Mission accomplished

[liv]

So, for my birthday my Granny gave me a big lecture about how horrible my clothes are and a significant sum of money with which to remedy this. She specified that I'm not allowed to buy old rags from charity shops in order to spend the remainder on books.

This is the explanation for the rare event that occurred today: I went clothes shopping. Dutiful grand-daughter that I am, I spent this morning visiting TKMaxx and HM and Marks & Spenser and New Look and BHS and Shoe Factory and Shoe Zone and Top Shop and Dorothy Perkins and Internaçionale and Evans and Bon Marché and Primark and probably a few more that I've forgotten. I did not buy one single CD or book, and I did not even set foot in any charity shops. (I didn't even manage to get a 2005 calendar, since the kinds of shops that sell them mostly do not sell clothes.)

Solid, square-ish black laceup shoes with a sole that looks like it's made out of a car tire. Two of those lacy woollen shawls which are fashionable at the moment and which I rather like, one white and one dark green. A black and white horizontal striped poncho. A long t-shirt sort of nightie, pale blue with a stroky design sewn on. A grey-green zip-up fleece top. A jumper with blurry bands of pinkish, purplish and reddish colours designed to look hand-dyed. A dark red long sleeved t-shirt with a band under the breasts that suggests slightly empire-line. A purple long sleeved t-shirt with a square neck. Two plain, ordinary long sleeved t-shirts in purple and dark green respectively. A light sweatshirt in purply blue with some fairly subtle embroidery. A wine-red corduroy skirt, calf-length with buttons down the front and a nice belt. A new winter coat (since mine is falling apart), matt black waterproof, three-quarter length with a quilted lining and a delightfully stroky fur-trimmed hood.

It's probably not the best idea to pick a day when one is feeling particularly male to go clothes shopping. Almost everything I looked at I rejected on the grounds it was too girly. (Or is women's fashion just very girly at the moment? There seems to be an extraordinary amount of frills and floral designs and pastel pink and baby blue on the racks!) And my normal attitude that clothes shopping is dull and all the stuff is pretty much the same anyway and as long as I'm not breaking any public decency standards why can't I just go on wearing what I already have was even more pronounced than usual.

Plus, I kept drifting into the men's sections of the shops. I don't in principle object to wearing men's clothes, but it's very unlikely that anything designed for men will fit me; I'm short with big hips and sizeable breasts. It's shoes particularly that annoy me; men's shoes can be elegant and still have broad toes and flat heels, whereas women's flat shoes are without exception either frumpy or clumpy. But my feet are small even by women's standards, so no sneakily wearing men's shoes for me.

Given I was in such male headspace, I decided it probably wasn't a good time to visit lingerie departments. I really need to replace my defunct and much-missed Marvellous Velvet Bra, but velvet bras are a fairly rare commodity and Marvellous bras (the kind that give me cleavage without being viciously uncomfortable) are even rarer. I didn't succeed in this mission today, because as soon as I set eyes on lingerie I was all, ewww, lacy frilly girl crap. So I figured I wasn't likely to come away with anything remotely sexy, and I have plenty of plain, functional, comfortable underwear anyway. (Note: I'm sure men do exist who are capable of buying sexy women's underwear. It's specific to me personally that I feel I need to be in a female mood to be able to do it.)

Anyway, I came home, dumped this ridiculous number of bags, and went on eBay to buy myself this pen. It's a Waterman Reflex, which having poked around on various pen websites I concluded is most like the lovely pen which Spanish M gave me a decade or so ago, and which converted me wholly from the Parkers I used to use. I lost that pen (I have had horrendous luck with all M's gifts) but I've been a Waterman girl ever since.

I need a decent fountain pen, and truepenny infected me with pen lust. And most importantly, it mitigated the way I was feeling about spending a month's food budget on clothes in the space of about three hours. Eep. I would say that I'm contributing to the consumer economy by indulging in the traditional January sales spending spree, except that I probably shan't buy any more new clothes for another year or so, so I expect the consumer economy doesn't love me very much.

Comments

[compilerbitch.livejournal.com]

I generally require extreme force in order to make me go clothes shopping. I truly hate the experience -- everything I like is generally too small, the wrong shape, out of my price range or some combination of all three. As for shoes, as I'm a size 9 there's not a huge amount of choice, and my arthritis gives me bad problems with both achilles tendons so I am pretty much stuck with wearing walking boots.

Nevertheless, I did go to the Evans sale at the weekend and came off two jumpers and a cardigan better off, without too much pain being involved on doseybat's part in getting me into the shop in the first place.

[liv]

I generally require extreme force in order to make me go clothes shopping. I truly hate the experience
I can imagine you must have a much harder time with clothes shopping than I do. At least once I manage to admit to being female, I'm a fairly standard size and shape. And physically, doing lots of walking around on pavements carrying too many bags is something I can cope with.

Nevertheless, I did go to the Evans sale at the weekend and came off two jumpers and a cardigan better off,
Evans was quite impressing me today actually. I got my coat there; there were other places that had similar things slightly cheaper but nothing in my size, nothing above an extremely mean 16. I usually at least try Evans, but sometimes they have absolutely nothing tasteful, and this season they seem to be better.

without too much pain being involved on doseybat's part
Good to hear. I'm sure she's an excellent influence on you clothes wise. Wasn't that lovely dark red top of yours Bat's idea?

[compilerbitch.livejournal.com]

Yes, indeed it was. It was actually a present from her, from Hampstead Bazaar. I love it to bits -- it's definitely my #1 favourite item of clothing.

[doseybat.livejournal.com]

go to Hampstead Bazaar..
go to Hampstead Bazaar..
go to Hampstead Bazaar..

[liv]

Well, if I lived anywhere near there I would happily succumb to your suggestion!

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I'm sure men do exist who are capable of buying sexy women's underwear.

There was an article in the Gazette about a shop opening in Montreal, called something like Juicyfroots [ it was a weirdly mangled spelling and I'm not sure I've got the right one ] which exists, apparently, to sell women's clothes in an environment geared to be comfortable for men, illustrated with a phot of a hefty chap trying on high heels. Which stuck me as a rather civilised idea, this city's big enough to, and culturally such that, there's probably a reasonable demand for same, and I suspect such men as you describe would be most easily found there, were one for any reason desirous of finding them.

Since living in Montreal, I have actually taken to wearing something other than black jeans with my t-shirts, but only when the weather's cold enough to justify fleece pants.

[liv]

to sell women's clothes in an environment geared to be comfortable for men
What a lovely idea. I'm really charmed that such a place exists and is treating such men as a potential market rather than as deviants.

I suspect such men as you describe would be most easily found there, were one for any reason desirous of finding them.
That's not entirely what I meant. I was self-editing as I wrote the post, thinking if I said I was feeling too male to buy lingerie, someone would call me sexist and point to examples of men who are entirely capable of buying frilly lacy girly underwear. So I thought I should clarify.

wearing something other than black jeans with my t-shirts
This sounds like a very sensible clothing strategy. The trouble is I hate jeans, and I've never found any substitute that is equally durable without being equally uncomfortable. I'm quite happy in principle to keep wearing the same few clothes all the time, except that if I do that, the clothes get worn out after a few years and thus annoy my grandmother.

[lyssiae.livejournal.com]

She specified that I'm not allowed to buy old rags from charity shops in order to spend the remainder on books.

This made me giggle. That's so what I do!

[liv]

Well, it's true that if it were my money, and if I felt I absolutely had to buy clothes, I probably would buy them in charity shops and spend the savings on books. However, I consider that the clothes I get from charity shops are perfectly decent and respectable, it's only Granny who thinks that all second hand clothes are old rags.

[hatam-soferet.livejournal.com]

I remember finding rather super velvet bras in Ann Summers once. They didn't have them in my size, but the person I was with got one and seemed to enjoy it. But I appreciate you weren't in a bras mood. In any case: Good haul! Specially skirt sounds lovely.

And you are infecting me with pen lust now. I usually write in pencil these days, to facilitate alteration when I realise ohhhh duh he meant the BARREL not the SIEVE, but mmmm pens mmmmmmmmm.

[liv]

I remember finding rather super velvet bras in Ann Summers once.
Ann Summers is one of the last places I would expect to find decent anything. But admittedly my ex-Marvellous Velvet Bra came from a fairly unlikely place too, so who knows.

the person I was with got one and seemed to enjoy it.
Velvet bras are indeed very enjoyable. I'm most annoyed with mine for breaking. Because broken, it's just a uselessly small piece of velvet.

But I appreciate you weren't in a bras mood.
To tell the truth I wasn't in any sort of mood by the time I reached the lingerie department, I just wanted to go home and drink tea. It's annoying because I set out with the goal of replacing the Marvellous Velvet Bra, but hey.

Good haul! Specially skirt sounds lovely.
The skirt is indeed specially lovely. It's very me, feminine without being girly, and modest without being middle-aged. Much love to Bon Marché for selling sensibly priced clothes that I actually like.

you are infecting me with pen lust now.
Oh good. I think pen-lust is something that should definitely be shared around.

I usually write in pencil these days, to facilitate alteration when I realise ohhhh duh he meant the BARREL not the SIEVE
Such a yeshiva bocher!

but mmmm pens mmmmmmmmm.
Seriously nice pens in America seem to be remarkably affordable. I very nearly bought the one truepenny referred to, except that with S&H it is no longer sensibly priced. It's the sort of thing I could reasonably get you as a present, if I knew your address and had some idea of your tastes (hint hint!)

[hatam-soferet.livejournal.com]

Seriously nice pens in America seem to be remarkably affordable. I very nearly bought the one truepenny referred to, except that with S&H it is no longer sensibly priced. It's the sort of thing I could reasonably get you as a present, if I knew your address and had some idea of your tastes (hint hint!)

Well, I could get one for you, since I live right next to the shop! I'm sure I owe you a present more than you owe me a present. Actually I have an idea for you, it just requires a trip to the East Side.

I've been hunting on and off for a nice pen with a decent fine-italic nib for ages - I had a calligraphy one, but as a "calligraphy" pen it wasn't designed for actual writing serious amounts, and the nib section kept snapping at the screw thread. And I have one designed for writing, but while the width is about right, the depth is massive, so the resulting line is really fat.

Waterman Phileas

[calbruin.livejournal.com]

My latest obsession. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/calbruin/108142.html)

Re: Waterman Phileas

[liv]

Ooh. Nice. They are indeed very obsessible!

May I introduce

[menin-aeide.livejournal.com]

The perfect bra (http://www.dim.fr). (Click on "La Moderne". It's a Flash pain-in-the-neck, and in French, but worth it).

Re: May I introduce

[menin-aeide.livejournal.com]

Ehm, that's the blonde - the second woman from the left.

Re: May I introduce

[liv]

Thank you for the link. I did manage to make the Flash work for me, but it didn't seem very informative other than a series of images of models wearing the bra in question. Can you tell me what's so wonderful about this bra?

Re: May I introduce

[menin-aeide.livejournal.com]

(a) You don't notice you're wearing it (i.e. incredibly comfortable).
(b) Other people don't notice you're wearing it (i.e. seamless).
(c) (and this one's a big advantage for me) You can wash it in the washing machine without further ado. It won't distort, nor will the underwire poke out, or anything nasty.

I rather disliked the scalloped border, but it's turned out to be my best bra ever. I'm afraid I'm going to wear the two I own to shreds.

perfect bra

[liv]

Thanks for the explanation. I have always been against underwired bras, but if it turns out that it's possible for them to be comfortable, they might be the way forward.

[sovevuni.livejournal.com]

"She specified that I'm not allowed to buy old rags from charity shops in order to spend the remainder on books."

That sounds familiar... :)

I hate shopping for clothes. No, not hate really - but I find it extremely boring. Luckily there's a monthly women's magazine here devoted entirely to shopping (clothes & cosmetics). Every issue focuses on various clothes, sometimes it's lingerie, sometimes, say, pullovers. They also give prices and names of stores you can buy the particular product. I like it because I can choose whatever I like, go to the particular shop and buy this particular thing without having to look through everything else they've got. So it works for me.

[liv]

I hate shopping for clothes.
I basically dislike shopping in general. But clothes have the added negative that I hate spending so much money on things which give me so little pleasure compared to, say, books. With some kinds of shopping at least you come back with cool stuff!

I find it extremely boring.
Yes, and it's boring in a way that requires concentration, so it doesn't allow you to read at the same time.

I can choose whatever I like, go to the particular shop and buy this particular thing
That sounds like an idea. Shopping would be better if I planned more in advance, that's for sure.

[wychwood]

re: liking men's shoes but having small feet:

Have you tried looking in the childrens section? They often go up to size 7 or 8, and boys' styles quite often include some nice ones :) In fact, my current (now dying) pair of work shoes are from the boys' section of Marks and Sparks.

[shreena.livejournal.com]

That is an inspired suggestion. I rather like mens' shoes too but also have small feet. Never thought of boys' shoes..

[liv]

That is an inspired suggestion.
My sentiment exactly. Thank you, wychwood, I may well try that in future!

[kathrid.livejournal.com]

Now you see, if my parents (or grandparents) did this I'd head straight to the local goth shops. And then, being me, I'd take forever to choose just one item and then decide I didn't want anything else, but it's the principle of the thing...

Much amused by your 'mens cloths/shoes are so much better and without social constraints' rant. As some one pointed out earlier, a man who wears womens clothing (or shoes) is regarded as a pervert/freak, and from my point of view, mens clothing is incredibly staid. If you want to look good as a man it's a smart suit or nothing, basically, and smart casual is 'shirt plus trousers, and not trainers'. We are tragically lacking a range of garments, to the extent that I sometimes think of cross-dressing (or at least using womens boots) just to escape the monotony. Plus I'd look good in some things, I'm sure.

Of course, actually doing so would increase the already unusually high chance of being mistaken for a woman. You'd think people wouldn't assume things just 'cause you've got long hair, but once again society intervenes. It's a shame you can't look different without being looked down upon.

clothes and gender

[liv]

Oh, very nice rant, kathrid!

I didn't mean to imply that men's clothes are better in general. Men's shoes are better, but the main point of my post was that when I'm feeling in a male mood is a bad time to go shopping for women's clothes.

I agree with you, it completely sucks that women can cross dress while men can't (not without severe stigma, anyway). It is also very annoying for men who are interested in clothes that they don't have anything like the range of options that women have. If I were biologically male and had a female-inclined day I would be far, far more annoyed than I am as the situation stands!

It's amazing how much people judge gender on length of hair. I never get mistaken for a guy, however unfeminine my manners or clothes, because my hair is long. So yes, you have my sympathy indeed.

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

If you want to look good as a man it's a smart suit or nothing, basically, and smart casual is 'shirt plus trousers, and not trainers'. We are tragically lacking a range of garments, to the extent that I sometimes think of cross-dressing (or at least using womens boots) just to escape the monotony.

Have you considered cross-cultural dressing? At one stage I was considering getting one of those smart Chinese shirts with the decidedly non-Western collar just to make the point...

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I sometimes go out in my silks to make precisely that point. [ Red on black dragons and phoenizes sort of pajama suit, plus black on black long kimono with red lining. Sort of like a Sith Lord with exquisite taste. ] Mind you, in this city the climate's suited to that for about two weeks in spring and two in autumn every year.

[blue-mai.livejournal.com]

i've been rather allergic to shopping for months now - resulting in a slightly embarassing quantity of xmas presents for my family (i didn't have time to make stuff which i usually do), but the last few weeks has seen a definite increase in my material possessions: on hearing that i wanted a proper smart work shirt that i actually liked and fitted, my big sister took me on a day out in some huge retail park place. we were there 5 hours and didnt make it all the way round... having a definite purchasing aim made it a lot less painfull. i did buy 2 nice shirts - from (wait for it) ... ben sherman. i know. i almost refused to go in. they are nice though. flowery. and in sale too. (heheh there's not much interest in flowery pink men shirts in ben sherman - bonus!). i've actually recently settled on a good work-look, after battling with it for a few years. see my job usually involves looking stylish rather than outright smart. depends. but i have to feel comfortable. not that the clothes themselves have to be comfortable, if you know what i mean. and it's smart shirts tucked into less smart things. works for me - except the shirts are hard to come by. at the mo there seem to be a lot of nice mens shirts on the high street, (good patterns and cuts) but they just dont quite fit me right, being female and all, but they do fit a lot better than girls shirts, generally. i'm just not shaped like that. i have shoulders...
i think i might get a tailor-made shirt at some point... but it's definitely less urgent now with the new off-the-peg ones. it's a slippery slope though - i'll be fighting my way into nasty clubs and throwing beer glasses at people next....
oh and i'm a size9 in shoes too. i used to find it hard - partly cos i really like shoes - but lots of high street shops actually do bigger sizes now. or the size8s are bigger. but i've gone off shoe-fetishing. i think i have enough now.
oh and i bought lots of cds recently too....
anyway well done on the haul.

[liv]

Wow, I quite like the idea of your wearing flowery pink men's shirts, that somehow seems rather you. And well done for braving the retail park; I think even with a sister protecting me and a definite purpose in mind I would have been too chicken for that.

You have an eye for clothes and creating your own style. I like the description of your combination of smart, stylish and comfortable, but from the sound of it still very original. Me, I'm still struggling to work out what aspects of conventional clothing will suit me, let alone creating my own look.