Pep talk required

[liv]

I've had two sessions at the gym which reminded me exactly why I was scared of exercise. I'm not exactly going to give up after 9 months, but I'm feeling rubbish and I could do with some hugs / encouraging thoughts.

Now that my fitness is a bit better than utterly non-existent, I've started going a class. It's a thing called "Body Pump™"; the concept is that you do various things repetitive things with weights, set to music. Until last week, I quite enjoyed the class; it was varied, it was a mix of cardio and strength exercises, it felt challenging without being painful. Then on Thursday there was a new instructor who did things a bit differently. Not vastly different, I could tell it was the same basic concept, but there were two minor changes that made it really unpleasant and stressful for me. The first was that she wanted us to do some of the exercises really fast, two reps to a beat, that sort of thing. And the second was that she interspersed the weight exercises I'm used to, with what I think of as aerobics, without any weight, but including things like jumping.

So I re-discovered the fact that I can't do complicated sequences of movements fast. Unlike what would have happened at school, nobody laughed at me because I couldn't keep up with the class, but I still felt humiliated, perhaps because of setting off bad memories. It didn't help that I was having a bad day anyway; I'd just heard that my big grant application was summarily rejected, not even meeting the bar to be reviewed in detail. So I spent basically the whole evening with head squirrels reciting, I'm so stupid, I can't do anything, I'm rubbish; it was all I could do not to burst into tears. And then I felt even more stupid for getting upset about such a minor thing as a grant rejection (which is a normal part of my professional life) or not being able to do aerobics when I thought I was signing up for a class where strength was more important than speed.

Then I went to Cambridge at the weekend and had generally awesome time, except that I'm allergic to Cambridge and I set off a bit of asthma. I sort of knew I was wheezy this morning, and decided to ignore it because if I am determined to keep up my gym routine even when I'm feeling under the weather. If I start giving myself excuses, I'll end up "not feeling up to it" more often than not. But of course I couldn't do the cardio, and trying set off an asthma attack and it was painful and I wanted to panic (and also felt like a failure for not being able to complete my routine). I suppose one comfort is that I am now fit enough that I can tell the difference between my heart not keeping up and my lungs not keeping up. (That's not physiologically accurate, but as a shorthand.) A year ago I couldn't really do anything to raise my heartrate at all without having a very good chance of setting off asthma, so this is a definite improvement.

This is pretty much what I was scared would happen when you all encouraged me to try going to the gym anyway. So I'm hoping you'll encourage me again and reassure me that just because I've had two consecutive bad sessions, doesn't mean that I have completely lost the ability to do exercise. Sorry to be whiny; I just feel as if I've reverted back to my teenage self being constantly frustrated and picked on because I couldn't keep up with physical activity.

Comments

[chickenfeet]

Everybody has exercise days when nothing feels right. There are times when I try to go out running and after a few minutes I just know that my body has decided not to co-operate. Best thing is listen to your body!

[gool_duck]

Sounds like that instructor is a bad fit for you. It's okay to seek out an instructor with a better fit for you.

[liv]

I think that's a good idea. Firstly because I make sure I always get myself to the gym when I plan to, I don't get to wimp out because I'm feeling lazy one day. And once I'm there I might as well do the exercise unless I really really can't. Secondly if I am obviously damaging myself by continuing then of course I should stop!

The problem I have with listening to my body is that it is quite liable to send unnecessarily melodramatic "help help I can't get enough air!" messages. And listening to those every time makes the breathing difficulties worse, not to mention it led to my not doing any kind of physical activity for about a decade. Not really an optimal plan. But I think I am getting better at telling the difference between panic and actual problems.

[liv]

True, and thank you for reminding me of this. There's nothing wrong with showing up 10 minutes before the class, checking who's going to be running it and if it's the one who wants me to jump about a lot, going off to do solo stuff on the machines instead. I need to figure out how to do this without making it seem as if I'm snubbing her (it isn't always obvious who's running the class until it's about to start, basically).

[chickenfeet]

The lemur suffers from breath related panic attacks. What works for her is to start slow and warm up thoroughly before pushing too hard. Anyway, good luck in finding an approach that works for you.

[pensnest]

It can be a right pain when you get a different instructor, definitely. Especially when it's a fast class—not so bad in Pilates where things are supposed to be a lot slower, but Body Pump is a pretty tough one to begin with.

There's nothing at all wrong with declining to go to a class when it doesn't suit you. Do a nice cardio and weights session instead, where you can set a rhythm that works for you. In my experience it is a heck of a lot easier to keep going to the gym if you enjoy what you do there, and that's important.

[rmc28]

I agree with all of this.

Also, the fact that you (liv) can now tell the difference between "heart and lungs" is really impressive to me.

[mathcathy]

Basically, every other instructor except Debbie at Total Fitness is poor at leading the Pump class. If it had been an instructor I recognised as bad I'd have told you that the reason I was skipping the class was the instructor. I wasn't sure, though, I hadn't seen her before.

On Saturday I did the class with her and half the group were missing half the exercises she'd asked us to do (if you'd looked around Thursday you would probably have noticed that there were far fewer than normal and that most of them were rebelling against the "do this really really fast" thing and also some of the other bits.

After the Saturday class Charlotte (one of the regulars there) came over to me and said "bring back Debbie" and then after a bit of mutual "we hate the other instructors" told me that on one bit, where we'd caught each others eyes, she'd thought that the exercises this new instructor was suggesting were even dangerous. I think mostly all the class were ignoring her by that point and just doing ordinary sit ups.

So don't be disheartened by that class. Really don't. There is a woman who does the 1030am classes during the week (angela) who is as good (if not better than) Debbie, but she never subs when Debbie's taken holiday. Do you remember when I told you that I basically stopped going to the gym when D was on maternity leave? They couldn't cover her Pump or her Spin classes adequately.

[liv]

When I made my first stab at exercising, in the nice work gym when I lived in Sweden, Pilates was one of the things I was most taken by. I haven't specifically looked for a Pilates class at my current gym, because I want to concentrate more on the cardio stuff.

To tell the truth I don't really enjoy going to the gym at all. The best I can hope for is not miserable; if I can manage that, then my good resolution, and rewarding myself with XP on Chorewars, keeps me going. But you're quite right, it's not rude to skip out of the class if it's a different instructor from the one whose style I like. Thank you.

[jack]

*hugs* I've been really impressed that you've kept up the habit of going to the gym, I hope I may copy your good example at somepoint... The important thing is to keep the habit even if you have a couple of off sessions; if you turn up and do something, that's a massive part of the inertia working in your favour instead of against you already, even if you decide you don't want to do one of the things you usually do for once.

I'm really glad you've discovered more of what you can and can't do without triggering asthma; it could so easily have been hard to do anything, but you're right, you were determined to keep trying, and you've gone from almost nothing to regularly exercising, getting noticeably fitter and stronger, to knowing a lot better your limits and which you can and should push through and which you shouldn't press, and generally been an awesome success if you look back on it, so don't let a couple of sessions overwhelm that.

I know I would feel exactly the same as you in the same situation. I always feel awful when I'm trapped in a public situation I'm not quite up to; I suddenly get blind and can't see what's a reasonable way out and what isn't, and find it easier to avoid stuff in advance than exit gracefully, so I know I wouldn't be able to realise this following paragraph about myself, but I can say it about you (and know it's true for me too, even if I wouldn't have thought of it myself).

You have been very successful in getting better, doing exercises, having a trainer, going to classes, and it's worked. Even if every day hasn't been perfect and you haven't always felt like it, you've done enough that you've succeeded. You've improved -- you will go on improving, if you can go on with the same sort of level of stuff as you've been doing. So what's best for you, and what you deserve, and what you are entitled to and are indirectly paying for, is stuff that will work for that. It's a shame that a small change that (presumably) the other instructor thought would be positive and not be a problem was much less helpful for you, but you need what _does_ work for you, and the fact that this one class was a bad fit was unfortunate and possibly embarrassing, but not bad about exercise per se. You are under no obligation to find what's helpful for most people helpful for you: you have specific reasons it wasn't quite right. It's not like you put yourself in under false pretenses: you had every reason to expect it to be good, and it wasn't, but because the communication happened to not quite be sufficient, not because you were intruding on something.

You should work out what would be best for you. Checking beforehand to see if you will the instructor you're used to? Talking to the instructor and seeing if they suggest anything? Seeing if you can keep a second time when you know what to expect, and know what you may be able to leave out? Dropping the class and finding another one? Asking your trainer or Cathy or anyone else who may know what the class is like what they think?

*hugs* It's a problem that will be solved by common sense, objectivity and emotional support, not a fundamental problem with exercising. Don't lose track of how well you've done if something isn't perfect. xxxxx.

Edit: *reads Cathy's comment* Huh. So, apparently your impression of the class was what everyone else thought, you just didn't have the background to know that at the time. So you officially don't suck, yay! :)

[liv]

Huh, so it's not that I'm incompetent and uncoordinated? That's really reassuring to know, thank you. I was going to complain to you on Thursday but I thought if I started talking about it I'd just burst into tears and that didn't seem quite fair. So, ok, in future I'll make sure I only come to the class while Debbie is in charge.

[oursin]

There are always some things that are going to be bad fits for one's particular exercise needs or capacities: I cannot be doing with aerobics, for similar coordination reasons, and the speeding things up and so on. Which is why I like the gym.

I also just Do Not Get Tai Chi, whereas I'm fine (depending somewhat on instructor) with yoga or pilates.

[liv]

Thank you! I'm really pleased as well, it's a huge improvement over any fitness level I've ever attained in the past.

[hatam_soferet]

a) It's also okay to do one rep per beat instead of two, or not jumping and simply doing the exercise you were doing before. It is always, always okay to change things so that you are working within your own limits.

b) Who cares if she feels snubbed?!

[liv]

I think a lot of my problem has been that the available forms of exercise were running or aerobics (or similar highly energetic dance), both of which are miserable for me. And that's the reason why I thought for ages that I hated exercise full stop. It was a bit of a revelation to show up at the gym and be told it was totally fine to prefer power-walking over running, and that I can do all kinds of fitness building stuff that doesn't require me to jump around or be highly coordinated.

I think going back on that was part of why I was so upset last week. I can dance, not well, but I can, I just need to go through the steps slowly a lot more times than most people do. I think I can probably conclude that Zumba is not going to be for me, even though it's the latest cool thing.

[403]

"..she'd thought that the exercises this new instructor was suggesting were even dangerous."

The gym would probably want to know that, so the new instructor can be told to adjust her plan for the class. I know in my martial arts classes, when a junior instructor once told us to do a warm-up exercize that could cause a joint injury (which he didn't realize was dangerous), the senior instructor stopped him before he'd even finished demonstrating it to us.

[blue_mai]

I don't have much helpful to say except that I am *so* impressed with what you've done so far and how you're going about it. I am utterly useless at routine, and your twice a week gym thing is twice more in a week than I've done in my life... despite supposedly being required to 'train' when I used to do sports.

I would definitely echo the listen to your body sentiments, except that that is excatly why I never go to the gym or keep up regular exercise. heh. but I still like listening to my body.

the second thing is - I really don't think that instructors get hurt feelings if you do once-a-beat repeats instead of twice-a-beat or whatever, if you are happy at a certain level of pushing yourself in terms of speed/coordination, there is absolutely no obligation to go beyond that. going half or quarter-speed on a routine or repeats is a good way of staying involved with the class if you want. it's not about "keeping up" anymore.

[monanotlisa]

Please don't worry, or give up; things like this happen, to all of us. We're not all talented for every aspect of sports, and that's okay -- I personally don't learn movement of just my body quickly either, so dancing or karate takes a long long time and is imminently frustrating: you should have seen me at the dojo or those afternoon tea dances...or, you know, not. But in the end, I persevered: got my belt, got my medal. :)

[azurelunatic]

Oh, meep, yeah.

[syllopsium]

Some days are just better than others and I find that a lot depends on your instructor, what's happened to you that day, sleep, general health and mental state - where the difference between physical ability and motivation comes in.

The general trend is definitely what's necessary, and anyone who's not an elite athlete is allowed a day off!

I don't work out for speed - it's more endurance for me, to increase capacity, tone up and a bit of weight loss. If I find that I'm really not in the mood I back off and run slower or bimble around on the bike. At the end of the day, exercise aims aside, I do this to enjoy myself!

[emperor]

I get on-days and off-days with exercisey-things (be that cycling to work, or climbing), and it sounds like this other instructor isn't really a good fit for you. If they're a temporary thing while the usual instructor is on holiday or something, maybe do something else until the usual one is back?
*hug*

[redbird]

Thirding the "it's not rude": you want one style of class, and she's doing a different one.

If the instructor can't cope with the fact that there are gym members who don't like her style of teaching, that is not your fault. Either there are only a few of you, and it shouldn't be a big deal, or there are enough that she should reconsider whether her approach to BodyPump fits that gym.

About listening to your body

[redbird]

Part of the trick is to tell the difference between specific signs of problems, and general malaise. The latter is much more likely to be that you still don't enjoy the gym, but are doing it because it's good for you (sort of an extended version of flossing one's teeth). And it sounds as though you're getting good at that.

Sometimes it's about balancing things: I was sick on Tuesday, and still coughing some on Thursday, so I called my trainer and canceled my Thursday session, and went home and just did a bit of stretching and my basic physical therapy stuff for the shoulder. That was partly because I was planning to visit Adrian this weekend, and was worried that if I did the gym, I wouldn't be up to enjoying the trip. As it happened, I was feeling fine on the weekend, and at Adrian's suggestion went to the gym on Sunday.

Also (and I may have mentioned this before) if you're not doing a class at the gym, you can go and do just a little: if you normally do 20 minutes of cardio, try 7 or 10. If you're used to doing four things with weights, pick one, and then see how you feel after doing it. Sometimes when I do that I wind up doing eight or ten things; sometimes I do two and then shower and go home.

[jesse_the_k]

I support both A and B in all their shiny wisdom. I've pretty much been a clod my whole life, and it's really easy for me to get submissive when taught by graceful and competent-seeming instructors. You're not working out for them! They're working for you!

If you feel comfortable mentioning it, it might be helpful to mention your asthma concerns to the good instructor. She might be able to notice changes in breathing as you're working out, and clue you in to breathe out more slowly or use your inhaler or whatever.

[hatam_soferet]

I'm so glad you've got this kind of reassurance.

You could also suggest to the gym that Debbie Is Awesome, and more importantly, WHY Debbie Is Awesome.