liv | Career change

Right. So. I've been hinting about this and talking about it under lock for ages, but now it's official, so I can tell you all: I'm leaving my job at the end of the month to retrain as a Reform rabbi.

I led most of the service for my bat mitzvah in 1991, rather than just reading from the Torah which is what most people do. Pretty much everybody asked me if I was going to be a rabbi when I grew up, apart from my great-uncle who asked me if I was going to be a rebbitzen, ie marry a rabbi. I've been doing plenty of public facing Jewish community stuff since then, leading services, teaching, representing the community at interfaith events and so on. So people keep asking me if I am or am planning to become a rabbi, and for years the answer was no, no, I'm a scientist.

In 2012 I got married to

jack who isn't Jewish. I was still hoping to make the academic research career work at that point, but also I was aware that being married to a non-Jew would mean I couldn't be considered for rabbinic training. I did consciously give up that possibility, even though I didn' really think it was something that was ever likely to happen. What I didn't expect was that the denomination I belong to would change in the subsequent ten years. In 2019 the principal of the UK rabbinic training seminary tried to headhunt me. I said, you know I have several non-Jewish partners, right? She was a little taken aback but assured me they still want me to apply to the college. I didn't, partly because I was in the middle of starting a new job and my partner had just discovered she was pregnant and a bunch of other stuff was going on. And then there was a pandemic, obviously.

I did in fact decide to apply late in 2021, partly because it was becoming obvious that my work had no options for career progression. I like what I do, but I can't see myself doing the same thing for the rest of my working life. I was completely open about my relationship situation in my application, and I expected to be rejected, but in fact was called for interview in early 2022, and then offered a place and even, to my even greater surprise, a bursary to pay my tuition fees and a contribution towards living costs over the five year training programme, in exchange for a commitment to work for Movement communities for five years after graduating. But for various reasons I was the only person offered a place that year. So I asked to defer to 2023 intake, because I couldn't face going through the whole intense training completely solo.

I'm extremely glad I did, because firstly it gave me a year and a half to finish off some of the major projects I've been involved in at work, including the amazing multinational Covid training programme. And secondly, because this April I met my cohort, and instead of being on my own, I'm one of five people who are all really interesting and really... not typical of future rabbis in different ways. I'm not the oldest nor probably the weirdest in the group. I kept quiet about it because the news is supposed to be embargoed until the official announcement goes out, but now, here it is: I'm going to rabbinical school!

Having all carefully crafted our statements to come out to exactly the right degree about our various identities, we were a bit annoyed to find that the College had edited out everything about our personal lives. Hence R' Deborah's statement about the anniversary of ordaining the first out LGBTQ+ rabbis in Europe looks like a complete non-sequitur. But we cover most letters of the acronym between the five of us. I'm also a little annoyed that it's now politically correct to say "LGBTQiA+" even when talking about individuals, (and no, I don't know why the 'i' is lower-cased) because actually what happened 35 years ago was the ordination of the first out lesbian rabbis, specifically. The Jewish Chronicle is even worse, they managed to leave out Jennifer's picture and generally hacked up the press release in a way that makes it more of a narrative (Jewish News more or less just published the PR unaltered) but also very confusing as to which bio is attached to which person...

I probably won't be the first Reform rabbi ordained in the UK with a non-Jewish spouse because there's a whole lot of caveats about how exactly you define "first". But I might well be the first out polyam rabbi; it remains to be seen. If all goes well, and I can't really imagine this as a future event that will actually happen, I'll be ordained in 2028 shortly before my 50^th birthday.

Sorry for being mysterious for ages, I just didn't want to put anything on the public internet until it was properly official.

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radiantfracture

Congratulations! Your cohort sounds fantastic.

liv

They really are. Just amazing people, I can't wait to learn with them and argue with them and change the world with them. I got so lucky with that deferral, it was a real gamble, but wow.

iddewes

Hope it all goes well! I’m glad to hear they have got more open minded now about who can train to be a rabbi.

Yeah. I'm already getting people in mixed or unconventional relationships who feel more accepted knowing that I'm about to start training. I didn't want to be "the first" but I think it's going to be worth it.

independence1776

Mazel tov! I admit I had wondered if that was what was going on.

Thank you! I'm super terrible at keeping secrets, it's a good thing I'm going to be a rabbi not a spy.

(no subject)

wildeabandon - Date: 2023-06-04 06:11 pm (UTC) - Expand

hatam_soferet - Date: 2023-06-04 09:21 pm (UTC) - Expand

conuly

How wonderful!

wychwood

Congratulations (again)!

wendylove

Mazel tov! And b'shaah tovah for good measure. I was ordained as a rabbi in April and was slightly shocked to find that the ritual (unlike, I should say, all my various academic commencements) felt genuinely meaningful. Also you're reminding me that I should post on DW once in awhile!

Wait, what?! You were recently ordained?!!! Many many congratulations, and I'm fascinated how that came about. Did you quit academia or are you dual-classing?

altamira16

I thought you were a rabbi already because of all the religious activities that you write about.

Congratulations.

You are far from the first person to assume that. I feel a bit silly because I've spent the last three decades (!) telling everybody, you can totally be fully involved in religious life and leadership without being a rabbi, and now, guess what? Anyway, thank you.

vatine

I don't know what the correct protocol is, but... Congratulations, I am convinced you will do well and be a positive influence on your fellow believers.

I'm not even sure there is a correct protocol for the response to hearing that someone got into rab school. But thank you for your kind and spontaneous words.

vatine - Date: 2023-06-05 04:49 am (UTC) - Expand

cynthia1960 - Date: 2023-06-05 10:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

vyvyanx

Congratulations! It sounds wonderfully exciting.

crystalpyramid

This is so exciting! Congratulations and best of luck on this next journey!

misbegotten

That is wonderful! I hope the school is rewarding, challenging (in the good way), and fun!

Thank you for this lovely wish. I do think it will be all those things; in some ways this feels like a two-part life change, first I get to be a student again for five years, and then I emerge from my chrysalis and start actually living as a rabbi. But they're a bit muddled together because I'm picking up loads of visiting preacher work, even now before the official start of the course, and I'm sure that will only grow.

syderia

Congratulations!

slashmarks

Congratulations, and good luck!

ewt

I am so pleased about this!

nou

This is a very good thing!

redbird

Congratulations (again), on the plan generally and on your excellent cohor.

They are so cool! Both as individuals and the amazing range of perspectives and experiences. We have a very lively group chat already and a great dynamic.

anais_pf

This all sounds so wonderful! What a great group of people you'll be studying with! I'm happy for you.

It really is wonderful. Also scary, but really wonderful. And I got so lucky with my fellow students!

azurelunatic

Congratulations! I'm glad you can finally announce it!

Yes, the embargo was quite frustrating. I mean I know why it's there, and I'm in a weird situation with deferring instead of starting the autumn of the same year I was interviewed, but it really has dragged on.

landofnowhere

Congrats! (My paternal grandfather was a Reform rabbi, although because he died when my dad was 10 and my aunt was a baby, the congregation split after his death and my grandmother didn't take sides, and I'm the kid of a mixed marriage, I didn't get exposed to that much Jewish heritage through my family.)

Well, that's an amazing story. I am always boggled about how these community splits can reverberate down the generations... We think there are not many rabbis in any of my ancestral lines, but possibly some distant relatives of my dad's might have been.