockdown. Then 17 days where I had nothing worse than hay fever, and now 13 days where my lungs have been noticeably uncomfortable and I have flashes of dizziness. I don't think this is Covid-19. Yes, I have read the articles about the the long tail version, but all the people who have been ill for over a month had much worse symptoms in the first place.

It's day 39 of the Omer.

Mostly I am grumpy at the government. We had an annoying bank holiday on 8 May, where they moved the vaguely socialist early May bank holiday to a vaguely jingoistic anniversary of VE day. And spend the whole week leading up to the bank holiday weekend hinting to the media that there was going to be some kind of lifting of the lockdown rules on Sunday, and trying to convince people that it was their patriotic duty to have street parties on Friday. I have no idea how many extra deaths resulted but I'm massively annoyed about the whole thing.

We mostly hid from the celebrations. [personal profile] jack and I went for a long-ish bike ride when the weather was nice, just along the busway which is a bit crowded in the Kings Hedges to Histon area but pretty empty along the fields beyond that. We played some bridge with OSOs and just about managed a distanced game of Gloomhaven with [personal profile] cjwatson. We had a camera on the map, and had carefully transferred C's player pack to him, and an audio connection, and it wasn't perfect but it just about worked. And I had virtual tea with [personal profile] simont and I attended virtual shul and taught Sunday school as usual and it was generally quite nice.

Sunday evening we had the much-hyped prime ministerial announcement. It had basically no content; the already confusing rules about meeting one person at a time outdoors were made more confusing. There was some bluster about people going back to work which resulted in some confused people trying to turn up at their workplaces on Monday morning but no actual change. And no mention of masks in the speech itself but a very gentle suggestion that maybe we should try to wear them if we can buried most of the way down a long document released in the next few days. Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland promptly clarified that their nations shouldn't listen to England and absolutely nothing had changed in the underlying epidemiological situation.

Tuesday was 33 Omer, marking the anniversary of the lifting of a plague in the first century. I was sad about the complete lack of any plague lifting, but [personal profile] ghoti_mhic_uait cheered me up by having a barbecue anyway in name of the remembrance that plagues do eventually end. I did the Mass Observation diary; I'll post it here but under lock because the diaries are supposed to be anonymous.

It was cold all week, but I think staying indoors was a mistake, it was very bad for my mood. In hindsight, I should have accepted that it happened to be colder than I expect for May rather than resenting the weather, and just put on more layers.

Thursday there was an email, and Friday an all-staff 'Town Hall' speech discussing my institution's plans for eventually returning to in-person working. I'm reassured that they have a specific plan, they've put serious thought into how we can work safely, like how many people can fit in rooms while keeping 2m apart, how toilets and canteens and so on are going to work. But the upshot is, those of use who basically have office jobs should probably expect to be working from home until the end of the year.

I hasten to clarify, I'm not surprised by this. I don't expect that disclaimer will prevent comments about how only inferior sorts of people feel bad about any further negative developments since we first heard the news from Wuhan. But anyway, I've been struggling emotionally with actually considering the prospect of being stuck at home all the way through the end of the year. It's possible we'll have more scope to do social things at some point before then, and it's true that being at home and not having to commute and mingle with strangers is probably safer than the alternative. But also the government are flailing so much that I don't actually expect any of the public health measures to be in place that would actually allow relaxing restrictions. We're not going to get a sensible testing regimen, we're not going to get a proper system for contact tracing and allowing people to isolate sensibly. We're not going to increase capacity in the health system to deal with any second wave. I don't think we're even going to get to the point where the restrictions are communicated and enforced effectively.

So the weekend was kind of rubbish. I did go to the virtual service, and my partners joined me on Zoom which was lovely. And [personal profile] wildeabandon's Good Omens readthrough was a definite high point. [personal profile] jack and I played Newt and Anathema in the delightful episode 4 (the one with the sex scene) and it was so lovely to hang out with friends. Sunday school was full of minor tech fail, and my 9-year-olds aren't really mature enough to troubleshoot collaboratively so they mostly just took advantage of it to mess around. And I ended up bickering with [personal profile] jack over the timing of lunch. He had the sensible plan of going out for a walk in the fields behind the busway; it was absolutely glorious, with the sunshine back and everything green and shady and beautiful, and we even saw a hawk. But I was still really grumpy. Eventually eating [personal profile] ghoti_mhic_uait's homemade mojito icecream and a call with my siblings for my sister's birthday mostly pulled me out of it.

Basically I feel like we've sacrificed all fun and in person connection for two months, and we're going to have to sacrifice at least the summer and probably the autumn as well, for essentially nothing. There have already been up to 60,000 deaths, and there are going to be more; we haven't usefully flattened the curve, we haven't bought time because we haven't done anything with the time to make things safer once lockdown finishes. Whenever that may be – it's going to be both too early, because the virus is still widespread, and too late because we'll miss out on everything we might have been looking forward to all year.

This week I have a horrible four-day Zoom workshop, which is only indirectly relevant to me, so I'm rather dreading that, which doesn't help.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-18 08:32 pm (UTC)
angelofthenorth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] angelofthenorth
Hugs. Looking forward to talking to you tomorrow

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-18 08:42 pm (UTC)
monanotlisa: symbol, image, ttrpg, party, pun about rolling dice and getting rolling (Default)
From: [personal profile] monanotlisa
I think this is the truly depressing fact about so much of the US, and most of the UK: It was perhaps not quite for naught, but it certainly was too little, too late...and actively sabotaged by the US Federal government, of course.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-18 08:55 pm (UTC)
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
From: [personal profile] redbird
*much sympathy*

I have some hope that we in Massachusetts have used the time (they're just starting to lift restrictions, with an actual plan and checkpoints), but to some extent that depends on the country around us.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-18 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ewt
It is super hard.

Worth a telephone appointment with a GP about the dizziness, maybe, to do some disambiguation?

A four-day Zoom workshop sounds horrible, I hope you are in a position to not have to be completely attentive for all of it. Ugh.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-18 09:41 pm (UTC)
hilarita: stoat hiding under a log (Default)
From: [personal profile] hilarita
We get to be cooped up *and* have a high death rate because the government have wasted time. I'm also intensely frustrated.

I feel you on the Zoom thing. The first week of June, we have a full week of Zoom meetings, which will start at 0700 BST, because time zones are never ever your friend. (We do get to stop earlier in the afternoon, though.) And we get to warm up for this the previous week, with 3 half-days of Zoom meetings, all starting at 0700. The technology exists, and we're not afraid to use it...

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-18 10:05 pm (UTC)
worlds_of_smoke: A picture of a brilliantly colored waterfall cascading into a river (Default)
From: [personal profile] worlds_of_smoke
-offers hugs and love- I understand this feeling completely. <3

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-19 09:56 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
We're not going to increase capacity in the health system to deal with any second wave

Surely that's what the Nightingale hospitals are, extra capacity to deal with the second wave? That's what the lockdown was supposed to buy time for — increasing capacity so the hospitals aren't overwhelmed — and it's been done.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-19 10:54 am (UTC)
halojedha: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halojedha
I feel these feels. What you're feeling is a totally normal and rational response to the situation. It sucks to have a government who are mishandling things and gaslighting everyone about it even more than a pandemic would suck anyway.

It was good to see you at the readthrough; I liked your Anathema very much.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-19 04:10 pm (UTC)
simont: A picture of me in 2016 (Default)
From: [personal profile] simont
And I had virtual tea with [personal profile] simont

That reminds me – the persistent Jitsi disconnections we had on that occasion might have been my fault. I've identified an intermittent network oddity on my laptop that causes problems just like that. It's easy to put right if I notice it's happened in advance, but when we had our call, I didn't check for it.

I'm now trying to get into the habit of checking for it before starting any video call. So if you're still up for trying again, then it might work better next time!

(Even more likely if you remind me about this at the start of the next call :-)

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-19 08:52 pm (UTC)
sfred: Fred wearing a hat in front of a trans flag (Default)
From: [personal profile] sfred
You and [personal profile] jack were absolutely lovely as Anathema and Newt, and it was great to see you too.

I hope you feel better in the lungs and dizziness departments, soon. I hope, too, that you feel better in mood, even though the reasons for grump are totally valid.
<3

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-20 03:42 am (UTC)
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
From: [personal profile] silveradept
Glad that you have people to be around and talk to, but equally aggravated that you seem to have leadership that refuses to do anything useful and instead is chasing what looks good to their base.

(no subject)

Date: 2020-05-20 08:59 am (UTC)
cesy: "Cesy" - An old-fashioned quill and ink (Default)
From: [personal profile] cesy
Yeah, this sucks.

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