Welcome, new folk!

[liv]

Wow, doing the friending meme is proving an amazing experience! Nearly 1200 comments at the last count, and I know I can't take personal credit for that, but I'm still incredibly excited about all these cool people starting conversations right here in my journal.

I'm way behind in reading through the comments, looking for people to add, and leaving notes to say that I've done so, but I've already discovered some really fascinating people and journals. And lots and lots of people have subscribed to read my own blatherings. (I don't know how many because I'm so overwhelmed I haven't even had time to count the subscribers!) A very warm welcome to all of you. By the way, I won't at all feel offended if after a few weeks you decide I'm not really your cup of tea after all; it's always open season on subscribing or unsubscribing here.

One thing that really stood out to me looking over the comments is how many people define themselves as cis-sexual. I think that says something really positive about the general attitude here at DW, that people are so aware of these questions. I am in fact cis myself, but I didn't think to say so as like many cis people I don't regard that as key to my identity. (I'm also white, female and bisexual, but I don't see those as the most important categories either.)

The other consequence that happened was that I decided to follow up by posting something controversial about feminism. I didn't quite know what to expect, putting out such political stuff in front of a few dozen total strangers as opposed to my usual audience of people I either know or have second-degree connections to. I considered the possibility that some people would call me a manhating feminazi or other backlashy things, though given the general atmosphere at DW I didn't think that very likely. And in fact everybody posted really supportive comments, so thank you for justifying my leap of faith.

The thing is, though, that I was talking about a topic that is controversial among feminists, not just contentious between feminists and non-feminists. My post was in fact about that very controversy and how I want to have a feminist discussion about it, without a lot of anger and misery and people coming away feeling that their personal choices are being attacked. What did in fact happen was that one person commented with something a bit carelessly phrased, and the discussion ended up heading a little bit in the direction of exactly the kind of online feminism discussions which so distress me. I don't think anyone meant any harm by it, it's just that with such a relatively large crowd of new people all disagreeing vehemently, though politely, with one person can feel like a pile-on.

This isn't intended as a criticism of anyone, it's just started me thinking about whether I am up to the task of curating / moderating a conversation on a larger scale than I've been used to. Assuming of course that this new exciting wider audience stick around! Oh well, it's all a learning curve, and I've always been an attention-seeking sort of blogger anyway.

Also I'm having so much fun looking at my Google stats. It's like the whole world is lit up green with all these people looking at my little journal...

Comments

[monanotlisa]

It's good to see a leap of faith reach the other side, Liv. ;)

[liv]

Thank you!

[holyschist]

I know the meme can't possibly be representative of DW's whole userbase, but it sure is darned interesting all the same as a cross-section of some part of it (the three things that stood out to me: lots of queer folks, lots of scientists, and a pretty diverse range of countries--but some of this perception may be my biases going "Squee, queer scientists everywhere!" and not always noticing the others. I dunno).

[liv]

Representative... hahahaha no. But I think it's still an interesting cross-section of the people who are either within a few degrees of separation of me, or pay close attention to News posts. And yes, I did notice lots of scientists. I definitely share your squee about queer scientists everywhere!

[mutantenemy]

Hello! Open-minded Hetero here. Could you please educate me on what cis-sexual is? Thanks! :)

[synecdochic]

Very briefly, it means a person for whom their mental gender and physical sex align.

[mutantenemy]

Okay. So if I'm understanding this correctly that means a lesbian, a homosexual, and a heterosexual can identify as cissexual as well?

Is that correct?

[synecdochic]

Yup -- cis/trans is independent of LGB. LGB is sexual orientation (to put it crudely, whom you want to fuck), while cis/trans is gender identity and expression: do your mental gender and your physical sex agree with each other?

It's bad to define things by their opposites, but it is a bit easier to understand if you think of it as cissexual is the opposite of transsexual; if you are cis, you are not trans, and vice-versa.

[mutantenemy]

Thank you so much for the extra clarification! That helps me out a lot. :)

Awesome. I learned something new today.

[synecdochic]

You're welcome! Glad I could be of service. *tips hat*

[dpfesh]

I'm glad someone asked, i've been wondering too! I run around in the queer community and hadn't heard this cis-sexual before.

I wonder what you are if you're not quite trans and not quite cis.

words are fun :)

[rho]

I don't have the time to explain it myself right now, but you may want to try googling the term "gender queer".

[dpfesh]

~grin~ yes i suppose that one would work :)
I would reckon i am a fluid gender/sexuality if i was forced to apply entirely appropriate terms. Usually i just stick with "Queer" as it's easier in genera.

[liv]

It was sort of made up to stop people from making the opposite of transsexual / transgender be "normal". Cis literally means on the same side, but it's used a lot more rarely than trans, only really in technical contexts like organic chemistry (are your reactive groups on the same side of a non-rotaing bond? they are in cis) and geology (cis-Alpine means on the same side of the Alps). And now it means your gender identity is on the same side of the binary as your physical body.

By the way, I always welcome questions like this. I try not to use too much jargon but with such a wide range of people talking to eachother there are often going to be words someone doesn't know. So thanks for asking.

[nanaya]

It was a very good meme! I've not done it but I approve.

I've been busily creating new DW content myself - perhaps you've seed my posts about seedclub?

[nanaya]

*seen* my posts!

Argh. Well, apropos typo or what?

[liv]

I sort of love "have you seed my posts about seeds", I'd have thought it was a pun if you hadn't corrected it. I am not sure if I should join the comm, cos I'm really a complete beginner to gardening and I don't know how much I could contribute. Thanks for asking me, though.

[nanaya]

Oh, complete beginners are very welcome! Most of us are beginners really. I only started gardening last year and I still don't know what I'm doing, as my posts about gardening should probably tell you. There's this sort of recurring theme of AARGH I B0RKED IT!!!

Also, the comm is as much for swapping stuff as chatting, and if you'd like to take any of the spare seeds off our long list of availables, just let me know :-)

[delight]

Honestly, I was kicking myself after my post for not saying I'm cissexual, due to the fact that my boyfriend is trans – and then I thought about it, and realized, the way he sees it, being trans or cis shouldn't actually matter. The same way, I don't tend to say "my trans boyfriend," because he's just my boyfriend, and he's a guy, even if he's at the beginning of medical transition and not the end.

And considering he and my two non-internet trans friends are all stealth, I genuinely don't ever think about it. Despite feeling stupid for not thinking about it.

[liv]

I'm not at all saying that everybody who is cis should make a point of saying so. I'm very much with you in wanting it not to matter. It's just interesting to look at the aggregate and see how many people are aware of the identity issue rather than treating cis as the unmarked case.